#dean needs therapy

[sweetnesscore]

WARNING: This is a really, and i mean REALLY, long post

Brain can't stop thinking fic ideas so you lovely folks get to hear me ramble about my frustrations on the lack of Benny in destiel fanfics!

Or im just not finding them well enough...maybe.

BUT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT- Dean being with Benny can open a lot of doors! Are the doors labeled with 'miscommunication'? Yes, yes they fucking are but i love that troupe so just keep hearing me out.

I dont like Benny and Dean just for the sake of spicing Dean's relationship with Cas. In canon, Benny and Dean bonded in Purgatory; a place where Dean acknowledges is nothing but pure because there's nothing there but instinct and rage and everything real. I don't think I need to explain further how big of a deal it was for Dean to trust a vampire, much more consider him as close as family, back then.

Benny was there when Sam and Cas wasn't. For a while, it was just two of them, existing and defending each other. Their relationship started off as transactional -both wanted the same thing but with a stop along the way- but I refuse to believe that it stayed as such.

Benny accepted Dean the way Cas accepted Dean. Neither one of them wanted him to change. Dean was and is their human. Hell, both sacrificed their life for Dean, come on! (Though of course, destiel all the way)

DO YOU SEE WHAT IM GETTING AT HERE!?

I see many fics where Dean had previous partners before Cas. Azazel, Michael, Lucifer, Lisa, Andy- only few of them considers Benny!

I want Dean to be in a relationship with Benny, damnit, and with Destiel as the endgame in mind! And you know what, im not even talking about putting in some adultery in the mix.

Usually, in fics, Dean has trust and attachment issues. No shame here, this isnt an opinion- it is a straight up fact. He needs help. Even in fics, the guy does not get breaks. Thats why his previous relationships doesnt last long but with Benny? I think he once had a healthy relationship with Benny as he was his for the longest of time until he realizes that he's slowly becoming the toxic one in their relationship. Self-destructive behaviors because he's so used to destrucive and abusive relationships.

Then! He met Castiel.

AGAIN, NO ADULTERY IS GOING TO HAPPEN HERE.

This shit is slow burn material, my incognito friends.

Speedrun time, let's go:

Dean and Benny in a relationship, the longest relationship Dean ever had. Dean gets anxious because he's not used to things being so happy and sunshine and rainbows. Dean becomes destructive, sabotiging his relationship with Benny who remains patient and understanding but is struggling through it. Dean feels guilty because self-aware fuckery. Then Dean meets Cas. Strangers become friends become bestest of friends. Cas fell for Dean first but DOES NOT PURSUE HIM BECAUSE HE IS DECENT. Cas instead helps Dean with his relationship in the long run. Lots of angst. Lots of miscommunication. Lots of therapy. Lots and lots of self-destruction. Long period of timelines stretched out.

Benny ends up breaking things off with Dean. Or maybe Dean ends up breaking things off with Benny. Neither one of them makes the other happy anymore. So sad, lots of crying and regret. Dean goes to Cas for comfort. Dean gets drunk, Cas tries to keep him rational. Dean ruins things by trying to kiss Cas but Cas stops him. Dean feels guilty. Cas feels guilty. Everyone feels fucking guilty. Another long period of timelines stretched out, maybe Dean moves away to Sam or Bobby or Charlie to have a clear mind or maybe Cas moves away to give Dean space and to also have a clear mind. Both somehow met again. They talk, bond, confess, then BOOM!

Destiel, baby. Endgame.

If you made it this far, i love you so much- thank you for reading my ramble. Incognito or not, i see you, we have the same taste, i respect that.

[theogmrpandabear]

Hot Take-

Dean Winchester Pisses me The F U C K off most times with his sheer HYPOCRISY

[unprofessionalprofessionalbinger]

12x14 "The raid"

"I never was"

And the way he calls her MARY ughhhhhhh

Please just shoot me.

I'll go haunt the writers. For all uf us.

[padfoot0216]

Jody - How are you all doing?

Sam - I’m...breathing.

Jody - Setting the bar pretty low.

Sam - It’s more than Dean.

Dean, having a panic attack - Fuck you

[derogatoryapparently]

The show needed more of Missouri telling Dean what to do. Pretty sure she would have convinced him to go to therapy and to, "Marry that angel, child. Or I'll whoop your tail!"

[saudades-whore]

If anyone wants a side of Therapist!Cas, Dean taking on his Daddy Issues & them both finding love, come hither: (CanonVerse) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816389/chapters/70674144

Castiel was meant for gentler things than war. For helping bright, hopeful, green things to grow. Dean Winchester's ending was meant to be happy: not getting torn apart by John Winchester's unfinished business. Seriously facing down the rest of his life, Dean decides to get therapy. It's the unconventional kind, because when have their lives ever been normal? Little does he know the man he's been writing to is an old friend. Happy ending, because Misha Collins said I could.

[agentzreads]

Reading through the SPN 14x18 tags and I’m really happy to see the majority of the fandom angry at Dean’s treatment of Cas.

Thank Chuck, I’m glad not too many are forgiving him. Even Sam called him out on his bullish!t.

So does that mean we’ll eventually get a Dean scene where he just, falls all over himself apologizing for being the perpetually angry scary dad they all try to appease?

Cuz I’m here for that kind of character growth.

[sweetnesscore]

WAIT I HAVE ANOTHER THOUGHT BASED ON MANY FANFIC I HAVE READ

SO- Cas gets brought back from the Empty, thanks to Jack. Huzzah! Confetti and hugs!

And normally, either Dean figures his shit out and reciprocates Cas' love immediately after Cas' revival or they go through the road of angst and suffer for a few chapters before Dean finally admits that he does in fact love Cas. I love it, love both routes and i will fucking die on both of it.

But...and this is a huge but and really angsty in my opinion but lets be real here, we all love angst...what if when Cas comes back, both of them pretends that the confession didnt happen?

Unrealistic? Perhaps! But it's my thoughts so im gonna keep going.

From what I remember, Dean doesn't do well when the people he loves dies or left because of him. He chalks it up as his fault (one way or another) and shoves that feeling deep into his chest. Who's to say that the first time he sees Cas again, all he felt was guilt? Because it was Cas' love for Dean that made him get taken by the Empty, Cas' decision to allow himself to feel pure happiness in a horrible situation because it was the only way to save Dean?

And Cas can sense it, Dean's guilt. It was there when he tried to talk to Dean about what had happened; tried to be gentle and understanding but it only back-fired as those kind gestures only made Dean retreat back to his shame.

So, Cas does what he always does best: Help Dean.

And if that means having to pretend what had happened never happened...then that's what he'll do.

Of course, it's easier said than done. With his true emotions out in the wild, Cas now unconsciously gravitate towards Dean. Somehow, someway- Cas has managed to invade Dean's life in every aspect he could think of. There are bad days as much as good ones; days when Cas couldnt help but look at Dean with the face of a man in love and sometimes, he didn't hide it fast enough from Dean.

Dean whose face turns pale and panic emerges from behind those eyes.

It was never disgust so Cas knew that Dean wasn't entirely put off by his love so what's the reason behind such emotions?

Dean never told Cas about it, and Sam knew only because he strategically got Dean drunk enough to spill the truth.

Ever since the day Cas got taken by the Empty, Dean has developed some sort of fear response whenever someone shows any sort of affection towards him. He barely tolerates Sam's consistent worry and concern but with Cas? He just can't.

It's the reason why whenever Cas tries to tell Dean he loves him, Dean would always cover his mouth or runs away.

Because what if it happens again? What if when Cas tells or even just shows how much he loves Dean, the Empty -or something cause there's always something- is going to take Cas away again? What if Cas and Jack made a deal again so that Cas can leave? What if the Empty take Cas away when it's Dean's turn to confess, to reveal that he does love Cas the same way Cas loves him?

Everytime someone ends up loving Dean, they always end up leaving BECAUSE of Dean. Cassie, Lisa, Bobby, Sam, Castiel-

He can't risk it.

Not again.