Dear Goose,
Okay. Seriously. What the fuck? You look like an adorable cat. You are not allowed to just spring that tentacle thing on us out of nowhere.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk. I want to know more about Flerken. Flerkens? How do you make that plural? Anyway. Are there more of you out there? Uh, are all the cats on Earth Flerkens, because I feel like that is something we should be made aware of, if that’s the case. For, you know, safety reasons. Do you have a home planet? Do you want to go back there? Do you have space travel? I know the Internet would love cats flying spaceships. Cats doing anything are kind of the Internet’s jam, after all.
Speaking of which, how intelligent are Flerkens? Can you understand us? Read? Write? Do you surf the Internet looking for cat memes, by chance? You seem to have the temperament of a real cat, to be honest, considering. You appear to have the vastly shifting loyalties of an Earth cat. And there was what you did to Nick’s eye. Super funny that that’s the real story, by the way. I think we all got a great laugh out of discovering that one.
And how does that pocket dimension in your stomach work? That seems a little awkward. Do the tentacles come from there? Like, really, are you Ben from The Umbrella Academy or something? Or are the tentacles just extra accessories? Not that that’s any less weird, mind you. Just curious. And did it, um, hurt when you barfed up the Tesseract? I feel like it would, but what do I know? I’ve never barfed up a Tesseract. Thank goodness.
Well, that’s enough questions for now, isn’t it? I want to end by just saying that I’m sorry about what happened to Mar-Vell, even though hanging out with Nick seems pretty cool too. I hope we get to find out what happened to you after the events of Captain Marvel, and I hope that you show up again in the Marvel continuity. Even with the tentacles, I think we’d all like to see more of you in the future.
Love, A Cat Person
