#dear jongin

[aphrodites]

you are the dream i had wished so badly that would be mine

[aphrodites]

i made a wish on the stars hoping that it would be you

[aphrodites]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to 10 of your favorite followers! ❤

oh oh oh hi thanks love~ 

but i don’t really have much i like i guess??? ahh

okay so uhm AHH

1. i like that i am empathetic 

2. i like that i have good tastes in friends

3. i like that i have good tastes in biases 

4. i like that i can write even though i feel like i suck

5. i like that i uh damn can tolerate people??? 

[ottoque]

i usually don’t like doing this but i can’t help but want to share my two cents on this because it’s literally all i can think about. it’s something that pains me so much and i just need to get it off my chest. 

do you know why i think jongin cries like that when he can’t perform even though he’s injured? it’s because ever since he was a trainee he was sm’s “golden child”. there were set standards for him ever since he was a kid, and of course you grow up thinking you have to live up to them. think of it like this: it’s like when you’re younger and you’re told you’re really smart but then you grow up and realize you aren’t as smart as you were told and you start thinking you suck, and you have failed standards that were set for you. jongin probably feels he disappoints fans and others when he gets injured, and can’t perform. like he’s letting everyone down. 

dear jongin,

you’re flawed and there’s nothing wrong with that. i still find you absolutely beautiful. your flaws are even what i find perfect. i absolutely admire how talented you are and how much hard work you put in. please, please never think you are letting fans down. don’t work so hard to the point you strain your body. what we want to see is a happy and healthy, beautiful jongin doing what he loves most. i never want to see you look so lonely on that stage ever again. always remember that we are always here beside you. we’re always proud of you regardless. 

[ottoque]

i feel like this a lot to ask considering we’re all aiming for the goal of being in this book or whatever but like i don’t mind liking yours if you like mine ;; and oh god me making fun of promo4promo is coming back to bite me in the butt but seriously you guys have no idea how much it would mean to me if even for a second jongin knew of my existence and could just know how happy he makes me and how so very thankful i am he exists. i couldn’t really express myself fully with the only 500 characters im allowed but i really tried to express all that i feel for jongin in those 500 characters which was extremely difficult cause god i love that kid. im extremely frustrated that i don’t even think i succeeded in doing it but i really tried and i just really hope it actually makes it to jongin so much i would owe you my life if you could so kindly like this and help me out;;;;

[ottoque]

. 

nini let's sip hot honey tea cuddled up on the couch in the winter

let's stay up all night watching super hero movies

and then decide to go the beach the next morning 

because why not

who cares if it's cold that's what hugging is for

if we're going to be shy people let's at least be shy with each other

let's own five dogs okay!

let's find endless things to talk about curled up in each other's arms

im ngl you'd have to initiate the conversation

but with you i could probably talk to you for hours

we could laze around on the couch and watch soccer

id can teach you some chants hehe

or we could go and actually play?

we can invite the loser hyungs

let's play 2 against 5 i bet we'd still win

((let's not invite xiuhan tho ok))

let's share headphones

with eddy kim's 'darling' on repeat

i would love to listen to you sing to pyt from the bathroom

i wouldn't even care if you were even just a bit offkey

i'd just laugh it off cus either way your voice is still my most favorite thing in the world

let's film a lot of self videos with each other and create a lot of memories okay

when i finish uni with a degree in production how about you help me with my very first project?

i think it's going to be about an average girl who falls in love with an angel im not sure yet

just letting you know

im planning to steal a bunch of your shirts for my own usage

bc theyre snuggly just like you im pretty sure

when we go out on fancy dates promise me you'll dance in our living room to justin timberlake

swing your tie around cus you'll think you're sexy

((chances probably that you are indeed sexy))

for your birthday i promise to buy you some really nice vans

or how about some fancy sperrys instead?

we'll probably argue over what we should have as a midnight snack

ill complain over having chicken again

(('but nini! i don't want to eat anymore chicken! they're too cute!'))

in the end i'll probably give in bc you'll puppy dog face me

and kim jongin is chicken really that important to you??

it'll be ok tho cus later you'll compensate with three in the morning snuggles

i just want to live so simply with you i really do ;A;

[ottoque]

frapcoffee said:

why do u love kim jongin

aka the stupidest question ever and i actually have hatred growing for u sarah watch urself

the very first time i saw kim jongin was the very day sm released the first teaser for exo. honestly, the very moment i saw 'kai', i was so very attracted to him because he was like, not the usual of what you see in kpop? he was different, and it was indeed eye catching. i ended up biasing baek and luhan tho lol cus honestly, im just used to biasing vocalists. they're just imo easiest to always spot cus you can always just pin point their voices and i guess like, i never had interest in dancers? cus my perception of 'dancers' in kpop was like 'oh you can dance this choreography the choreographers made the best let's make you lead dancer' and so they just never had my attention a lot. long story short, i was so wrong. so very wrong. kim jongin literally waltzed into my life, and it was hard to take my eyes off of him. i found myself always searching for him first during like performances, because damn, the boy doesn't dance for the sole purpose of dancing, he dances because dancing is something apart of him and it's something he's truly passionate about. when i learned that jongin had been dancing since he was young and knew various styles of dancing, the walls around my heart were crumbling. when i found out he wasn't even scouted by sm, and he had to suffer through numerous auditions, i knew there was no building that wall back up. i remember the day of exo's first win, and kim jongin cried, i knew the kid had already walked straight into my heart, and made himself right at home. kim jongin made me realize love is fair to everyone

and oh, how i do for sure love kim jongin. 

it's not even just that, though. jongin has the most, melodious laugh and such a milky voice that just makes me feel so warm. just the very sound of his name makes my heart want to grow wings. i love the way he puts his all into dancing but can still manage to be such a huge dork (read: an adorable dork). he has the most radiant smile that i have ever come to witness, that i don't even know how my life had any source of light before the knowledge of its existence. the way he is so charismatic on stage but in reality, he's such a shy little baby. i love how he's this little kid who's sleepy a good percentage of the time, it makes me want to scold him to properly get some rest, because im terribly afraid he's gonna get hurt if he keeps sleep walking so often. he makes me want to be a much better person, the best that i can be because that's exactly what he is to me already and i want nothing but to be up to par with my greatest inspiration. the love he has for his dogs (or the love he has for dogs in general), his friendship with taemin, the bonds he shares with his members, the way he is with his fans, and what he is willing to do for them to keep them happy, etc. these are just the little things i can name off the top of my head as to why i love kim jongin, but the list is honestly endless. 

kim jongin is the only person that can make my heart race with the simplest of smiles. he is the only person that could ever make me so possessive because i just want him to be mine mine mine but at the same time scream to world how beyond amazing this boy is because he deserves the universe, and i could never amount to that. he's the only person i just crave so much to just hold in my arms and just nonstop tell him how beautiful i think he is, no, scratch that, how i think he is the most beautiful person to exist, regardless of what anyone else thinks. he's the only person i want to dedicate endless songs to. he's the only person i would ever dare only speak of in cliches

7 billion smiles, and yours is my favorite.

you are the best part of all the songs i love. 

you don't cross my mind, you live in it. 

because he's the only person who can make me so incoherent and so disorganized in my thoughts because how does one truly describe the love they have for their sole reason of happiness? 

i knew i loved kim jongin the very moment my heart was completely aware of his existence. 

and here i finish writing this, shaking and crying because this is so frustrating. this is too short, there's just so much more to be said about kim jongin, he deserves to have so much more to be said but i can't even say more because words will just never do enough justice about how perfect i think he is and how much i really do love him with every fiber of my being and soul. words will never be enough. 

[jonqxun]

dear jongin

is it weird if i write to someone who will never read this? is it termed being delusional? i hope not, because it would be great for the person i teared for while watching him dance to be able to at least know that i will always support and love him. and that's you, EXO's Kai, or rather, Kim Jongin. i'm still unsure of why my emotions overpowered me and the tears flowed when i watched that one fancam of yours. you were pouring out all your heart to perform a choreography which you have practiced a zillion times for, shining and standing out so brightly amidst your fellow members (who are already considered stellar dancers). and i asked myself, how could anyone put in so much effort into things? and i thought about myself - always bumming around and procrastinating to the last minute. always blaming everyone else and lamenting that everything is against me, i hate the world, i want to die blah blah. but you proved me wrong. you showed me what passion is. determination. perfection. effort, i see in you, and i promise you, i'll mimic your actions. i won't be kim jongin, but i'll be that one fan who goes, "that jongin oppa got me my As." thank you, for being the star i look for amidst the dark sky, for always pushing me through pushing yourself, for being the greatest role model and hardest worker. i love you.