Dear Lien,
Dear Lien,
“Happiness is not something that you find at the end of the road… it is here, now.”
A smile was usually the only accessory you wore and it made others smile as well. Your smile reached your dark brown eyes and lightened them, enhancing the milk chocolate behind the shadows. Your enthusiasm made others laugh; it brightened others’ days. You shamelessly told your hopes and dreams to others. Your hope was to help others hope?
You swore that you wouldn’t be a moody teenager, locked away from everyone and the world. You swore that the number thirteen wouldn’t change your laugh or your smile. You realized that you never wanted to turn out the lights, that you wanted the light to stay. You never wanted to change.
That’s exactly what happened, though. You are locked in your room, binge watching Supernatural, or Doctor Who, or whatever. Moody isn’t the right word. The proper word is probably disconnected or irritated or puberty.
You’re still you, though. You still like to make people laugh, and you’ve gotten to talking a lot more.
You’re still you, but with minor additions. You’ve gotten more of a smartass and sarcastic. The jokes and comebacks you make are darker, wittier, and more demonic. You don’t really know where things changed. Maybe it was the big one-three, or maybe moving into a new house with new family members did the trick. It could have been the fact that your new father had you thinking on your feet for witty responses to his terrible dad-puns.
Being adopted by a single mother made you unaccustomed to those stupid dad-puns. Having only a younger sister made you defenseless against older siblings. Bigger spaces in the new house made room for your spaztic personality to shine through the kitchen windows.
The dark humor really shone through when you introduced yourself to your peers in the first week of ninth grade with “Hi, my name is Lucifer, but my friends call me Satan.” You don’t know where that came from, the transitions are so blended into the past.
Your happiness comes from talking to people who laugh at your jokes and seem interested when listening to you. TV show and book references are your life and when people recognize the fandom, you can’t help but smile.
There’s always this feeling, though, that originated when you dyed your hair for the first time in eighth grade. You could be that badass, sarcastic, sassy girl clad in leather and combat boots. The compromise is good, though. Leggings and hoodies and combat boots join your glasses and faded hair.
Keep your smile, the real one, the one that reaches your eyes. Let it stay upon your lips and let it reach your eyes. There’s no way you can keep the corners of your lips up forever; there are going to be times that there’s not a bounce in your step and people will notice. Don’t let anything drag you down, keep your head up. Not that you need this advice, but better safe than sorry.
Go on ahead, Lien, and make the world smile.