The Beginner’s Guide to Finding Yourself
So, I see you’ve lost yourself. Why else would you be here? Some people would go to experts, but not you! If you thought I was an expert on finding yourself, you are very wrong. If you are looking for an expert go to, like, a therapist or something. I am barely intermediate. I can help you, though.
*Pro tip: Nobody knows what they’re doing in the beginning. They just pretend they know what they’re doing until they actually know what they are doing.*
Step One: Realize that you have nothing together and you’re a mess
-Being completely honest with yourself kind of sucks. Admitting that you’re not fine is especially hard when you’re admitting it to yourself. Some people want to know who they are but stay organized the whole time they do. It’s impossible. Well, almost impossible. Papers will probably fly everywhere.
-Pour out the contents of your soul and heart and mind onto a collection of pages. Write or draw or create music. Just vent. Put the honest feelings that you haven’t been able to share with anyone because you don’t want to put that burden on them.
Step Three: Find your Harry Potter.
-I like Harry Potter. The story and characters have been with me since the second grade and I’ve loved every bit of it. I’ve reread the series three times and the boy who lived will always be a part of me. I never forget that I used to hate my house, Slytherin. (I’d say I’ve had some real character development.)
-What’s your Harry Potter?
-Everyone’s scared of something. Snakes, spiders, ghosts, the dark, public speaking. To fear something, though, is worse than a simple dislike. I don’t like spiders, or bugs, but I’m not necessarily scared of them. I am, however, scared of having no one to fall back on, no one there for me. I’m scared of having absolutely nobody there for me. Is your fear arachnophobia, or are you scared of something mental like I am? What is it? Let that be your guide.
Step Five: Favorite things
-Write (in the journal, idjit) your favorite things. HOWEVER, you have to write weird things that are your favorite. Favorite name, word, stuffed animal, mug in your house. At all costs, DO NOT write ‘normal’ things like your favorite movie or song or color. No. What even is normal anyways?
-This is a kinda like that second step honestly, man. Eh.
-Have someone ask you a really deep question. Like, really deep. [For the questioner: Make sure the question makes the person think. Make sure that you hear a “well, actually…”
Step Seven: Well, don’t sugar coat it
-Now is the time for the honesty. Like, 200% honesty.
-Ask people to be brutally honest with you. WHAT DO THEY NOT LIKE?? Then, find the common dislikes/hates and run with them.
Step Eight: Punch him in the mouth
-C’mon. You really didn’t like it when I told you to have people telling you what they hate about you to your face, did you? You’re kind of mad that the honestly got to you. You didn’t want to let it, but it did. This is good. Anger is good. Emotion in general, really.
- Prove all of the haters (and everyone else, Mr. O is not a hater) wrong and that you can run the extra mile. That’s what you’ve got to do. Put the burning anger into your passion and create something beautiful (or, even better, something that makes people feel something).
Step Nine: Open up to people
-Find someone you can really trust. (Oh no, here we are. I knew this was going to happen eventually. We have now arrived at the part of the guide where the things I say are going to sound deep and meaningful. Don’t judge.) At first, open up to maybe an adult that you can trust, then work your way onto your peers. You wanna find someone who you know won’t betray you or anything. I mean, you may drift apart but at least your darkest secrets will die with them.
-Once you’ve admitted some things out loud, they don’t seem so crazy. This helps especially if the person you’re talking to completely understands you. Whether it’s just listening or offering advice, it’s good to know someone’s got your back.
-Let’s face it. Nobody had got themselves 100% together. They are most likely lying to themselves and everyone around them if they say they do. You’ve gotta live with your messed up self anyways, so why don’t you just live with it. You’ll pull yourself together eventually, and if you don’t, whatever. Trying to hard isn’t going to help very much. I believe that everything happens for a reason so I tear myself up about something, then messily glue myself back together. Glitter on top helps hide the cracks.
BONUS: When asked to define yourself, pick a moment that made you who you are and tell it. It may not be who you are completely, but what the hell are you going to do? Pour your soul to someone who you’ve probably just met? Likely story.
I wrote this in the beginning of the year. I’m giving it to you because I know you could do with some self-exploration. In SPIRIT! Ugh. The way your mind works.
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