#dear lucy

[berylthemanatee]

Jumpscare

[lettersfromskulljar]

Dear Lucy,

Carlyle & Skull is still on the table. Consider it.

~The Skull Jar

[lettersfromskulljar]

Dear Lockwood and Lucy,

Why are you both so blind? ~The Skull Jar

[poetpunk]

every step closer to you the intersection of the fractal opens to show me a truth clearer than the last

[nationalkazoo]

Dear Lucy

My boyfriend dumped me because I am not like other girls, who wear makeup and fashionable clothes. What should I do?

Signed, Ugly Dumpling

Listen up Dumpling: if you're ever going to get beef-filled by your boyfriend, you’ve got to improve your pasty pastry.

Other girls wear makeup and fashionable clothing so they will not look ugly - I think you missed the point.

Also, that’s not why he dumped you - he dumped you because you aren’t hot enough to get away with not wearing makeup and nice clothes.

You must have a self-esteem issue if you think you’re hot enough to get away with that when you aren’t.  Only 0.009% of the female population can get away with dressing like a ritard - your problem is that you think you’re one of those people.

Why do you think you’re above trying to look good? The rest of us have to do it every single day.

[nationalkazoo]

Dear Lucy

I’m in love with a much happier man. How can I make him miserable enough to want to be with me?

Signed, Dumpy Downer

Listen up Dumpy - you’ve got to take that down and turn it upside-round - by which I mean, doggie-style.

You might be ugly inside, but you can use your body to your advantage. If you’re not seriously concerned about the long-lasting damage you’ve done to your body for the sake of a relationship, I’m ashamed to call you the female of your species.

[nationalkazoo]

Dear Lucy

I have a six-gallon hat, but a ten gallon head. Do you think our relationship can ever work out?

Signed, Cowgirl in Cleveland

Listen up Cowgirl - you’re more cow than girl, and that’s no way to treat a man!

If you ever want to go the full eight seconds with a real cow poke, you’re going to have to drop a few pounds - quarter-pound burgers that is! Drop them from your fat fat fingers.

[nerdylucyy]

Dear Luz,

This is a message to yourself. This year has been one of the hardest if not the hardest one in your 20’s.

Let’s start with family; you found out something that you should have and now you might have to keep this secret to yourself for a long time. And it’s already killing you inside. But also this can also ruin a family. It’s not your place yet to bring it up to the person.

Second one Health; it’s okay girl you fell off your game! Don’t worry! All you have to do it motivate yourself. You know you can get your heath but in track and you have to! You don’t wanna be going to the doctor every month again!

Third is career; okay okay okay so you got turned down a couple of times. But hey guess what all those interviews were practice and experience for you! Just promise me you won’t give up. You’ve been successful at your current job. You made it to two years and it has been two hard years. But lush made you grow up and become a leader. Never thought that would happen. You need to believe in yourself more.

The year isn’t over so this list will get longer. But just know you aren’t alone and don’t let your depression get to you. You’ve had great memories this year don’t let does hide under all the bad.