for new viewers, im talking about my shitty ex-friend, u can blacklist “#dear shithead” so u don’t have to hear about this
tw for abuse mention and basically anything connected to that. i don’t go into any detail about the abuse, im just talking about my abuser and my current interaction w/ him, but the topic might be upsetting for some people so just be warned.
IT FEELS GOOD to confront shithead w/ other people who know hes a fuckin mess. he actually acknowledged today how hes a fuckin mess and how much he fucks me up. amazing. it was rly gr8 until the other people had to go and then i got fucked up again [mostly just panic of being only one in group chat w/ him] oops but not as bad as i used to be because i am now able to recognize when im getting fucked up and im able to abort in time to keep me from going off the deep end \o/
for explanation to viewers of why im talk to him again: he expressed genuine remorse and i decided to give it a trial period over the summer [he doesn’t know that, he seems to think ive just forgiven him] just to see what happens, and see if he actually is trying to get better or if he was just saying that shit to get me to come back. i will try to update semi regularly on how thats going.
hes v different from the last time i talked to him, and the circumstances are different. whereas he used to make me be very private about me knowing him, now hes letting me interact more with his friends [who are the ones who backed me up today and know how fucked up he is] and i’m definitely trying to be more in control of how we move forward. im being less forgiving, and if he upsets me or makes me angry im not blaming it on myself, and im calling him out when he does shitty things.
we’re still early on in this so i can tell hes still trying to be rly careful around me and try not to bring up sensitive topics that caused issue in the past, so we will see what happens.