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. . . . Now I just hear your voice and find myself closing my eyes and leaning into the darkness for warmth that I know is not there. And I imagine you do as well . . . .
2/2
Dear sweets,
It feels like the world is winning at a game that I do not know the rules of. But miraculously I am still playing. Today is especially hard. So hard in fact that I can't imagine us before this. What would we be doing now? I hate to think that things would probably never change. That it would still be car rides and text messages for us, but I will always want more. Now and then, I always will . . . .
1/2
. . . . It feels like you to just left, and it's still that day again. Like I'm still waiting for you to come back, and in reality I am doing just that. Waiting for you so I can say sorry and that I hate when we fight. Waiting for you to hop over my balcony again. And maybe when you do the words I'm sorry never leave my lips but I show you anyways, that I am sorry. And we will be lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and I'll take your hand and give it one small squeeze. It would say all the things I wish I could, in this one small gesture. And I am scared.
2/2
Dear sweets,
I find myself lying awake at night thinking of you. The way our bodies press together. The intertwining of our legs. The way your hands find their way into my hair. Your slow hot breaths on my cheeks. The way my hands rake up-and-down your arms. Pressing kisses to your knuckles, shoulders and nose. I feel complete. It feels like the moon is writing love stories about us. And I am so lucky . . . .
1/2
. . . .Your embrace still lingers on my skin, if i close my eyes it feels like you're there and all that i am left with is goosebumps. This is all I have left of you, this ghostly feeling. I wish I held you tighter. I wish I made you stay longer, and we could have laid in bed together. I wish I kissed you, so I could live in that moment forever. But I am too greedy, and I'm only left with this feeling. So I live in this moment, and you are warm and real, yet it is all so painful at the same thing . . . .
Dear sweets,
I hope you know that I love you with my entire being. And even though I don't always vocalize it best, I hope you notice it in the way I look at you or in the way I hold you, because it says all the words I wish to say to you . . . .
