My mum and sister don't think that T & I are currently talking. This is because my mother is the one that got my sister to tell T to stop talking to me.
And I don’t mean the “hey Leticia, we can’t talk anymore, I can’t see you” kind of stop talking to me. I mean the completely-ignore-her-without-explanation kinda of stop talking to me.
it happened on two Saturday’s ago.
But let’s talk about the events leading up to it.
On the Wednesday night, my sister had Showcase on at her school. Showcase is this event where families and friends come and watch students of the school perform dances and singing acts and such that they have been preparing for majority of the year. T and I went to watch my sister and his mates.
Everything was fine. After it I dropped Dev off at home, and then T, but as soon as we dropped T off, Kiara wanted to start arguing with me about him, saying that I shouldn’t be going back to him. I explained to her yet again that we were friends, just like her and him were (she doesn’t know he fingered me - not because I didn’t wanna tell her but because I just didn’t feel the need to tell people). She said that it’s just giving him satisfaction that I’m with him again. She didn’t listen to me.
By the time we got home we were yelling at each other. She was saying that it’s wrong of me to go back to him when they all (her and her friends and my friends) stopped being friends with him for me. I said she stopped after she had screwed him (yes, they had sex). She then told me that no, they dropped him after I was in hospital, and then I was the one to go back to him. I further explained that while that is true, she then became friends with him again, and she said because I went back to him. And I said I know that, and I never once complained she was friends with him again. I had no problem with it and then one day she decided to fuck him and stop talking to him. So I found it unfair that she was able to have sex with my ex and then get mad at me for being friends with him again.
We got home, she went inside first because I was frustrated, and then when I had come in my mum already knew we were arguing. She said “What’s going on with you two?” And I told her nothing. I went upstairs and as I was coming back down to get something I hear my mum said “Stop it with this T thing or I’m going to his house to talk to him,” and I said, “way to dog it Kiara.” Kiara turned around and said, “I only said it was about a boy. And anyway, maybe I feel close enough to my mum to tell her.” So I said, “Why don’t you tell her everything then?” (Mum doesn’t know that both Kiara and I have had sex, and she especially doesn’t know about that part with T.)
We didn’t talk for five consecutive days after that.
And because my mother was choosing my sister’s side, and because she didn’t wanna listen to me, I did what any teenager would do.
On Friday night I went to a friend’s house for his surprise birthday and was told to be home by ten-thirty. Instead I left there and went out with T & some other mates, and my mum was looking for me, even though I assured her I was fine and I’d be home. She was mad because I wasn’t home when I was told to be. I ended up getting home at two-thirty and she didn’t believe me when I said I was at macca’s with some mates, so I told her the truth.
She said “I’m going to have a talk with him. I can’t believe your sister stopped being friends with him for you and this is how you treat her.” I said, “You don’t even know the full story.” And I went to bed.
This all makes me sounds so spoilt and ungrateful, Aunty, and perhaps I am spoilt. I’m not ungrateful, though. I apologised the next day for what I did and asked my mum to sleep at my brother’s house that night. I ended up going to a party, to which she found out about and was messaging me for an hour about how I lied to her and how I have to come home. I ended up sleeping at my brother’s house anyway.
She brought up again, how my sister did this and my sister did that, and I said she doesn’t know anything about what happened between my sister, T & I and she never will because I will never dog my sister like that. She said she knows and I said “Yeah? What is it?”
On the Sunday, T asked me to go to his house to talk. That’s when he tells me that at the party he went to the night before that my sister was also at, she pulled him aside and told him to start ignoring me, that my mum doesn’t want him talking to me, that she doesn’t want him talking to me.
And the thing is, Aunty, that it sounds like she’s just looking out for me. And whilst my mother might be, Kiara is honestly jealous. She even told me when T and I started getting close again that she’s jealous, and that it might be because once upon a time she also had feelings for him. I also know that if any other boy had done to me what T did to me and Kiara had no feelings for said boy, she wouldn’t be going to this extent to ensure that he and I no longer communicate.
And that is why, Aunty, T & I are now even more lowkey then before.
Again, it sounds like I’m wrong, and maybe I am, maybe he is still the same, but trust me, Aunty, he has treated me a lot differently to how he did last year.
I’m more so upset because I give up a lot for Kiara. Last year, I shouldn’t have gone for T, because he was my sister’s best friend and we ended up having sex behind her back, but I told her two days later. She also apparently had feelings for him before then (but she ended up getting back with her ex), to which I had no clue of.
She was mad when she found out what happened between us. But later on down the track when he suddenly wanted my sister I was the one telling her to go for him. I ws giving up my happiness to let her be with him. She didn’t, but she did end up hoooking up with him (after asking me, and I said yes, putting my feelings aside), to which I cried about and pretended I was fine to her face.
This year, earlier in the year, she wanted to go for this guy that is like my little brother: PJ. He’s the sweetest thing and we have been friends since October last year. Kiara decided she wanted him. I didn’t want her to because I once had feelings for him (which she knew about), but she went for it anyways. I pushed it aside and let her be.
Then later on (didn’t work out with PJ for her), she decided she wanted to go for my best friend, Samiuela. I told her she can’t and she brought up that I went for T, so I pushed it aside again and let her be. It didn’t work out either, but they’re still good friends. He’s still my best friend.
So whilst I shouldn’t have gone for T, every moment since then has been about making sure that my sister is happy. I let her go for PJ, I let her go for Samiuela, I let her hook up with T, I even cancelled my date with T for her. I even remember this one time Kiara, T, myself and a bunch of other mates went to laser tag last year. At this point T was trying to get my sister and I kept telling her to go for him. We finished a game of laser tag and she came out and told me how in the game they were so close to kissing and that she really wanted to so I said “So do it” and she said “No I can’t” and I got angry because what’s the point of telling me then? So I told her to stop talking about it then, which made her mad.
I’ve continuously put my feelings aside to make her happy.
My mum and her don’t know that T & I still talk, although last night he called me on Facebook because he’s currently in New Zealand and my sister was sitting right next to me because I was showing her something on my phone, so there’s not a doubt in my mind that she saw that he called. She didn’t mention it though, and I’m not going to bring it up. I’m also no longer going to say that he and I aren’t talking if she asks me.
