It makes me really sad to say that I think we want different things In the end. When you were drunk and asked me what were when we first established that we were talking and that you wanted to be more than just friends, it came as a surprise to me. We were in the middle of our business and I was like, wow he must really want something more if he’s willing to just stop mid thrust LMAO. Honestly I just thought you wanted some ass. This may sound horrible but I didn’t even mind that. Cus honestly I kinda was too. But hey, looks like you were kinda interested in me. But, You yourself said you didn’t even remember asking me that or said it was a little hazy. it makes me wonder, do you even really like me? Was it because you basically lived with me for 3 weeks not sleeping one night apart made you close to me? Maybe. How else should I act after spending literally every day with you. Now that you’ve been moved in to your new place with your housemates, it’s me who comes to visit you. Since you can’t really come over to my place anymore. I feel like now, I’m the one that cares more. About what we are, how you are, if you’re eating, if you took your medicine. I don’t want to worry yet I do. We’re not even together and here I am stressing on he little things like if you like me. Since you got sick, I brought you gayoradeand medicine and tea and kept you company. Turns out it was pneumonia. I checked up on you, I was truly concerned about your well being. I really wanted you to see a doctor, sleep and eat even though you were totally against medicine and argued that you sleep all day anyway and sent even tired at night. I found myself worrying about your slowly likening you. Honestly you weren’t even my type. No one ever is. They usually grow on me. It makes me wonder even more of what we are. Are we good friends are we something. Are we friends or are we just fxcking. (With some side benefits of feelings and texting now and again) I knew you had some interest in me early on when you actually wanted to learn more about me. Like what I liked, my favorite foods, just my life in general. But now, I text you first. And not that I don’t mind putting in the effort, I feel like it’s pointless now. I mean, it’s nice, we connect on multiple levels, I swear we learned about each other all the time. During my place when you watched scary movies, or the fact that you like creepy shit in general. That got me. And your music taste is on point, but it’s the little things you do that I don’t like. I’m not saying that I want to change you but im saying there’s a time and place for everything. And idk if I can handle some of the things you do. Yea, if we ever have this conversation, you’d probably say something along the lines of, “man she couldn’t handle this, fuck it I don’t need that I’ll just find someone who’s down enough” and you know what? I’d be completely okay with it. You deserve someone who’s like you. More similar to your needs and interests. Everyone should have that opportunity to meet that someone who they can count on. And tbh idk if I can be that one to you, nor you the one to that for me. I don’t see us going anywhere which is clear in the answer you gave me when I asked you. Idk I’m emotionally tapped out rn. It can’t be helped. 2:53 AM feb21,2016.
