Feb 12
Me as a Blythe doll
seen from Switzerland
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Sri Lanka
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Canada
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Netherlands
seen from Netherlands
seen from Colombia
seen from Switzerland
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
Me as a Blythe doll
Dear Janey.
I've been okay lately, no screaming thoughts or other things. Only the nightmares are back but they'll drift soon. I'll see you again one day wait for me, I'm waiting for you C xx
Dear Janey
Today I feel a little mad, not the cranky type but the little of the bend kind. Shall we play with the flowers today? We can even stop to watch others feel the specialness of the day too, I think I would like that too. C x
Dear Janey
For today, I want to be the angel that you are. Can we pretend to walk hand in hand again and be the faeries we used to be? From C x
Dear Janey
Last night I went to a party, I had fun. For the first time in a while I felt for the night, albeit i couldn't feel anything when they touched me or I held them.. But its a start right?
"He's" excited today, things are working out better for him and us (kinda). He's gaining friends, doing more, experimenting even! He's even looking to get a tattoo, haha. Don't get me wrong this great to see, but it just reminds me how much we're from different worlds.. He's been brought up with life spun on the rim of gold and that life is his to tame, he's rules and home are so different to what I've had and you we're with me janey, maybe far away but you saw too, my life was built to grow and nurture the potential, not to tame or conquer. We're different and this may sound strange but it hurts..
I feel as though I'll be that fleeting moment, that shiny toy he keeps around until he gets bored, just so he can say he has me and no one else does. I'm okay with it (kinda), but it does hurt to love him more than he'll love me. I guess thats just another trinket to take from growing up, right? I spoke with Dad today too, I miss him.. I miss my family.. And the more I think about it, the more I don't want to be connected to "his" family.. I want my own, I don't want quantity I miss my quality family. I miss you.
I'll write again tomorrow or when my conscious has bursted and you're in front of me again
Yours truly, C x
Dear Janey
Its been, I think 11 or 12 years since they asked me to put you in the hot air balloon and sail away. Is the air crisp? I want to ask, do birds fly that high? Are there any angels? It's been too long since I've seen you, too much happened too soon when you disappeared. I could have used a great friend like you during school. They would judge you different mum said, I wouldn't have cared, I miss you. I'll be celebrating my 19th birthday this year, my only wish will be to see you again, or be in the hot air balloon you sailed away in.