Caroline answered the door and was surprised to see who was on the other side. “Dean.“
"Hey.” He said, with a small grin.
“What are you doing here?“ Caroline questioned her brow furrowing. “Not that you can’t be here, of course.” She added. “I’m just surprised is all.“
"We were working a case nearby, just a town over, and we don’t have another one yet, so I thought I stop by and see you while were in the area.” Dean explained.
Caroline smiled then. “For how long?“
"A couple days. A week, maybe.” He shrugged. “Until we find our next case.“
"And Sam?” Caroline asked. “Where’s he at?“
"Back at the motel. Said he’d be by tomorrow.”
“So, it’s just you and me?” Caroline smiled knowingly.
Dean stepped forward, invading her personal space. “Unless you have other plans today.“
"No plans.” Caroline said and reached for him one hand on his side the other going to the back of his head, pulling him down to meet her lips. “Definitely no plans.“ She breathed, their lips brushing.
Dean smirked before pressing his lips more firmly against hers, as he backed her back inside and closed the door behind him.
Caroline wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his, as their kiss deepened, as his hands that were on her hips slid down wrapping around her thighs, lifting her, she immediately wrapped her legs around his waist.
Dean carried her to room while their mouths slanted over one another, the door closing behind him as he kicked it shut.
_________________________________________
They laid spent in Caroline’s bed after thoroughly enjoying each others body.
"This won’t always be enough for you.” Dean said, twirling a strand of her blonde hair with his fingers. “I know you, you’ll want more than this.”
“Maybe.” Caroline agreed, drawing random patterns on his chest, she glanced up at him. “But it’s enough for now.”
“Good.” Dean smiled, pulling her up against his body, and tangling a hand in her hair as he captured her mouth with his own.
A bullet to the stomach. She could honestly say that she hadn’t been expecting that. The last thing that she had been prepared for when she ran into Dean’s motel room that night had been to leave with a gunshot wound. Caroline didn’t even try to hide the emotional and physical pain that she was feeling, that this man that she had loved so deeply had caused. The betrayal that she felt was evident on her pretty face, and her eyes were dark as she glared at him from just a few feet away. The gun was still on her, pointed at her chest now, and she knew that he was aiming to do serious damage now. She hadn’t been taking him seriously before. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. “I-I-I,” she stammered, unable to wrap her head around the flurry of events that had just occured. It had all happened so quickly. Her declaration of love had hardly even left her lips before he had pulled the trigger. “I don’t understand,” she finally choked out, the words getting strangled by a sob that was bubbling in her throat. “How could you do this to us?”
His eyes were cold as he watched her. She was trying to stand up, the force of the bullet having knocked her off her feet. She moved too fast for his liking, and he gestured at her hard with the gun, reminding her of who really held the power right now. Sure, she could take him down if she wanted. The whole super speed thing made that more than possible. But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t hurt him like that, could never be the one to inflict pain on him. She had thought the feeling was mutual. At least, until he spoke again.
I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh. I want to hold you high and steal your pain away. I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well. I want to hold you high and steal your pain. ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome and I don’t feel right when you’ve gone away. You’ve gone away. You don’t feel me anymore.
The lights of the dark room flicking on were worse than usual. It was almost blinding and Caroline hissed as the cover of darkness was stolen from her. She heard footsteps, and she knew that he was coming back for her. He always came back for her. She retreated farther into the corner of the basement, hoping for a few more minutes of peace.
“I can hear you,” the hunter sneered, walking swiftly towards her.
“I can smell you,” Caroline taunted in return, her vampire features rapidly taking over as he got closer.
Dean finally got close enough that the blonde could see him from her hiding spot and he leaned forward and whispered, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’ve been bleeding you dry for weeks now, isn’t it?”
Caroline glared at the man, lunging forward in an attempt to bite him. She craved blood. She hadn’t had anything to drink in days and every cell in her was screaming from hunger. As soon as she moved forward, though, he pushed her back down. Though starving her out was making her need for blood greater than ever before, it also made her weak. For the first time in their entire relationship, Dean had the upper hand in terms of strength and he wasn’t letting her forget it.
“Why are you doing this?” she growled out through gritted teeth.
Dean shook his head slightly, a sad smile on his lips and sighed. He pushed a hand through his hair and said, “I’m doing this because I love you, Caroline.”
She scoffed, rolling her eyes at him. “In my experience, you don’t torture the people that you love.”
Dean clucked his tongue, waving a finger at her. He sat down across from her, never taking his ever watchful eyes off her broken form. His eyes, eyes that had once been full of light and hope, were darker now; sadder somehow. “I told you when you first bit someone that I would find a way to fix you.”
Caroline nodded slowly, recalling the encounter. It had been just a few days after the death of her mother, and everyone had been watching her carefully, concerned that she was going to explode at any moment. She had been the picture of calm through it all, never a harsh word, never a tear. All of her friends kept telling her that letting go wouldn’t be such a bad thing, that crying would probably ease the pain that she carried with her daily, but she hadn’t listened. Everything, all the pain and torment, had remained dormant inside of her until she couldn’t take it anymore.
Attacking Sadie had only been the beginning of her downward spiral. Dean had been there luckily, and he had pulled Caroline off her sister before the damage was irreversible. She had fled the scene after that, and when he finally found her, she wasn’t the same person. In that moment, the hunter had sworn to his vampire lover that he would find a way to make it better, find a way to fix the bloodlust. It took ten vervain laced bullets to take her down, but when she was finally unconscious, he had taken her here, to Bobby’s and locked her in the basement. She hadn’t seen the outside world in weeks.
It had started out with just denying her human blood. Vampires could survive on animal blood, but it wasn’t nearly as satisfying or as beneficial. She was weaker after a week on the inferior life force, but still strong enough to overtake Dean during his little trips into the basement. It was then that he had begun starving her out, injecting her with vervain daily in larger and larger doses so she didn’t become accustomed to it.
Nothing had worked until then, and while the hunger ruled her mind most of the time, starvation forced Caroline to look at the choices that she had made recently. The loneliness had taken its toll as well, and she was slowly becoming more and more convinced that she was going mad. If Dean hadn’t delivered such a crushing blow to her temple when she tried to feed on him, she would have sworn that he was a hallucination.
So now she sat there, staring at him as he tried to force her to remember the moments when his love for her had beat out his natural instinct to take her life. The blonde could see through his façade. Pulling out memories was a cheap shot, the way that she had tried to pull Elena’s humanity back not so long ago. “It won’t work,” she told him. “Try to make me remember the words all you want, none of it means anything anymore. You can’t still love me after everything I’ve done. I bit your brother. I almost killed my own sister. None of that can just disappear.”
The pain that swept over Dean’s face was so quickly changed back into his signature smirk that for a moment, Caroline wondered if she had imagined the whole thing. “You think I don’t love you?” he asked, leaning forward. “You think that I like watching you scream and writhe in pain? Do you think this is fun for me?” he asked, screaming the last three words.
If she had been in a normal state of mind, Caroline might have had the decency to at least be afraid of his sudden display of aggression, but she couldn’t focus on that. “I don’t know what to believe anymore,” she answered, her eyes cast downward as the first honest words to leave her lips in weeks reached the hunter’s ears.
The feeling that overtook him in that moment was indescribable. Dean leaned forward, taking the blonde’s lips in his own, and she kissed him back like he was the release that she had been searching for. His hand tore at the flimsy material of the black dress that she had been captured in, revealing her alabaster skin. Her hands tore at his t-shirt, leaving the material in scraps. Her hands ran over his muscular form and she kissed down his neck, stopping when her lips were over his jugular. Her face started to change, the veins around her eyes bulging out and she turned away from him. If there was one person in the world that she couldn’t hurt, it was him.
As soon as she retreated, Dean pulled her back. His thumb ran over the features in her face that only came out when she wanted to feed and he knew that he couldn’t hurt her anymore. At least, not right now. He needed her as much as she needed him. He would never tell her, he would bottle it up until his dying day, but watching her destroy herself had hurt him more than she would ever know. “It’s okay,” Dean whispered, a single tear falling down his cheek. He turned his head away, opening up the vein in his neck to her. “Go ahead.”
Caroline’s eyes grew wide at the offer and she shook her head. “I’ll kill you,” she whispered.
The hunter bit his lip and fought back the onslaught of tears that threatened to spill over. “No you won’t,” he assured her. “You can do this, Caroline.”
She weighed her options for a moment, debating whether to actually go through with what he was proposing. Her hunger won out eventually and she tentatively bit into his neck, letting the blood flow easily into her mouth. She swallowed the liquid in gulps, crying as she fed. Crying for him, for her mother, for herself. And when she was done, she was shaking and he was holding her tightly. He didn’t look away from her face as he laid her down on the concrete floor. He kissed her, his own blood still on her lips, but he ignored the metallic taste.
Dean kissed the vampire for what felt like hours, his hands simply getting to know her again. Slowly, gently, the stripped each other of their clothing and when Dean finally pushed into her, they were both crying. Caroline’s nails dug into his back and he kept his movements slow. She didn’t know why he had suddenly been overcome with so much passion that he needed her right that moment, but she didn’t question it. She simply kept her eyes on his, whispering a constant stream of ‘I love you’.
When he collapsed next to her, spent from both physical and emotional exhaustion, she curled into him, falling asleep easily for the first time in weeks. And when she awoke, she panicked, noticing immediately that his warm chest was no longer under her soft cheek. “Dean?” she called out questioningly into the darkness.
A light flickered on, and she was afraid for a moment that it had all been a dream. But when she saw the dress on the floor and his torso marred with scratch marks, she knew it hadn’t been. “What’s happening?” she asked, suddenly realizing that her hands were bound above her head in shackles that resembled bear traps. “What’s going on?”
Dean’s tears were glistening with tears and his voice was as unsteady as his resolve. “You drank human blood, Caroline,” he choked out.
“You told me to!” she shouted, distraught at the sudden harsh treatment.
He shook his head, turning and kicking an empty cardboard box with so much force that his foot made a gaping hole. “I know!” he shouted. “I know I did, and it was stupid, and selfish. I just…I couldn’t see you like that anymore. I couldn’t know that I was hurting you. But when it was all over, I knew I made a mistake. You can’t just jump back to human blood. You have to ease back and I fucked it up. I blew it. I…I have to protect you from yourself, don’t you get it? And now, because I let you feed from me, I have to watch you be tormented all over again.”
He paused, looking up at her and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Caroline.” He walked over to her and tightened the shackles, the teeth of the instruments cutting into her skin as a burning cut through her. Vervain on the tips. Dean had thought of everything. She screamed in pain, closing her eyes as her mind became numb to everything other than the torture that she was enduring. The screams never ended and Dean took one last look at the blonde that he cared for more than his own life before trudging up the stairs to get away from the screams.
Warmed my body to the core just like a blanket. His face was so sweet that he took my breath away. Hit me so hard like a rock through a window. I knew I was in trouble from the moment that I met you, boy. Shoulda just called it like I saw it. Shoulda just called for help and ran like hell that day. The burn and the sting and the high and the heat and the left me wanting more feeling when he kissed me. Shoulda just called him “Whiskey.”
People obsess about all sorts of things. Some get taken with celebrities. Others focus on school work. Some people get addicted to substances. But everyone has got that something in life that they can’t give up. Caroline had known for some time now that she didn’t have a particularly addictive personality. However, that all changed when she lost the person who meant the most to her.
It had been a year since Dean was dragged to hell. Caroline had stood in the room and watched him get torn apart by hell hounds. Sam had cried with her for days on end, and finally, one day, the tears wouldn’t come anymore. Sam had been worried more about her than himself, and he had taken her to Bobby’s to try to get her away from all the memories of Dean, but he was everywhere that she went.
A year isn’t a long time to mourn. For years after the death of her parents, Elena had been grieving. Caroline wasn’t the kind to draw things out, though, and she knew that she couldn’t stay comatose for long. So before anyone thought that she was ready, she was on her feet and trying to find a way to bring Dean back. Sam had thought it was good for her to have something to focus on at first, but it wasn’t long before he started voicing his concern that she was taking everything too far.
“Care, don’t you think it’s time that we just-“
“Shut up, Sam!” she screamed, her eyes wild as she turned on the younger Winchester brother. “Do you think that Dean would ever stop searching for a way to get you out?”
“Okay, fair point. But come on, Care. You’ve been beating yourself up about this for months. You’ve done everything in the book. Witchcraft, prayers. Not even crossroads demons will accept your deals. At some point, you just have to admit that there’s not going to be a way to get him out of there.”
The veins around her eyes started to harden as she glared at Sam. “I am not going to let him spend an eternity in the pit, Sam.”
Sam sighed, throwing up his hands in surrender. They had been going around like this for weeks, having the same exact conversation. It always ended with Caroline demanding that they try something else, look at the problem from a different angle. But there was nothing left. Even she had to admit that it all looked bleak.
She settled in to bed that night next to Sam, tired from a day of poring over books and articles, searching for anything that she might have missed. Sam was fast asleep and it didn’t take long for her to join him. But almost as soon as she allowed herself to rest, she was sitting up, scared out of her mind that what she had just seen hadn’t been true.
She hit Sam as hard as she could, waking him. “What?!” he shouted, angry from the sudden attack.
“He’s alive.”
Sam’s eyes were wild as he tried to soak in the information that he had just been given. “What are you talking about, Care?”
“You said that praying was stupid, but it’s not stupid. You’re stupid and he’s alive. We have to go.”
Sam was still drowsy and barely understanding anything that she said, but he humored her, pulling on his clothes and following her out the door.
It took three hours to get from Bobby’s to the spot that they had chosen to bury Dean. The angel had said that he wouldn’t raise Dean until they had dug him up, and Caroline wasted no time throwing dirt over her shoulder until the metal scrapped against the wood box. She pried it open with her bare hands, not wasting any time, and it was as if taking off the wood that covered his body had woken him from a deep sleep. Dean was gasping for air and Caroline was sobbing for joy next to him, unable to believe that it was all really happening.
“What the hell is happening?” Dean asked. “If this is another hallucination, you guys are getting more fucked up by the minute!”
Caroline was scared at his outburst, but nothing could tear her away from him. “Dean, no. Kansas, it’s me. It’s Caroline. This is real. I swear it’s real.”
“Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before,” he scoffed.
Caroline knew there was only one thing left to do. His lips were covered with dirt and chapped and he really needed a shower, but she couldn’t hold back any longer. She pressed her lips to his and it was like she finally felt whole again for the first time in months.
“Care?” Dean asked, finally giving in to the notion that he truly wasn’t in Hell anymore.
“It’s me, Kansas.”
“You found me.”
“I will always find you.”
She pulled him into her arms and cried, sobbing and whispering her thanks to whomever had made this possible. The search was over. Dean was home.
I can’t help you fix yourself, but at least I can say I tried. I’m sorry but I gotta move on with my own life. I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much. My scars remind us that the past is real. I tear my heart open just to feel.
It had been just a few short hours since Caroline’s encounter with Allison, and she was still reeling from the news that she had received. Pregnant. Pregnant. It wasn’t sinking in. Every time that the word crossed through her mind, she felt sick to her stomach.
Her home was her only safe haven. No one would come looking for her, and that was just how she wanted it. She could curl into a ball and sob for ages, and no one would know it. She walked through the kitchen door, slamming it so hard behind her that the walls shook, and threw the books that she had so carefully picked up just a few minutes earlier onto the floor, kicking them out of her path as she stumbled to the couch. She sat there, legs curled into her heaving chest, for hours. Time was a foreign concept at this point, and all she knew was misery.
Her phone was ringing nonstop, but Caroline knew that it was probably just Sam calling to scold her for the interaction that she’d had with Allison earlier, and she wasn’t really in the mood for a lecture. She let it ring and ring and ring until finally it stopped. She didn’t move, not even to check the caller ID and when there was a knock on the door, she didn’t move to answer it. If it was Sam, he knew he could get in through her upstairs window. If it was Stefan, he had a key. But neither man walked into the living room, and it was Dean instead that had found a way to jimmy the door open and flounce into her house.
Her head barely turned to get a glimpse at the intruder walking into her home and when she saw Dean, she sighed. “What do you want?” she asked, bitter.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Dean questioned, a quiet anger seeping into his words.
“Dean, I’d really rather not do this now,” she told him, turning away and clutching a pillow tighter to her chest.
“Well that’s too damn bad!” he exclaimed, moving to stand in front of her. Caroline kept her eyes averted, not wanting to look and see the fury that was sure to run rampant across his face. “How dare you?”
She scoffed, not answering his question, turning away once again, only to have his hand grip her arm, pulling her gaze to his. “Don’t touch me,” she said, her voice low but full of venom.
He removed his hand, taking a slow step back from Caroline. “You want to explain why Ally came home in tears, destroyed from the conversation that she had with you?”
“Not particularly,” Caroline answered with an exhausted tone.
“Why do you even care what we do?” Dean wondered, his frustration obvious. “I barely even know you!”
Caroline’s glared at the man she had once claimed to love, knowing that his lack of memory of her was his own doing, and in that one moment, she forgot why she had taken them away in the first place. All she wanted was for him to stop attacking her, to understand that she was angry because Allison was getting everything that she had ever wanted. It wasn’t a malicious interference, it was jealousy in its purest form.
“I know you better than you think,” she said, standing up and taking a step towards the hunter. Her eyes took hold of his and her pupils dilated as she spoke one word. “Remember.”
Dean’s face held an indescribable emotion as the onslaught of old memories hit him all at once and he stared at the vampire before finally bellowing out, “What the hell was that?”
“I know you,” Caroline informed him simply.
“You messed with my mind?” Dean asked incredulously. “You took my memories away?”
Caroline didn’t say anything. He didn’t want an answer, he was just trying to understand.
“You had no right to do that,” Dean spat at her.
“It’s what was best for you!” Caroline shouted back at him.
“That wasn’t for you to decide, Caroline! You don’t get to pick and choose what people remember. Just because the things that happened between us hurt me, you think that I couldn’t handle them? You think that taking them away made it any better?” he screamed.
“I did what I had to do,” the vampire told him in a clipped voice. “I’d do it again in a second.”
“You stay away from us!” Dean told her. “From me, from Allison and from our baby. You stay the hell away from us.”
And with that, he tore out of the house, slamming the door shut on any hope that Caroline had ever had.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away
She had scrubbed herself clean a million times, and still she felt dirty. She was exhausted, but forced herself to keep her eyes open. It was the only way to keep the terrifying memories from haunting her waking hours as well as her dreams. The hot water washed away the tears that had not stopped falling from her eyes for hours and her hands were beginning to prune. How long had she been sitting on the floor of her shower, comatose? One hour? Five?
She heard the door to the bathroom open and close and saw a figure looming outside of the frosted glass, but she couldn't find the strength to open the door to her safe haven to find out who the intruder might be. She saw a hand lay against the barrier between herself and the rest of the world and felt his presence before his voice confirmed it was him.
"Care, please come out," Dean begged, his voice urgent.
She ignored the man, gripping her legs to her chest tighter. She rested her head against her knees, not making a sound, willing herself to die.
She heard the door to the shower slide open and saw his bare feet step onto the tile floor. He still wore his usual uniform of jeans and button down. His arms scooped her up and she fought his embrace as he removed her from the warm envelope of steam and water. She was weakened from the vervain, though, and he was resilient. He carried her into their bedroom, naked and dripping and laid her gently on the bed. She scowled at the hunter and pushed him away as soon as she was on solid ground.
"Do not touch me."
The pain that took over his features should have resonated with her in some way, any way, but she didn't dare let herself feel. Not right now. If she let any kind of emotion in, she would fall apart.
"Care, I need you to talk to me."
She scoffed, wrapping her comforter around her shivering form and rolling away from him. She heard him take a few steps forward and she sped to stop him. The veins around her eyes became defined and her fangs were bared. She had never showed Dean that side of her before. But then again, he had never betrayed her before either.
"I won't touch you. But I need you to talk."
She glared at the man in front of her. "You killed him. There's nothing left to say."
He sighed, gently rubbing his temples. "He was killing people, Caroline."
She felt the rage start to boil within her. "He was still Stefan! He was my best friend and you murdered him."
"He was a monster!"
"You're the monster, Dean!"
The words were in the air. She couldn't take them back, and they hung there between them. The truth hurt, but she couldn't forgive him. She couldn't let go of the fact that he had taken her best friend away from her forever.
Dean gaped at her, and she felt like he was miles away. Remembering the feeling of the stake piercing Stefan's heart, surely. And then suddenly, he was everywhere. He was kissing her and she was letting him. She kissed him with all that she had in her. All the pain, all the betrayal came out into that one kiss and when they broke apart, she was gasping for air. She pushed him away, standing up and walking to the door of her room, the fingertips of one hand pressed to her lips and the other grasping the blanket to her lithe limbs.
"We're going to be okay, Care."
She shook her head, tears spilling over for the millionth time that day.
"No, Dean. This wasn't the start of a new chapter. This was the end to our book."
Caroline Forbes was a princess in vampire form. Everyone in town expected her wedding to be the event of the year, and she was not one to disappoint. Even Dean agreed to let it be a huge blowout, after she had promised him that he wouldn’t have to do anything but put on a tux and show up. He wouldn’t have expected anything less from her, honestly.
The day of the wedding came faster than Caroline could have ever imagined, and she woke up that morning to a note on the pillow next to her. The outside simply read “Care” in Dean’s chicken scratch and she eagerly flipped it open to read what her soon-to-be husband had penned. “Meet you at the altar. I’ll be the one with eyes only for you.” The blonde smiled and whispered, “I’ll be the one in white.”
She lay back down, grinning from ear to ear and was about to roll over to get in a few more minutes of sleep when the door to her room burst open and Elena and Bonnie came bursting through the door. “Wedding day, wedding day, wedding day!” they chanted, bouncing up and down on her bed, before flopping down next to her. Caroline laughed and said, “In less than twelve hours, I’ll be Caroline Winchester.”
"Now that is a classy name!” Elena screeched. “Much better than Elena Salvatore.”
"Or Bonnie Gilbert," the witch chimed in. "You guys were meant to be, Care."
Caroline couldn’t come up with words to express how happy she was and so she simply let out a squeal and pulled her two best friends into a hug. They stayed like that for a moment, reveling in their last moments as three single best friends. It was the end of an age, but it was the beginning of the rest of Caroline’s life.
They all began to get dressed. Bonnie took control of Caroline’s make up and Elena twisted her hair into the perfect up-do. Even before it was finally time to pull on her wedding dress, she already felt like a bride. Bonnie held open the dress and Elena did up the million buttons down the back of her gown before arranging the veil perfectly into her hair. Caroline turned to look in the mirror and gaped. It wasn’t her staring back at her. A princess. She really looked like a princess. She watched her friends’s reflections and they both started to tear up and she raised a hand.
"Stop it! Both of you! If you ruin my wedding make up, I swear I will smite you."
The all laughed and Bonnie held up her skirt as Caroline slipped into her heels. She turned to her two bridesmaids, a goofy grin on her face and said, “This is it.”
"This is it," Elena confirmed. "Are you ready, Care?"
"I’ve never been so ready for anything in my life," she said.
The girls nodded and quickly slipped into their own dresses. They were form fitting royal blue strapless gowns and both of her friends looked stunning. Caroline grasped both of their hands and walked out of her room, and stepped out of the house, expecting to see the limo they had ordered waiting.
But instead of a limo, a horse drawn carriage was in front of her home. She turned to Elena and the girl smiled. “Dean said that a princess should arrive like a princess.”
It was Caroline that started to cry this time and both girls swatted at her arms. “None of that!” Bonnie said.
Caroline nodded, carefully wiping the happy tears away. She carefully got into the carriage and watched as the world went slowly by. This had already been the day of her dreams and it had barely started. She was snapped out of her reverie, though, when Bonnie screeched, “OLD, NEW, BORROWED, BLUE!”
"What?" Elena asked, laughing.
Bonnie ignored the doppelganger and turned to Caroline instead. “Do you have something old, new, borrowed and blue?”
Caroline thought for a moment. “Well, my dress is new. My shoes are Elena’s, so they’re borrowed.”
"But I said you could keep them," Elena protested.
"Shut up!" Bonnie snapped. "Do not ruin it!"
Elena laughed but said nothing else and Caroline continued. “My necklace was my grandmother’s, so that’s old. And my garter is blue!”
Bonnie let out a squeal of excitement and Caroline felt herself relax. Crisis averted.
Just then, they pulled up to the church and the driver helped the ladies out of the carriage. Stefan was waiting for them at the doors and he raised an eyebrow at the bride. “You’re late. Cold feet, Ms. Forbes?”
"Toasty warm," she shot back. "And it’s Mrs. Winchester to you."
Stefan rolled his eyes and said, “Well, they’re ready if you are.”
"We’re ready," she said.
Caroline’s mother quickly handed them bouquets of lilies and Bonnie started off the procession. They’d chosen a traditional wedding march, and as the doors opened, the music hit Caroline’s ears. She grabbed Stefan’s arm and smiled up at her best friend. It had only seemed fitting that he give her away.
Elena followed Bonnie down the aisle and then it was Caroline’s turn. She squeezed Stefan’s arm and he gave her a reassuring smile. They walked slowly and Caroline got her first glimpse at Dean. He was the perfect groom in his tux, Sam right behind him and Castiel on the next step. Caroline suddenly felt as if she couldn’t walk fast enough. She needed to be next to him, holding him, touching him. When they finally reached the front of the church and Stefan placed her hand in Dean’s, Caroline finally felt whole.
"You look perfect, Princess," Dean whispered as they turned to the minister.
"So do you, Kansas," she whispered back, holding his hand tightly.
The minister’s words were lost on Caroline. She was so focused on the man in front of her. He could say so much with a look. She held both of his hands in hers and slowly traced “I love you” over and over again on the back of his hands. When the minister asked if anyone objected, no one spoke and then Dean was giving his vows.
"Care," he said softly. "I love you so much. I always have. I always will. And I…I vow to try to remember to pick up my socks. I vow to stop only ordering burgers when we go out. I vow to hold you hair when you’re so drunk that you’re vomiting. I vow to watch The Notebook whenever you want, even if it’s for the millionth time. I vow to hold you when you cry. And I vow, from this day forward, to never stop loving you."
Tears were rolling down Caroline’s cheeks as the minister signaled that it was time for her to speak and she didn’t even try to wipe them away. They would only be replaced. “Dean,” she started. “I cannot believe that we went from flirting over tequila at The Grill to standing up here in front of all of our family and friends. But I couldn’t be happier that the rest of my life means a life with you. And I vow to keep surprising you. I vow to never sit in the driver’s seat of the Impala. I vow to keep you supplied with tons of pie. I vow that I will always be up for dirty kinky dressing room sex. And I vow that I will never stop loving you, even when the world is ending.”
Dean’s tears matched her own now and she could feel the urgency in the air. His lips needed to find hers. The minister sped through the rest of the service, and when it was time for the rings, Dean kissed her thumb, her index, her middle and her pinky finger before finally brushing his lips against the knuckle of her ring finger and slipping that white gold band onto her hand. She couldn’t get his own ring on his finger fast enough, and then the minister was ending the ceremony with their own personal twist on the traditional service.
"I now pronounce you partners in crime," the minister proclaimed. "Dean, you may kiss your bride."
And with tears in his eyes, he whispered, “Finally,” before his lips crashed onto hers, in a kiss to end all kisses.
And I was trying to disappear, but you got me wrapped around you. I can hardly breathe without you. I was trying to disappear, but I got lost in your eyes now. You brought me down to size now. I’m almost alive and I need you to try and save me.
Caroline had hardly left her bed in a week. She didn’t eat, she didn’t sleep, and Stefan practically had to force feed her blood. Her hair was matted, her makeup was smeared, and she hadn’t even changed out of the blood stained clothes from that night. She just lay motionless, clutching one of his shirts, trying to hold onto the scent of him.
Caroline didn’t move when the door to her room opened. Her enhanced hearing had already told her that it was Stefan that was entering her sanctuary, and she didn’t care what he had to say. He crouched next to her bed and whispered, “Care, I know it’s hard, but you have to get up.” Caroline rolled over, trying to avoid eye contact with her best friend. As soon as she settled, though, he was there, laying next to her, pulling her into his arms. “NO!” she screamed. “NO!” She pushed the older vampire away, using all the force in her weakened body. He shot out of bed, slamming into the wall of her bedroom. Stefan groaned for a moment and said, “Caroline, you’re going to regret not going.”
Caroline ignored Stefan, rolling over again, only to hear Bonnie and Elena whispering in the next room. “I don’t think she’s even cried yet,” Elena was saying. “I feel like we should do something,” Bonnie agreed. Caroline covered her ears, not able to cope when so many voices were in her head. All she wanted was Dean’s voice, Dean’s touch, Dean’s love. She needed him.
"If I go…will you all leave me alone?" Stefan turned as the words left her mouth and he nodded. "I can arrange that," he promised. Caroline sighed, standing up. "Let’s go, then."
Stefan called to the two girls in the living room, and they groomed Caroline like a doll. Washing face, perfecting her hair, pushing clothes on her uncooperative limbs. Finally she stood in the middle of her bedroom, freshly polished and primped, clothed in a black dress and heels. “Are you ready?” Elena asked gently and Caroline gave the smallest nod to her oldest friend.
The car ride to the cemetery seemed to take hours and when they finally arrived, Caroline was guided to her seat in the front row of folding chairs, right next to Sam. He reached over, taking a hold of her hand, and Care understood. Sam needed her as much as she needed him. In that moment, they were the only two people in the world that mattered. The only two people who would be forever changed by the loss of Dean Winchester.
The minister droned on and on and Caroline hated everything about this burial. A ceremony? Dean would have scoffed at the idea. Caroline only half listened until Sam was prodding her out of her seat. She hadn’t been prepared to speak. She couldn’t. If she said her goodbyes, it would all be too real. She looked back at Sam as an usher helped her to lectern that had been set up next to the six foot hole in the ground that would soon be home to her husband.
Her mouth was dry and her eyes were starting to water. She closed them, trying to force the tears back, just like she had been all week. She looked to Sam, then to Stefan, to Elena and Bonnie and Cherry and Matt. Encouraging faces in the crowd that told her she could do this. She took a deep breath and started to speak.
"Dean was my husband. He was Sam’s brother. He was a friend to many, a savior to some, and a gift to us all. And this is exactly what he wouldn’t have wanted."
Sam laughed at the honesty in her words. “He wouldn’t have wanted us to be here, gathered around his dead body, weeping and falling apart. He would want us to move on. He would want me to move on. But I’m not sure that I can do that.”
"Dean was…well, he was the love of my life. We had our differences. We fought over petty things, and he frustrated me more than I knew was possible, but I loved him and he loved me. I remember the first day that he said it, too. We were at the Grill, playing pool, and I had made some stupid joke. And he laughed and simply said, "I love you." And you know, he looked so shocked, almost as shocked as I was, like it had just slipped up. So he said it again, sure of himself this time, and then he kissed me, and I knew that I didn’t have to tell him how I felt. He already knew. I think he had known since the night we met."
Her voice started to shake, but she continued on, too far gone to stop now. “And when he asked me to marry him, it wasn’t a surprise. I felt like we had been married for a long time. So we stood in front of most of the people that are here today and we pledged each other forever. And I wish that it had been.”
"Dean’s death was a surprise to us all. The animal attack," Caroline choked on the words, the explanation for Dean’s death that the council had formulated tasted sour as they left her mouth, "was unforeseen. I wish we had chosen a different day, a different hour to visit the Falls. I wish it had been me. I wish a thousand different wishes. If only someone could grant them."
The first tear fell down her porcelain cheek and the second followed quickly after. The flow of saltwater from her eyes could not be staunched now, but she continued. She would not stop. “Dean will be missed. By his friends, by his family, and by his wife. But this is not how I will remember him. This isn’t right. I refuse to let this be my last memory of my husband.” She looked at Sam and he seemed to know what she wanted before she could finish thinking it herself. He ran away from the congregation and was back in moments, salt in one hand and gasoline in the other. Sam threw open the casket and salted his body as Caroline doused her husband’s corpse in gasoline. They both ignored the murmurs of the crowd, and Sam fished in his pocket, pulling out Dean’s lighter and handing it to the blonde vampire. Caroline flicked the zippo and dropped it into the casket. She turned to Sam and he put a comforting arm around her shoulders.
"Goodbye, my love," Caroline whispered, before allowing Sam to lead her away from the glow of the fire and into a life without Dean Winchester.
