Rewatching supernatural is so surreal. Like conceptually I KNOW where this ends. I KNOW Castiel revokes thousands if not millions of years of faith for this man whose only framework for love is being willing to sacrifice yourself. I’ve met the monster at the end of this book.
Even so, I’m absolutely floored every single time I’m reminded that Cas confided in Dean that he has doubts in literally the 2nd episode they interact. It’s just insane to me because yes, he likely has known of him all his life, but still, you never know how someone is going to react in a situation until they’re well and truly in it.
Cas knows about Anna, about Lucifer, about the fate of every angel who has dared to even think about disobedience. And STILL he sees this soul that he raised from the pit. Broken and tired and flawed and basically the poster boy for disbelief. A man that didn’t hesitate before shortening his name to “Cas”, separating him from God. (the suffix -iel means “of God”)
And he decides “yes, this is someone I can trust with a secret that could very well get me killed”
They make me sick to my stomach in the best way.