I need to figure out this partner situation soon. I mean, I've had a terrific, super competitive year. But my partner just isn't living up to his end of the deal, and I think I want out.
I didn't even want to debate with him, originally--everything about him as a person rubs me the wrong way. I'm not a huge fan of having a relationship with my partner outside of debate--it gets really messy should things go bad in your partnership--but I also need to feel *some* sort of connection with my partner. With this guy, I feel like I'm fighting the urge to be intensely rude to him all. the. time. I just don't like him.
Why am I his partner, you ask? I am his partner because the talent pool is incredibly small. I go to a tiny, tiny university. Even though roughly 10% of students participate in debate, few are upper-level debaters. Even fewer have the competitive drive that I do. So realistically, I had to settle for a less-than-ideal partner.
I tried making it work; I really did. But to be honest, we aren't on the same level. He requires a lot of assistance, and I just can't give it. I need someone who can hold his own, compensate for my weaknesses while playing to my strengths. This also works the other way around, but lately I've been doing all the compensating AND trying to work on my flaws as a speaker. It's exhausting. I dread rounds. Prep time is the worst--have you ever had to come up with material for two speeches? It's too much.
The worst part is in round, when he asks me to write down points of rebuttal for him. I am all for contributing to a shared rebuttal list. But I manage to write both my speech and my own rebuttal; surely he can do the same. Except oh, wait--he can't.
That said, I here is my list of qualifications for a new partner:
1. He must be male. I will not compete with another girl ever again. It's a sad truth, but girl-girl teams are judged by a very different rubric than guy-guy or mixed gender teams. Passion is mistaken for a loss of control, and you have a lot less leeway with your rhetoric. It's sad, it's sexist, and it's true.
2. He must be an experienced debater. No novices, even if they've already broken. There's a whole lot more to being a good debater than breaking.
3. He must be second speaker--DPM/DLO and whip. Extensions are my thing.
4. He must be decent-looking. I know this sounds really shallow, but my previous partner was unbelievably attractive. We made a fantastic team, and I like to think it's because we're so damn attractive. Also, eye candy during prep time is nice.
For all you non-debaters who are like, "What the fuck? Why does this even matter?", here is some perspective: debating with someone is like dating them or, more commonly, marrying them. You spend many hours each week together, practicing and researching. You spend weekends in hotels, trying to muscle through yet another tournament. You learn each other's quirks, like how one of you clicks his or her tongue when stressed. When you decide to end a partnership, it's the debate equivalent of getting a divorce. It's angry and messy and someone usually winds up taking it personally. You may even throw a trophy at someone's head.
