seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Italy
seen from Türkiye
seen from Australia
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Romania
seen from Sweden
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seen from United States
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As someone who has grown up in fandom spaces and has circled through a range of fandoms it’s really interesting when their impact comes out.
Like I am in the middle of my PhD but my special interest from a decade ago just twitched its leg and now that’s how I’m motivating myself to get anything done.
wfh_3.exe
07.02.25
It is truly astonishing how much joy taking pictures like this and studying can bring me. I feel like for the first time in a while I can do these silly things and not feel bad for not doing more, commercialising my joys. Tumblr is healing me compared to other platforms where you gotta keep posting and engaging or nobody will ever see you. I am sharing things because they bring me joy, and because I know others can enjoy them too.
In other news I have been able to read more papers AND to fine tune my algorithms for an upcoming experiment. It is so exciting I can’t wait if I am being honest, but taking my time to further understand what I’m going to do once I have the data is just as important.
weekend_1.exe
Went on a trip to another town yesterday to get a new tattoo. I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to stop working and go out. Yes, I love my PhD and my project. If I was able to work on it non-stop I probably would in some aspects. But that’s how burnout happens, that’s why so many of my peers started to resent their projects and topics.
I don’t want that to happen to me. So going away for a day trip on my own was fantastic. And I’m a little obsessed with my new tattoo as well ✨
phd_4.exe
I wish I could say that my PhD journey is not riddled with me projecting onto fictional characters whenever I feel stuck.
Working on code? I’m drinking too much coffee yapping to an AI like Tony Stark would.
Labs not working out? I go play viola badly like Sherlock Holmes would.
And honestly, it works. Why shouldn’t I channel the people who inspired to get me here anyways? I have so far been more motivated than most of my peers, and I’m pretty sure it’s the autistic power of maladaptive daydreaming that got me here.
wfh_1.exe
wfh_2.exe
phd_1.exe
Calling this 1 feels a bit wrong, since I have started my PhD a couple months ago now. But it is the first time I am talking about it here so I got to deal with it.
Starting a PhD in a wildly different subject than any of your previous degrees is both exhilarating and humbling. For one I feel like a superhero who is just switching around saving the city and writing some hot new gossip. But then I try to feel connected to my peers, join in on conversations, but I have no clue.
I am aware that this position is a result of my own choices (mostly), but every day goes between "omg I am a genius" and "omg how have they not realised I am a fraud yet."
Nobody is a stranger to imposter syndrome (actually my MSc supervisor was. But sure increased mine.). And I hate to be the person that is pointing the finger at herself, screaming "oh little poor me, my imposter syndrome is so much worse than yours!", but I want to acknowledge the myriad of reasons why I feel like this. Even if I compare my imposter syndrome to those of my friends and work mates.
HelloTumblr.exe
With the state of the world, the state of social media, the state of...pretty much anything, I fear for who I might become. Anxiety, uncertainty, they are nothing new to me, but usually I was never happy when they came crashing in.
Is this what people were always annoyed with? That their misery inconvenienced their established routine? I feel like an alien studying human nature, but then again neurodivergent people are often depicted as such.
The reason I have started this blog is quite simple: I want to have access to a form of social media and expression that is not necessarily going to be linked to the downfall of humanity. ( I cannot emphasise how funny it is that tumblr is not the downfall of humanity after all).
I am a yapper with a desperate need for validation, so here I am.
