A Short Comment on Deity Abuse (As Someone Still Reeling From It)
I read this post by Devo of @thetwistedrope, and have this response:
Deities have done this multiple times with me. I will have to write about it at more length when I feel more able...
But yeah, basically, human me is down on one level SCREAMING, and then other, “higher level” astral iterations of me (different layers of the “me” cake) are consenting to the thing and trying to re-integrate with my human level self to understand why this is happening...
So like... It hurts like FUCK. And in the middle of it, I am WIGGING ALL THE FUCK OUT WITH TRAUMA AND ABUSE TRIGGERS AND FEAR.... until at some point either my human self breaks and some conscious and consenting part of my soul calls “mercy” or uses a safe word and then human me crumples to the floor like wwwehh..... Or I have a major breakthrough of understanding some key thing in my life or of emotional healing.
But in the middle of it, it feels like abuse. (Because by human moral standards, it CAN be...) It feels like trauma. It ACTUALLY NECESSITATES sometimes the losing of faith, trust, love, etc. in these entities that are playing the big bad meanie in order to make that transmutation or integration happen. And that can HURT. That doesn’t just happen without emotional consequences-- in fact the emotional consequences are often the point of going through the thing.
And since we are multi-dimensional and complicated beings ourselves, we can understand (or not understand) what is happening to us on multiple levels of the same time (even if those perspectives are not yet integrated, where it kind of switches back and forth rapidly....) It is still highly uncomfortable, often highly painful.
This is to say that-- it’s SHIT. It’s at times worth it. Sometimes it’s not, or at least not now... Sometimes the deity knows exactly what they were doing, and sometimes they make a mistake... It’s complicated. It’s ambiguous. Gods don’t always fit into human moral structures. Consent at various soul levels can get complicated. It doesn’t mean we gloss over someone’s VERY REAL human-level pain when they are going through something like this. It means, sometimes, letting the “higher” level perspectives go and treating it as REAL HUMAN SUFFERING in ways that we understand-- that can need compassion, space-holding, and non-judgement.
And if someone is saying how a deity treated them badly-- maybe that deity DID. Even if they are your deity too and would never act that way with you. Even if you love them and they love you more than your heart can fathom. And maybe that person will eventually come to some other perspective of the situation and want to forgive that deity. ALL OF THESE THINGS should be okay if we are to treat our fellow devotees and spirit-workers with respect.
