CW: I'm venting about a toxic relationship I just got out of. You don't have to read. I just needed to let it out.
I love waking up to my ex calling me crazy when I was only ever nice to them afterwards and my biggest offense was trying to reach out to figure out why they were ignoring and blocking me an hour after reaffirming they loved me and I was important to them.
Sorry my trauma response was to call you repeatedly when I didn't understand.
You had a trauma response similarly to a previous time but I'm crazy?
Then to have them constantly talk about me, in front of me, and actively attempt to isolate me from everyone else that was around me? And expect no retaliation??
I tried the high ground. I tried offering peace and understanding and my hand and open avenues for communication. I tried to smile through everything. I stopped trying to reach out to give you space. And you continued on. And on. And on.
So now I'm pissed. Now I'm spiteful. Now I'm hurt. Someone I let in is using my weaknesses against me and I'm calling their bullshit out but I'm crazy, apparently.
I'm so fucking crazy for not understanding and wanting to understand.
I'm so fucking crazy for sobbing over someone who doesn't deserve all the love and support I gave.
It's not crazy to display pain or try to reach out.
Sorry for having a BPD episode that you caused and calling you for 2 hours.
Fighting that shit is hard.
But dealing with you lying and actively going after me even after I let it all go is fucked.