Guys, I would die for Bakugo and Deku's dynamic like WHAT THE FLIP FLAP PATTY WACK Hori did an entire flipparooney with their character dynamics literally in the beigining Deku wouldn't kill anyone but for some frui- I mean ODD reason he is okay with killing someone for BAKUGO????!!! and bakugo the person who would rather bathe in a tub of snakes while covered in mouse sent than socialize would rather DIE than have deku be hurt??????????????? like WHAT???? and not to mention that when in danger the person who has come to save bakugo EVERY TIME throughout the series is Deku.... like what the heckle??????? remember ya'll they're "enemies".
Katsuki sighs and reluctantly holds out his arms. Smiling, Izuku embraces his warm body. The two quietly hold each other until Katsuki finally asks, “Better?”
Izuku leans up and lightly kisses his chin. “Much.”
Bakugous bedroom is bare, except for a bed with grey blankets, some weights, and a desk with all his schoolwork and a corkboard with a calander and some school stuff pinned to it.
But in his closet there are a bunch of boxes tucked away where no one can see them. Hes filled them each with different things he’s embarrassed about.
One has all might memorabilia in it.
One has momentos from his friends, a receipt for a drink he bought for one of them, a napkin from when they had ice cream
One holds small rocks or bits of debri from battles he’s been in, including a tiny glass jar holding a small drop of the sludge monster the police missed. he found on him when getting undressed that night. Every item has a date on it, who he fought against, and who was fighting with him
(He has a chunk of rock that chipped off Kirishima while they were practicing one day but don’t tell Kiri that he would never shut up about it)
One holds photos of friends and family
One has books he’s embarrassed of, like anger management books that have singed edges from him getting mad at it or himself
But buried way in the back, in a box he can’t reach without pulling everything else out first, there’s a photo from when he and deku were children, before he had his quirk, grinning with their arms around he each other, the All Might card he got when he was with midoriya, and a small notebook
After he and dekus fight the night of the hero license exam, when everyone else is asleep he pulls out all the boxes and gets the photo of him and Deku out and sits on the floor just looking at it
He wishes he could go back and change what he did but he knows he can’t.
He’s so used to being angry all the time even when he wants to be nice he can’t seem to get it out, let alone get out the words to discribe his feelings
He pulls the notebook out last and opens up to the first page and looks at the letter he wrote to deku the night of the sludge monster attack, reads the words ‘shitty nerd’ and ‘sorry’ before skipping past it, skips past other short notes and letters his written in the past year to different people when he doesn’t know how to say his words out loud
He pauses at the most recent one, one to All Might, face heating up in shame and anger at the tear stains that blur some of the words, and skips past it, ignoring the shaky hand writing and trying not to think about the guilt and pain he was in while writing it
On the blank page he begins to write another letter he’ll never send.
He writes to deku, writes about how he’s felt his whole life, the fear of deku looking down at him, his anger at him improving as quickly, at his sudden closeness to the hero they both loved so much as kids, about the regret and guilt he holds from the pain he inflicted onto deku
about the feelings he’s had for him as kids, about not understanding the feelings until recently but not knowing what to do, anger being the only thing he seems to know anymore
When he’s done he’s written more than he ever has before, thoughts and emotions filling page after page.
he would never admit it but a few tears mark those pages
He sits there, shaking a bit before he stands packs everything up and puts it all back where it goes, wiping away the left over tears on his face and goes to bed
As time goes on he finds he has more emotions than he ever thought he could have
While the anger is still there, it’s a smaller part of him than it’s been in a long time
He keeps writing letter to people, nearly every other night, still too embarrassed to show much emotion, and before he knows it he’s filled the whole book
And if a second notebook has found a home under his mattress where he can reach it easier when emotions hit him, no one needs to know
It’s been forever and day since I posted one of these. I can’t believe I we’re over 1k! For those who are new, WELCOME! This is a BakuDeku safe space. If you have art or a short story, please feel free to share it with me!
There’s a new chapter for my story “Not Without You.” Here on tumblr, it’s teen and up audiences, but on my AO3, for those who are 18+, they can read a spicier version. To read the story on tumblr, click here. For AO3, click here.
The sound of a loud explosion echoed through the training room of U.A. The students watched as an intense light detonated before them, igniting a fiery ball of yellows and oranges, billowing upwards into a large cloud of smoke that blocked their target. A few screamed from the sound, covering their ears from the deafening sound and blocking their faces, awaiting the extreme and violent reaction that followed. The ground shook, breaking apart under their feet.
Uraraka, despite the ringing in her ears, lifted her feet in the air, touching as many people as she could around her to lift them out of harm’s way. She called out to Izuku, who had jumped into the air, levitating above the debris from the eruption. He used black whip to catch a few students—Aoyama (who graciously thanked him by batting his eyelashes) and Mineta who was caught flying from the initial blast.
“Shinsou, stop him!” Izuku yelled, but when Shinsou’s binds reappeared from the smoke, the ends were completely burned. Shoto put up an ice wall to protect Mina, who had become slightly injured from the initial attack; Momo had made several grenades of her own, throwing them at the unseen, unmarked target. The sounds of the grenades echoed across the training facility and for several seconds, it become completely silent. Izuku landed his feet on the ground, looking into the large cloud of smoke with the rest of the class. Concern itched across his face, but he didn’t move. The classmates that Uraraka had lifted into the air were released, crashing down to the quaked floor.
“Did—did I get him?” Momo said, panting with her gashed cheek beginning to bleed profusely.
“Not quite.” growled a voice. Katsuki Bakugou emerged from the smoke, his body completely untouched, completely unscathed by any of their counter attacks. His clothes were rags that limply hung from his body. In his hand, he held one of Momo’s grenades. Looking shocked and angered she moved towards him, but he pulled the pin and crushed it before it discharged, but before it could do any real damage, he inhaled deeply the tiny pop through his fingers. He slipped his hand into his pocket before smiling menacingly at his classmates.
Aizawa emerged from the smoke as well. “That,” he said in his monotoned voice, putting a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder. “—was an ultimate move. Both offensive and defensive. The rest of you could stand to learn something from that. Good work, Bakugou.” He added under his breath, “You scary little shit.” but walked away as the smoke from the room cleared.
“Damn, Bakugou!” Kirishima said, running up to his friend. “That was awesome, you totally could have killed someone!”
Katsuki exhaled a hot breath. His body was completely spent from that move—his quirk would need at least an hour or so to regenerate. He shivered slightly, and Kirishima handed him his jacket that he had tied around his waist. He covered himself, not used to the cold. Still, he smiled: his hard work at his work study agency finally paid off.
“It’s detrimental,” Katsuki was warned by his mentor. “So be careful where and how you use it.”
Katsuki studied incredibly hard, watched video after video of bombs, studying all of his notes on how they worked, even asking a few of the teachers countless questions to turn himself into one. It finally paid off—in truth, he felt a little badly that some of his classmates had gotten hurt, but he had told them he was working on something, an ultimate move that would put him well-above the rest. He watched Uraraka help Iida to his feet; he watched Tokoyami’s Dark Shadow discuss strategy with him; he watched Mineta try and sneak up on Hagakure and Jiro put him in place. His eyes wandered around the room and shifted entirely when he saw a bit of green hair poke up from the rubble.
Shit! he thought, No! Don’t look! But it was too late. Izuku’s hair was always a mess—the curls weaved themselves into a tight knot atop his head. Izuku hopped up, Katsuki could see in his periphery that Izuku used a bit of float to leap himself up onto the platform.
Directly in front of Todoroki.
Anger flared inside of Katsuki. He silently just watched from afar as Shoto’s arm had extended, touching a light scratch on Izuku’s forehead. Katsuki was out of heat entirely after the training, but he could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ears as he watched Shoto’s mouth gently touch Izuku’s.
Fucking bastard, Katsuki thought, not sure who it was directed at, himself or Shoto. The two pulled apart quickly and then chirped on about something Katsuki couldn’t hear. Shoto looked in Katsuki’s direction like he could feel the intensity of Katsuki’s gaze in his periphery and smirked. He wrapped an arm around Izuku and kissed his forehead again before lightly brushing his finger across Izuku’s nose and kissing him again.
“If only I had killed him.” Katsuki whispered. Kirishima gave him a knowing look and Katsuki was almost thankful to see Kaminari running up to both of them.
“Way to go, man!” Kaminari forced Katsuki to avert his eyes. “You looked like a real bomb, I thought you had blown yourself up, for sure!”
“That’s because you’re a moron.” Katsuki said.
“Get cleaned up, we’re doing Tokoyami’s ultimate move next.” Aizawa informed the class. “Bakugou, sit this one out.” Katsuki opened his mouth to argue, but Aizawa just held up a hand and said, “I swear to God, if you say one fucking word, you’ll sleep outside.”
Katsuki shut his mouth, not sure if Aizawa fully had the authority to do so, but the short break gave him a moment for his quirk to return.
And it also gave him an excuse to watch Izuku. Uninterrupted.
Until his phone chimed. Another match? he asked himself as he looked down at the notification: he’d downloaded quite a few dating apps, but really had no interest in pursuing another relationship after the failed attempt with Izuku a little over a year ago. It didn’t matter really—most people knew these apps weren’t for dating. Not that he’d want to date any of them. Once he turned 18, there really was not stopping him. His taste varied from girl to girl (“Woah, you’re back to being a closeted gay? Does it count as being closeted if everyone already knows?” “Shut the fuck up, Yoyo, just help me make a profile. Aren’t you gays good at this sort of thing?” “You’re one of us, asshole!” *dodges attack from Katsuki* “ONE OF US! ONE OF US!”).
A pretty girl appeared on the screen: I T ’ S A M A T C H! Katsuki refreshed him memory of who she was, swiping through the pictures on his phone of her—a local girl who went to a college not far from where they were. She had soft features and long hair that covered most of her face. Her slim waist held an enormous rack, but he wouldn’t have matched with her because of that. As he flipped through the pictures, he didn’t remember swiping right on her at all.
Until he got to the one picture where he could see her eyes. They were a deep, forest color that stopped him in his tracks. They were clearly contacts as he noticed her eyes in the other pictures were bluer. But this picture—they were a bright, grassy earth tone.
“Damn, she’s hot as fuck, where’d you find one like her?” Kaminari said, looking over his shoulder at his phone. “Those can’t even be real! What’s her name?”
“Don’t know.” Katsuki said, shooting her a quick message: Dtf? “Don’t care.”
“You could at least act like being an adult is hard for you.” Kirishima said. “I’ve barely been an adult for a month and it honestly sucks ass—,”
A response from the girl: At least take me to dinner and a movie first! He rolled his eyes, but messaged her back with: Only if you wear those green contacts. He waited a few moments before he got a picture message. The girl had one of her eyes closed, but the other wide-open and so perfectly green. The contacts looked a little different in this lighting, not nearly as bright, but it would do. Good enough for you? He smirked and responded: it’ll do.
Kirishima and Kaminari exchanged looks before one of them told him, “Alright, man, I mean, as long as you’re staying out of trouble and you’re happy, then have fun I guess.”
Katsuki put his phone back in his pocket, ignoring his friends when Sero and Mina came over. Instead, he looked over at Shoto and Izuku. Shoto’s arm was still wrapped around Izuku’s waist as Izuku punched the air and laughing in his little awkward way and Uraraka ran over to him, the two giving each other high fives and jumping in the air. I’ll never be happy. Katsuki thought, a quick flashback crossed his mind—a clear image of Izuku looking out at a perfect beach sunrise. His green, unkempt curls tousling in the wind, his freckles darkly splattered across his face. As if in slow motion, Izuku’s body turned, showing Katsuki a smile that he would kill to see again.
Now, over a year later, Izuku smiled for someone else.
I’ll never be happy again.
---
Izuku crashed onto his mattress after the long day of combat training, completely spent. Especially after that crazy attack from Kacchan—
NO! he warned himself. It hurts, don’t think about it. But it was hard not to admire the dedication of Katsuki to push his quirk like that. It must’ve taken so long to learn it, let alone master it the way he had. Katsuki was willing to go through all of it for the sake of pushing his quirk to the absolute limit.
He was willing to go through so much for you, too.
After Izuku’s failed relationship with Katsuki, Izuku needed to take some time for himself. He had thought about Katsuki often, even tried to see him outside of school hours just to talk, but Katsuki wanted nothing to do with him. Frequently, the two would pass each other—Izuku could feel Katsuki’s heat of his quirk. He’s still upset. He wanted to call out to him, to talk to him, but after several attempts to do so, he came to the realization that Katsuki had moved on from him. He also left campus every Friday and rumor had it that he was meeting other people. He tried to not listen to such things and focus on his current relationship, but his mind went back and forth until he finally rationalized the breakup: “I would have loved you had you been kinder, Kacchan.” Izuku knew he was intense, feeling things so deeply that at first Izuku mistook the intensity for passion—but the flame that held their relationship together didn’t hold for long enough.
“Dammit, stop!” he yelled into the pillow he placed over his face. Izuku took his advice and to distract himself, he scrolled through his phone, rereading some of the more recent messages from Shoto. It read things like: In a world full of darkness, you are my beacon of light. It made Izuku smile at least, despite the text being as cliché as it was. His relationship with the youngest in the Todoroki member was (using no other word for it) perfect.
Shoto was the ideal boyfriend. He was insanely smart, extremely perceptive, not to mention incredibly handsome. His body was slim, but toned, his muscles outlining his slender frame. His duo-chromed eyes made Izuku weak at the knees, despite having an almost naturally nonchalant gaze to them. He was gorgeous, split precisely down the middle. The curtains also matched the drapes, which didn’t surprise Izuku too much, as his pubic hair was a deep green and tangled up like the madness that sat atop his head. Shoto was sweet to him as they hardly ever argued. And when the two did start exclusively dating, it didn’t take long for them to start exploring each other entirely. They hadn’t had sex yet—Shoto said he wanted to at least wait until after graduation, which Izuku respected.
The two spent the weekends together most of the time. After seeing Shoto’s mother would head to his home, eat with his family and when they were alone, would kiss each other, touch each other a little, fooling around before falling asleep next to each other. It was a routine and Izuku couldn’t help but feel that Shoto had penciled him into his mental schedule, sectioning off a piece of every Saturday for Izuku.
Izuku’s eyes became heavy as he scrolled through more lyrical lines of clichéd poetry Shoto had sent him. Sleep pooled at his eyelids, dragging them down in slow blinks. His breathing slowed, inhaling and exhaling deeply, soothing him with each rise and fall of his chest. With each blink, he was entranced by a dream: arms lightly wrapped around him, soft breaths in his face and Izuku knew he was asleep too. He…? I’m alone. There was a feeling of permanent warmth that surrounded Izuku. His eyes would suddenly open and Izuku was alone, back in his room, but then doze off, back into his luxurious, comforted subconscious. Izuku was fully awake here, not feeling tired at all. Strange…I know I’m dreaming…Izuku turned his body, and closed his eyes, kissing the forehead lightly of the man that held him.
“Hmmm?” a gentle response that echoed in Izuku’s thoughts. It was a deep sound, but lazy and resonated through Izuku. He couldn’t make out a voice, nor a real figure—just a shadow entity that encased around Izuku, overtaking his thoughts and feelings.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Izuku heard himself say, being fully submerged underneath a hard weight, not being able to tell if it was physically or mentally heavy.
“Sure you didn’t.” the voice said, a tone of sarcasm. There was a light kiss from the shadows in the dark room that Izuku was brought to. Lips plump and wet, like kissing a misty cloud. Izuku raised his hands above his head. Pin me down…Izuku thought loudly and suddenly, two hands pushed him into the bed, holding on to his wrists in a bind. Izuku gasped. Can….can I control this dream?
“Oh, you like that, huh?” the words seemed to ring in Izuku’s head when the man said it, but the kissing didn’t stop. Izuku opened his mouth, their tongues slipping along one another.
“Mmmm…” Izuku groaned loudly, running his hands through his rough hair before sliding his hands down the sides of the body that lay above him. This feels so real. Izuku panted hot breaths. His heart pounded hard against his ribcage. The two fooled around, explicitly exploring each other’s bodies.
“Tell me you want me—,” he heard a voice growl at him.
Is that….? No, it can’t be…
“Deku.”
Izuku’s eyes opened instantly, sitting up straight up in his bed. Beads of sweat dripped down his face, his temperature rising substantially throughout his body. He frantically searched for his phone and once he had calmed himself, he did a couple minutes of research until he came across the words “lucid dream.”
It was the first time he’d thought about Katsuki—really thought about him—in months. No, not him. Izuku thought. Not him. Not now. Not after all this time. But he couldn’t shake it.
