#delicious lulz

[after-the-ellipsis]

'DOLLAR IN THE METAPHOR JAR.' 'I am in jail and have no access to my bank account and also I was speaking LITERALLY, damn you.' But it is too late. The jar is already being shaken under his nose by Price and Zeller, who have materialized out of nowhere and are performing the traditional celebratory dance. They're wearing silly hats.

WHY WAS THIS NOT SEASON 2? What do they do with the metaphor jar once it’s full, Swan? Do they donate the proceedings to the NEA or what? Take themselves out to a giant (cannibalism-free) dinner? Give that metaphor jar a year or two, it’s going to put everybody’s kids through college.

[after-the-ellipsis]

stalana making wrap dresses mandatory.

Stalana makes wrap dresses mandatory. Stalana collectivizes agriculture and insists the farmers start raising peacocks. When the first famines hit, she benevolently acknowledges her miscalculation by allowing the farmers to eat the peacocks.

[after-the-ellipsis]

i guess will can be recycled as butler in her summer dacha and spend his days scrubbing the floors. giving back to society and so on. or else it's siberia for you boy.

Maybe Will won't mind Siberia. Plenty of elk there. They'll make him feel right at home.

Stalana's way too paranoid as a tyrant to employ reformed criminals as her housekeeping staff, c'mon! That'd be like rehabilitating Hannibal and employing him as cook! Stalana keeps her friends close and her enemies...in Siberian labor camps.  

[after-the-ellipsis]

If Stalana purges anyone first it'll be Hannibal, followed closely be Jack ;)

Stalana would most certainly not purge Jack; she needs people like him in the labor force. Maybe if he behaves himself, proves himself a supporter of the state, she'll permit him to enter the secret police, as long as he agrees to wear a wrap dress. He'd look fab.

(Freddie Lounds might get purged. She asks too many questions.)

[after-the-ellipsis]

can't wait for the great purges. will graham will be the first to go.

Aww, Stalana wouldn't do that! Maybe she'd just send him somewhere to get reprogrammed so he'd be a contributing member of society again.