#dem.txt

[demdozeguys]

waiiittt I'm not on twitter *grows one angel wing and one devil wing and flies into the sunset

[demcrazymandolin]

Nick: Jay, you were so wasted last night at the party

Jason: I wasn't that drunk

Nick: Yea you were, you called a taxi home

Jason: Yea it's called being responsible

Nick: Dude the party was at your house.

Jason: .....crap

[cocoaliqueur]

AGAIN,, 👁👁

[demdozeguys]

*homer simpson realizing his soul will remain trapped within the grand orb for thousands of years unless he can prove his worth in reincarnation* D'oh!

[demdozeguys]

I was gonna post something like "my serpent misses you" but people would think that's a dick joke and penis got cancelled in 2016 for faking his tax bracket and I don't want my humble serpent to deal with that

[demdozeguys]

King Dedede is a character in the Kirby franchise popular among lesbians,

[demdozeguys]

your battery being on 80% is basically 100% but if it gets to 70% that's basically 50% which is basically dead

[demdozeguys]

Steampunk Regular Show

Rigby, wearing his most sprocketed hat: guys, check it out! THE most advanced flying machine this side of italy! The Ornithoptron 5000!

Rigby then pulls the start chain like 5 times and nothing happens. everyone laughs

Skips, wearing suspenders and overly designed goggles: Why does your flying machine run on diesel. It's unneccessary weight addition

Mordecai, normal: Yeah dude just take the dirigibles like everybody else

Rigby, still failing miserably: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He pulls the chain one more time and it finally starts but the wings instantly break away and fly off into the nearest tower chimneys and explode