#demonized asks

[demonized-infodumps]

People are supportive of DID until it stops being cool and interesting (and that's if they don't straight up say it's lying for attention).

They're supportive until:

- you constantly contradict yourself

- you show less 'fun' signs of being traumatized

- you're not the alter they want to hang out with all the time

- you engage in self destruction and don't remember it

- you're too 'out' about being a system and it's attention seeking

- you're not out ENOUGH about being a system because you owe them explanations for why you're like this

- the persecutors are not immediately healed

- your symptoms become an inconvenience and you're triggered

- way more

Anyway THANK YOU so much for this blog, cluster b and personality disorders and dissociative disorders and so many more are SO demonized just for us existing. ily /p

I'm glad we can provide a safe space for people to just be themselves.

[demonized-infodumps]

i fear looking for a DID diagnosis has been so traumatic that im giving up.

i know ill get fakeclaimed more often for not wanting a diagnosis or that people will see me as fake for being undiagnosed but atp i don't care. i don't wanna see a psychiatrist, psychologist or neurologist ever again. they have only done harm.

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[demonized-infodumps]

i have bpd and npd. this guy i'm in a kind of situationship with keeps talking about his ex and it PISSES me off like nothing else. i'm so much better than that fucking freak why would you even bring him up oh my god. we aren't even dating and i'm so ridiculously jealous it makes me unbelieveably angry

i get jealous over my friends too so this isn't totally shocking. bpd and npd is a horror combo that i suppress but im constantly so pissed off all the time. why even spend time with someone else when you have ME?? charity work or what? back to the guy it's like holy shit dude. please read the room why even bring him up when you have me

he's been getting drier too and its just. i cant do it bro. he says im better than him but im about to gun someone DOWN if he doesnt stop talking about him. i hate feeling this way because i know if i express it i'll be the evil manipulative bpd stereotype. not once have i ever been able to be honest about it and it sucks. i say he won't stop bringing him up but it's only really been 3 times but jesus fucking christ just shut up

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[demonized-infodumps]

I've had an okay handle on my intrusive thoughts for a while but the STUPID sexual intrusive thoughts keep coming back and they're so hard to "let pass by". And I feel like I can't tell anyone that I have intrusive thoughts about. like.

"getting out of the shower with a towel on is trying to seduce your father" or "you looked at someone's baby picture and you saw their genitals, you're a pedophile. or if you purposely avoided looking at them, it's because you can't control yourself and you KNOW you're evil." or not being able to masturbate because my brain thinks it's incestuous to do that in the same house as my sister.

Ugh. Idk. I needed to tell someone.

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[demonized-infodumps]

Regarding OSDDID...

Its all well and good saying systems aren't evil, or bad, or messed up, that's true, but I hate it when they act as if we're all innocent babies. I'm not. I don't like myself for it but I'm an alter within a system and I nearly ruined someone's life just to protect us because THAT'S MY JOB. idc if it was bad of me. Well, I do but like I don't feel remorse. Wouldn't do it again but still.

And I'm not even the only one on the system who's like... "wrong". Loads of us are, I neither can nor want to list them here. But like... One of us is a frequent fronter but he's a paraphiliac and he can't goddamn help it that his whole purpose is to hold that issue for us, but nooo, he's not allowed to talk because he's "evil" and "it's bad for our image" FUCK OFF! he's allowed to exist and so am I and so are ALL OF US.

Way to make it worse yk?

- 🌑

- 🔥🧷 <- hope you don't mind if we claim this one as an anon tag? It's ok if not

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[demonized-infodumps]

“I’m so delulu” motherfuckers when I genuinely believe im not real and there’s eyes in my skin and I have to tear open my own skin to get them out

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[demonized-infodumps]

short lil rant but me trying to articulate my dissociative/schizo symptoms to my mother as a child and her going "either you're taking for attention or need to be in the psych ward" ooohhh okay im being threatened with implied violence

and she wonders why i don't tell her anything as an adult

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