#denvercountdown

[dorito-live]

Day 68

Immersing my mind- Again and again- Unable to fully grasp Drop your jaw Unveil to me the universe- Again and again- The sight is ethereal, Effervescent, Cherished by me. Preeminent to all- Your love- surreptitious- But I do not revile With a diamond tongue Departure- inevitable- Posthumous existence- unachievable- Trumpeting my own love- Again and again- Immersing into the universe- Again and again- Unable to help it- Alluring- charming- Enchanting- tempting- Immerse into your embrace, Immerse into your kiss, Hold me evermore- Even miles apart- We will rekindle in the universe. So clamp your jaw shut- Contain the universe- Let us descend into oblivion For just a while more Because oblivion is infatuation, And I am immersed in infatuation.

[dorito-live]

Day 86

We’re in Jesse’s jeep and You squeeze my hand because I’m looking away And I squeeze back to let you Know I’m okay when really I’m choking back tears as the Lights smear across my window. And I’m not sad. And that’s the problem. I am so ecstatic to be in That jeep, Jesse’s sketchy driving and all, Hand in hand with you, Music blasting, and Sierra laughing But I can picture this scene All too clearly in my head Except these lights aren’t of Mo-town, they’re of Weed-town And you three are the exact same Happy go lucky kids on their Way to adventure, except this seat Won’t have me in it. I don’t know what will be here But that doesn’t matter. What matters is how much I wish I could be in that seat for you. How much I wish I could be riding this adventure with you.

[dorito-live]

DAY 87

[dorito-live]

Day 88

I gave into desire today And it turned into a bloody mess I made choices that I usually wouldn't And I'm quite displeased with myself I am embarrassed and self loathing And extremely self conscious I love you no less though And today doesn't really change anything I just can't get it off my mind And on a brighter note, I discovered your name today And discovered your eye lashes I like the way your name sounds And how it feels on my tongue I like the way your lashes are dark And frame your bright eyes in perfect contrast I made poor decisions today And fell more in love with you none the less

[dorito-live]

Day 89

I don’t know what to say right now But I can’t stop crying And my stomach is growling But I’m not hungry And I’m yawning But I’m not tired And I haven’t felt like this in forever I forgot what crazy felt like You make me feel so sane, That’s crazy, right? I want to tell you about how I was never suicidal. I never tried to kill myself, But when I was sick, I begged God to kill me all the time And I would think dumb shit like, “Take me home” “I just want to go home” I don’t even fucking believe in God. But as I’m sitting here- Hiccupy cries shaking my body In a sensation so familiar It makes me disgustingly nostalgic- I can’t bring myself to think “I want to go home” Because I don’t. I don’t want to leave. I want to be with you-you are my home All I need is you. I wish you were here so I could tell you this I’ll write it instead Though I don’t know what to say right now Because I’ve stopped crying And I’m actually a little hungry

And I love you.

[dorito-live]

Day 90

Hickeys Kisses that sting Your lips caress my skin Little reminders that you care Love bites

[dorito-live]

Day 92

The book is safe on your dresser You fear your hands can’t protect it, But heed me while I digress, sir

My love for you is no lesser Than the first time the flame had been lit The book is safe on your dresser

Prized, it is your greatest treasure A pedestal is where it sits, But heed me while I digress, sir

The book to you, the same pleasure As I feel towards you, I admit The book is safe on your dresser

I feel as if I must stress here: I’m afraid I’ll cause our next split. The book is safe on your dresser, But heed me while I digress, sir

[dorito-live]

Day 94:

I have had four years Now you are leaving the state Karma is a bitch