#depressing stuff tw

[starfish-central-blog]

I can pretend to be happy In fact, it's all I ever do

[scenetaery]

i'm in a depressive mood today don't mind me

so today it's the one year aniversary of my grandad's death and it's very weird how it feels like a long time ago but at the same time i often forget he's not here anymore like idk sometimes when i go to his house i just expect him to appear on the door waiting for a hug or something what is even weirder is how i was totally fine when i started writing this but now i'm crying because i really do love him, so so much and i can't believe i got so little time with him idk i wish he had been my dad i wish i could say hi to him one last time i wish i could hug him and feel his soft shirts he always wore and i feel like i'm going to miss him forever because he left such a huge mark on my heart and now he is gone and i don't know how to fix this i really don't think i can to be honest??? it's just those kind of things you carry forever

this is so sad lmao i'm so sorry