#depressing text post

[nhum]

Mermaid wraith tower

Mermaid- What are you looking forward to? 

Uh....Halloween, probably! Thinking of running a one shot murder thingy in world of darkness for eve/anyone else who’d want to play. Also it’s just a Good Holiday.

Wraith- Any scars? 

Lots! The biggest one is on my wrist, from the time when I stuck my arm through a glass door. Pro tip, don’t do that.

Tower- What is (at least one thing) something that you’re afraid of? 

God I sure wish I had an answer to this that isn’t Depressing. Like I could tell you that spiders freak me out or something like that but the truth is I’m terrified that I’m not a good person, no matter how hard I try to be, and that I’m only capable of hurting people.

[nhum]

gotta love anxiety attacks out of nowhere

pls someone kill me

[nhum]

thanks mom i didn’t have enough to hate myself for blame me for the fact that momo won’t eat yeah that’s great

[nhum]

i shouldn’t have listened to the adventure zone. it was the only thing that kept me happy for days, sure, but it’s just another reminder of what i’ve lost. i want to write up a campaign (world of darkness, instead of d&d, but still). i have an idea and it would be fun but it doesn’t matter. there’s nobody to play. there’s nothing to be done. it’s just another reminder of what i’ve lost.

so I baked cookies all day. if you don’t think about it it can’t hurt. but baking is /worse/ because baking was Cale’s thing and for a moment I was back in their kitchen listening to dumb jokes or music or whatever show they were interested in and happy. for a moment everything was fine but then I was back in my too cold house with just my ipod and isolation and mom’s expectation of this should be fun.

everything hurts and i’m just so tired of being alone.

[procastination-maximisation]

Moving sucks

I’m currently between houses (staying with family) and there’s something so depressing about it. My possessions are all just in boxes or bags and my social life is basically non-existant. I’m just stuck in limbo.

[nhum]

man I love being sad for no reason

[muuggleborns]

I really just want to move out of my small town and get away from my constricting family and just hit the road headed east with the limited money I have in my pocket, finding odd end jobs and forgetting everyone I once knew and becoming a new person. I need freshness in my life, not being attached to anyone at all and just wandering. I don't even care anymore I'm so tired I'm just so tired I'm tired

[nhum]

I cannot believe I’m almost crying because of a fucking world of darkness game this is pathetic. I’m just so frustrated and sick of these players and god why do I keep doing this