#depression talk

[yourlocalavian]

More Wise Words with Avi:

Whenever you feel your depression starting to flair up...

...watch Bluey

I. DON'T. CARE. THAT. IT'S. A. KIDS. SHOW.

It's sooo freaking good and hecka emotional for a kids show, and it always somehow makes my depression go away for a bit lolllll

So yeah.. do what you will with that knowledge 😂

[thomtrebond]

am v tired of being unhappy

has been pretty ghastly year and i think things Will get easier once i've had a break between terms (m a n i f e s t i n g)

it's my first year teaching year-round atop all the Life Events things and that in itself was probs inevitably going to drain me

but am just v tired of baseline state being "waah whaa :( :( sad :( lonely :( tired :( fearful :("

is v boring!

and i'm v grateful for lots of things this year too

but i'm just at the point of fatigue where i can't CBT my way out of feeling so sad all the time, bc i just don't have the stamina to push through the Retraining my Brain to focusing on those good things rather than just feeling like i'm just floundering in the rising water of my own unhappiness

and that's only gonna change when i've rested a bit

which is soon!

but it's a big couple of weeks to get through first

120 assignments 2 mark

1 conference paper to write

1 conference to get through

1 end-of-term meeting to get through lots of travel to get through

but then i see Friends !! and i sleep in and i go zzz zzz zzz !! and no one can stop me going zz zzz zzz

[tr85n]

Hey everyone Update 11-21: Feeling somewhat better, not as tense and hopeless as yesterday.

Things are bad, really bad in the mental health department. I promised myself not to put negative personal things on my blog, but there's no denying, I feel as though this year or the next will be the one in which I end my life. Everything's falling apart, I'll never be fully independent, will never have an actual paying job, I get no joy from my hobbies anymore, I'm lonely and can NOT for the life of me connect with people in real life. I'm afraid for the future too. Why am I even writing this? To let the feelings out, I guess. And people have a right to know, in case someone will one day notice I haven't been online in several months or longer. I'm sorry.

[tenkuwunotouma]

i am having a Bad Time tonight, so i am going to write a gentle affirmation to hopefully divert some of these bad feels*.

ok! so, your shame is lying to you. it is okay to exist. you have a place in the world by dint of existing in the world. it may not be the place that you want, but it is yours.

the space that you occupy is a positive space. you have touched every moment that you have been involved in. i won't try to be snappy & positive; im not sure i can manage it. however, i think that if we can just accept that we exist as we are, within the world as it is, we can get ourselves to a neutral attitude. a neutral attitude is something we can build upon, slowly but steadily. shame and judgement are not.

and before somebody comes at me for being ~negative~, i believe false positivity is even worse. forcing it makes it worse.

* atm, i'm not sure how many of these things i can actually get myself to believe rn, but gdi, i am trying!

[diphowell]

depression talk below!

i've written a variation of this post 6 times and kept deleting it 'cause it's too dark too personal too whatever but

i rewatched daniel and depression and it's so scary that he'd go out without his phone and not telling anyone where he was going at a time where at LEAST phil would've known he was struggling.

and as someone who used to have a propensity to disappear when i was depressed, and as someone who's had friends disappear in a similar way, it's just so fucking scary. it's scary that he didn't have a way to reach out to someone at any moment. it's scary that phil couldn't figure out where the person he loves most was when he knew he could be a risk to himself.

i just want to hold them both because depression can get so fucking scary and it ripples out to those you care about. and it's not your fault but it never really heals for anyone. it can only get better in the moment.

[tomorrowandtomorow]

that feeling when you've lived your whole life through a haze of despression and anxiety, had a realization that your life was gonna suck forever if you don't get your shit together 2 and a half years ago and actually started taking getting better seriously, consequently feel like you're a 24 year old baby who just spawned on earth with almost 0 life experience and now you will forever be playing catch up with your peers while simultaneously pretending like you're so normal about everything :))

[aquareegia]

i've been feeling super low the past weeks again. apart from the usual family issues, anxiety and the connected self loathing, a big part of it is also the weather. i swear i have reverse seasonal depression, summer makes me want to die fr. the relapse thoughts were and still are strong, but i did not do it. i'd love to say it's because of my mental ✨️strength✨️ but truth is that i just don't even have energy for a relapse.

[tr85n]

Yeeeaahhh it's that time of the year again where Treen apollogizes for not doing anything regarding answering questions with neato art or producing drawings in general. Depression has me in a chokehold as usual, so.. see y'alls in better times, hopefully.