#depressive rants

[astralzucchini]

I took a hot bath because I thought that would make me feel better, but I couldn't get the water hot enough. Only the fires of hell are hot enough to cleanse my soul

[polysexualplant-blog]

man, today sucked. and then my friend came over and then we had fun, and then she left. and now it sucks again.

[peachznscream]

Don't read unless you wanna hear a teenager whine about their life

Wow I have no idea where I stand. I feel like I am sad and shitty but I'm not even sure what it feels like to be depressed or happy anymore. I realize so many things going wrong with my life but if I fix them I'll probably be more miserable. I'm so tired of feeling wrong and unloved and looked over and there's not even anyone I think of when I need help or I wanna tell about my day and eveything that comes out of my mouth is srong and wow. I never cry but I've cried every day for the last two weeks and there's nothing telling me that it'll be okay and I just don't see the point. I didn't want to be this low again but I guess since I"m here I might as well enjoy my stay. If I *hypothetically* killed my self or got trampled by a hoard of cows or something, I don't think anyone other than my parents and maybe girlfriend would bat an eye. I'm no one's favorite or number one and everything I do is wrong wrong wrong and I'm so sick of it. I'm only human but everyoine expects so much from me, and when I try to do mybest, I never get any recognition. I'm not good anything, I'm not special, I'm going anywhere. At least my hair's rad and I listen to good music

[gingerkenn]

I keep wanting to give up on everything. In all areas of living. I'm getting tired of myself. I'm annoyed I can't be fun or have the courage to do things or be myself without feeling the anxiety, self conscious or like the world is better than me and looking down on me. I need change. I want to feel good about myself and stop screwing things up. I want someone to love me for me and care and take the time just to spend time with me. I know thats asking a lot but I just need a break from all this crap.  I'm not happy with myself.