When I told my mom that we dropped some serious dinero on a doula, she asked, "What is a doula?" The literal translation of 'doula' is 'servant,' so in essence, we have hired someone to take care of me throughout my laboring at home, at the hospital, and post-partum.
The DONA website defines the word further:
The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.
Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they breastfeed more easily.
So basically, a pro will be there to make sure Jay and I don't freak out entirely and toss-out all the learning, information and knowledge passed on to us by other couples at Natural Resources (a clearinghouse of pregnancy, birthing and parenthood info here in SF), friends who also just gave birth, and books we've read throughout the past 8 1/2 months.
Kathy Woo, our doula, is not only a birth and post-partum doula but also a Certified Depth Hypnosis practioner, so part of her package includes a hypnotherapy session with me to get to the root of any fears, anxieties... general energy blockage that could get in the way of a positive birthing and mothering experience. My session with her was intense but incredibly interesting and again, I turned to my good ole friend, THE BREATH, for navigation, support and rooting.
A few things I've learned about myself these past few months and that have come out of my sessions with Kathy (and have come up in discussions at Natural Resources with other expectant couples):
- I don't want to have the same kind of birthing experience that my mom had. She gave birth in the late '70s, when they were still using that twilight anesthetic that made women lash out and go crazy when they came to after the procedures/birthing. My mom told me that they had to restrain her because she was clawing at the nurses. Sounds very Steven King to me and I want no part of that!
- I would really like a non-medicated birth. I hate having drips, being hooked up to stuff. It's just not my thing and I feel really confined and limited when I'm hooked up to something. So as much as possible, I don't want meds to keep me numb.
- I am aware, however, that anything can happen. And I may turn into silly putty and cower with fear at the first sensation of a contraction/surge and scream for an epidural. So I am not entirely opposed to it, but I would like to go in having faith in my own mind and birthing body. As they say in birthing class, if you can make it, you can birth it.
- As Ina May Gaskin said, my baby birthing orifice (and everything in there that's part of the whole birthing tag team) is not a lemon. It was made by my Creator to thin, stretch out, open. I am a dancer, after all, so I know how seemingly stiff body parts can actually loosen to stretch and allow great, beautiful things to happen.
Unfortunately, our doula has laryngitis so our prenatal visit with her tomorrow has been moved to this weekend. Get well soon, Kathy!
Meanwhile, I am trying to stay focused on the tasks at hand: getting as much as rest as possible (um... is that possible when we just moved into a new apartment?), watching as many movies as I can with Jay (Shrek, Robin Hood...), spending quality time with my girlfriends (we are planning on watching Sex and the City 2 this Saturday - yay!), and watching as many YouTube videos as I can on diapering, caring for a baby boy who has just been circumcised (ugh, this is for another post, my feelings about circumcision), how to swaddle, how to bathe a newborn, how to install a car seat properly.
So yes. This mom without a clue has to get a clue pretty soon!
