#derau

[kristinzervos]

(Derau)

[rumput]

Absence

I haven't really written anything long nor particularly personal in quite a long time.

Now I know why.

I've found myself to only really write when something troubling happens to me. Something blue. Something saddening.

But I've also found myself choosing not to feel for the past few... weeks, I guess. Or maybe even months. I'm not so sure.

Perhaps I've succeeded in setting up my mind to be an optimist. An asset-based thinker. Perhaps my mind has been set to as far as ignoring any possible bad thing happening in my life.

Perhaps I've succeeded in understanding that regret is a useless concept. And because it is, I haven't found anything much to write about.

Has my life been boring? Not at all. But has it been particularly, exhiliratingly, overwhelmingly exciting? I can't say yes to that either.

Perhaps I've just put too much padding in my life. If we think of life as a wave function, then one might say that my life's oscillation has been dampened.

I don't even know whether I'm using the correct physical terms, but whatever.

Perhaps I've stopped the dampening by now and I'm just refusing to get much-needed sleep.

Or perhaps, I just miss going nuts.

Come to think of it, it's a good thing my girlfriend's weird. *kabur*