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someone asking me about gutter-punk: derek has a kid dave? where is he what is he doing
me: 2000 words on the subject
me asking myself about gutter-punk: where is this story going
me: LMAO, fuck IDK, what do you think i actually plan this out
God fucking damn it I love Derek. I want to write three full length fics about him. Jesus fucking Christ.
The more you cling to needing to be a "good person" for you to have any value in your own eyes, the shittier you're going to end up being to people, the more regrets you're going to have in the end, and the more you're going to end up hating yourself.
I'm still super bummed that Derek went from my favorite portrayal of a gentle Dominant who knew what the fuck he's talking about to forcing Dirk to shoot a guy :< I had FAITH. And it got shot down like the poor guy in the chair. Keep up the good writing though!
Man, I know. A lot of people were really happy that Derek was a pretty good guy at first and when I read those comments I was just like 😬 I am so sorry.
I hope at least that it’s worth something that he’s not a 100% terrible, asshole-all-the-time dude, ‘cause that’s always disappointing to read. I like making my horribleterrible characters human and likeable at least part-time.
I MEAN, we’re gonna see some more actually supportive Derek down the line but it’s definitely gonna go back and forth. We’re gonna see this kind of stuff again. ):
Hi there! I read your latest chapter of gutter-punk and I was wondering if you had done more insight on Derek and how upset he us with Dirks crying? I felt like Dirks reaction was normal but Derek seemed unhappy with it.
Hoooly shit. You have no idea how psyched I am to get questions about something I wrote. This is amazing. I’m sorry if I ramble a BUNCH because I usually have a lot to say about this stuff and (this might be poor writing/planning on my part, but) this kind of helps me work out what’s going on with him too because I don’t always know what’s going on with a character when I’m writing for them I just kind of write what makes sense for them and everything else falls into place.
I definitely 100% do have some insight into Derek. The way I write gutter-punk, I try to restrict it completely to Dirk’s point of view and in that way the stuff that we see in text isn’t always a completely reliable insight into a character. For instance a lot of how Dave is in the first few chapters we see him is only based on Dirk’s perception of him, which includes all the expectation Dirk built up since he was a kid and Dirk’s view of Dave’s typical “Dave Lalonde Brand” front. Derek is the same way. He’s emotionally closed off and hardened and Dirk doesn’t know much if anything about his backstory, what Dirk sees- and what we’re given through text- is unreliable, baseline, because it’s mostly what Derek wants Dirk to see, or how Derek is acting to try and convey a particular image.
Which I hope explains the complete flip from Derek being a trustworthy dom that gives Dirk advice and offers some stability to Derek kind of being a stand-in for Dirk’s dad and bringing up all the old abuse shit that Dirk left back home/had hoped to completely leave behind after his dad died.
First of all, I’m definitely going to be writing Derek as an abusive figure. Derek already said this chapter that there’s going to be a next time and there are going to be more instances of the same treatment. However, the way that I like to write Bro Strider (and, in this fic, Derek Straight) very heavily leans on the whole concept of the antagonist being the hero of his own story (in a way) and gray alignment. Essentially: A bad person can still do good things, a good person can still do bad things. A bad person can look like a good person to some people and look like a bad person to other people, the same with good people. That’s just kind of how people work, IMO. And I’ve played with the same thing with Dave, too. (Kicking Dirk out after the one night stand, not remembering Dirk’s name and not seeming to care, driving drunk, etc. None of this necessarily makes him a bad person, but it’s shitty stuff to do.)
Derek is a walking contradiction. He berates people for being closed minded and prejudiced, but he refuses to take advice, lives by his own rules, and is more than a little misogynistic (and has this whole hyper-masculinity mindset to top it off.) AAND he insists that he doesn’t care about Dirk beyond having someone to fuck around with, doesn’t want anything close to a romantic relationship with him, but he essentially saves his life and then goes out to clear up the problem Dirk made for himself of his own volition. By carrying out multiple hits. Which he wasn’t paid for or asked to do. After he retired from the whole hit-man lifestyle.
And then decides (without asking Dirk) that he’s going to teach Dirk how to survive the way that he had to survive - by casting off his empathy and embracing carelessly killing people either as a way to protect himself or make some money in a world that demands you have all of this “experience” (which you have to pay for) to get by. Derek says he doesn’t want anything involved with Dirk, but then goes out of his way to essentially adopt him and try to pass on all of his get rich quick schemes and survival expertise. The way Derek sees it, he’s teaching Dirk how to survive, live, and advance in life.
The reason, specifically, that Derek was really shocked by Dirk’s outburst is that I think he assumed Dirk was exactly like him. He sees himself in Dirk a lot (which is funny because haha Bro and Dirk are the same person) and while he understood that Dirk was having a hard time nutting up to do it, he was pretty confused by just how upset Dirk got. On one hand he was super uncomfortable because he didn’t know how to handle it/what to do with someone that’s crying like that (if it was a dom/sub thing that would be easier for him to do but in this case it’s different) and on the other it was sort of a moment to realize that Dirk isn’t cut from the same cloth as him.
(Which also lends to some thought about Derek taking up BDSM and the Caring Dom Role in an effort to feel closer to/connect with people more BUT I’ve already gone on enough today.)
I can't find ur info page on mobile so idk if I'm stepping out of like but I want u to kno that I fucking love gutter punk ok. I started it awhile back to catch up, stopped, and reread the whole thing and I LOVE it. The way you characterize Dave is honestly so much better than usually done??? Like it's great. He's still dave butnwith a little more alpha class thrown in and it's 👌🏻👌🏻. I love the backstory behind dirk. I love how he's not like a stone cold dickhead who can't be hurt-
he’s like, human. And it’s great. I also fucking love your roxy I would die for her RIGHT now right now she’s still so great and good and well written and she’s my 2D she’s amazing and writers NEVER give her the justice you do!! Also bro is great whilena total cock but in a good way for readers u feel? I fuckin… love ur story. Love it. Love ur writing. I literally want to gush at/with u for like ever
You’re not stepping out of line at all! I love asks like this anytime. :]
I’m glad you enjoy it! I’ve been having a little trouble writing recently due to some real life stuff and I know there was a pretty big gap between the last two chapters, so I’m happy to see a few people are still happy to read it and see more of it.
Alpha Dave is pretty fun to write given all the space you have to make your own characterization. I try to write him the same as Dave with a few adjustments. I take a little inspiration from a few Alpha Dave fics that I’ve read (which I’m happy to link if you guys would like, though two out of the three I can think of off the top of my head are actually Davekat fics) and from when I roleplayed him a little while ago.
Dirk’s characterization is what I’m a little less confident in; I’ve been struggling with him a lot lately, especially in gutter-punk. In gutter-punk especially the focus in Dirk’s characterization is mostly in anxiety, depression, and coping with a solitary and sorta shitty upbringing. Sorta Dirk’s ideal self v. coming to terms with how he Actually Really Is. (I.e, a dysfunctional kid.)
Roxy I haven’t done much with! But I love her and I’m gonna try and do what I can with her. Rose too, hopefully. Though we’ll see about that. I’m happy people are liking her, I’m seeing a lot of people gunning for Roxy. C:
Bro/Derek is another character I’m really proud of, similar to Alpha Dave. I’ve really refined my personal characterization of Bro and I’m pretty set in how I write him.
ANYWAY. SORRY TO RAMBLE BUT- TL;DR, thank you so much I really appreciate it. It means a lot to me.
I love Derek and I missed him.
While we’re talking about Derek’s character, this is an actual copy paste of a whole bullet from my outline for one of the upcoming scenes:
Derek is like. Ugh. Emotions. Okay.
That’s all, folks. That’s Derek any time emotions happen.
