Prologue ~ Derek's POV
How did I end up like this?
The others just left the library, leaving me alone with Father and that human. The pauses between each heartbeat are getting longer, a clear sign that they don’t have much time left.
“You know how to do it.”
It wasn’t a question but a fact coming from him. How am I supposed to be sure how to do it if I’ve never done it before?
“I do not know how,” I find my voice and tell him.
“You saw me turn the others into vampires.”
“Just because I saw you does not mean I know how to do it myself.”
“You have never needed to have things explained to you in order to do them.”
Have I had any other choice?
“I still believe this is not right,” I try to change the subject.
It would seem like my father didn’t hear me, but that’s not true. He only chooses to remain silent while taking out a handkerchief from his pocket and starting to clean the face of the human.
“Why is that seeing someone in this state doesn’t affect you one bit?” he asks me as he cleans dirt and blood from their face.
I’m not Jeremiah. I don’t have the immaturity to still see humans in an emotive or affective way. I can’t afford that.
Although, if I’m honest, even with myself, I would have to admit that even after all these years, I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that humans come and go. I would have to admit that one part of me, however small it is, freaks out seeing a person like this and screams for me to do something.
But I will not do it.
“And just because it affects me, I should turn them without knowing if this is what they want?”
“Is it better if they die?”
“Only they can answer that.”
Because I know there’s something worse. And is someone who’s suffering by their mere existence.
“Have you thought of the possibility of them ending up like Lady Madeleine?”
“And now you bring that up once again,” his voice sounds annoyed.
“How can we be sure that they can adapt as well as us?”
“You said that when I turned Alexandre and Jeremiah. And as far as I see, I think the results are obvious.”
“But Maxi-”
“Maximillian is also fine. He had a little more trouble getting used, but now he is as good as us.”
“And what if they have troubles, too? We know nothing about their situation and what they’ll be leaving behind when they wake up, and we tell them they can’t go back to their home. What if they don’t want to? Or if they can’t adapt to the night?”
“That’s what you will do for the rest of your existence?” his voice changes again, sounding like one scolding a disobedient child. “Will you never act for fear of the ending not being the one you want?”
“You were the one who taught me to think about the consequences of my actions before acting.”
“But not in letting your doubts control you. You will not always have all the time you want to act. If you keep like this, you’ll achieve nothing new because when you have decided, it will be too late. Time doesn’t wait for anyone, not even us.”
“And this is a case when I have to act first before thinking carefully?” I extend my hands towards the sofa, pointing at the person on it. “According to my criteria, this is a case when I have to think about what I’ll do. Because what I’ll choose to do won’t only affect me or our family but their life too. That person will carry the consequences of what I do today for the rest of their existence.”
“They will have a chance, and that is what matters most. When they wake up-”
“We aren’t even sure they’ll wake up.”
...
There’s a deathly silence after my words.
I don’t dare to look into my father’s eyes.
“You have your order. Do it already.”
He turns away sharply and walks to the door. He stops before opening it, sighs heavily, and exits the library, resuming his act in front of my brothers.
Again. I talked too much again.
I always have to keep talking. I can’t let things be as they are. If only I could remain silent for once...
A heartbeat interrupts my thoughts.
That’s right. Now I’m alone with the human.
I look at them. They’re still on the sofa, looking like they don’t have many heartbeats left. I have to acknowledge their tenacity for being alive as long as they have and with so little strength left.
If I’m going to do it, it has to be now, before...
May the Moon forgive me.
I walk over to them and pick up what my father was doing earlier. I start to clean the dirt that has gotten to their arms.
These cuts aren’t because of falls or hits. They’re too clean to be the reason.
Hits, bruises, cuts... What happened to you? Did someone do this to you?
...I hope that later you will like to tell me what happened.
When I finish cleaning their arms, I bring my thumb to my mouth and rip my skin open with my fang.
For us, vampires, to share our curse with humans, we must give our blood. We have to be the first blood they taste, and it also has to come into contact with theirs. Said human also has to give their blood, as it’s a reciprocal act. This is how both end up marked forever, sealing the pact with the most important thing we can give...
Blood.
I remember the words Lord Mond told us all those decades ago when we newly witnessed the world without human eyes.
I let the drops of blood fall from my finger to their arms. With this, it should close all those wounds.
Then, I cut open the palm of my hand with my nail, clenching my fist to draw more blood and let it fall onto their abdomen. With this, it should start to heal that deep cut.
I bring my hand closer to their mouth, letting my blood slip between their lips.
Will this be enough? Maybe just a little more...
After a few moments, I retire my hand and clean it with my handkerchief. When I look at my hand, there’s no hint of any wound in my palm or thumb. Also, I use the cloth to clean the stains my blood left on their arms, and once they’re clean, they don’t have any wounds at all.
There’s only one thing left. I clean the human’s hand and lean closer, bringing it to my lips.
Just a little bit. I can’t take too much blood for all they’ve already lost-
My fangs had barely pierced the skin, and the blood touched my lips when I jumped away with a start.
What was that? Why was it different?
I can’t find the words to explain what just happened. This is not the first time I have drunk blood from a human, but this time...
It’s because I turned them. I did it. What have I done? No...
Forgive me. I am truly sorry.
I’ve no idea when I opened the door and left the room. I walk without stopping towards my bedroom.
I have to do something, anything. I don’t want to think about what will happen if you open your eyes or even if you don’t.
The only thing I know is that if you happen to wake up, I’ll be the one who will take the blame for your mistakes and the one responsible for you. It’s the least I can do for you.
A sigh escapes my lips as soon as I enter my bedroom and close the door.
If you happen to wake up, you will surely hate me for what I just have done.