Purple | Ryland Grace.
Pairing: Ryland Grace x reader
Summary: 5 times Colt asks you if you have feelings for Ryland plus 1 time you admit Colt is right.
wordcount: 10,274 (OOPS)
warning(s): none really?
authors note: Firstly want to say a thank you to @drcaptrylandgrace for listening to my ideas about this one! Thank you diva.
This is based on a fic I wrote for a different fandom a while back. But I thought why not revisit this classic format with a little bit of Coltland twins. Not sure how I handled Colt's character or Ryland's tbh, but I tried my best!
This is also maybe a little self indulgent with the stuff about academia, but hopefully it's interesting enough for you to stick around.
this is a little proofread, i'll fix any mistakes as i notice them AHHH.
you can find this fic on ao3 here, and you can find my masterlist here.
_____________________________
One
When one of your friends from college — Colt Seavers — had a deadly harness malfunction — leading him to fall 150 feet off a building on set — he had apparently asked for you by name to see him.
Colts brother, and your best friend from college, Ryland Grace, called your mobile phone once, then twice before you picked up and heard the news. So obviously you called in sick for a week, packed your dufflebag, and got on a plane that night heading to LA. At approximately midnight.
Okay so, Ryland wasn’t exactly your best friend at the moment. But he used to be. You hadn’t seen him for two years, your final year of college…Ryland was moving to a different city for his PhD, deciding on skipping his masters at a university that would allow him to.
You had still been in constant contact with Colt texting and calling, but you just didn’t know what to say to Ryland. You had been overthinking it for too long. You thought it was too late.
You were at a college graduation party in some college kids, jank party house. There were streamers, red solo cups, cases of any kind of alcohol you wanted scattered around. There was music too, some engineering student with a DJ deck and a laptop. It was only midnight, maybe even closer to one in the morning. You had arrived at the party separately from Ryland, but had found him across the room, giving you that same awkward adorable smile.
When you stepped into the kitchen, where a bunch of other college students were dancing to whatever up beat song was playing, the music started to fade into something a little softer and slower. You laughed, it felt like a high school dance.
Ryland walked toward you, placing his drink on a makeshift coffee table beside the kitchen table.
“Do you want to dance?” He asked.
And you couldn’t help, but be a little nervous. The way he looked in your eyes, made it seem like it was phrased seriously, but that you could take it as a joke if you wanted. You didn’t want to. You and Ryland had been physically affectionate for years, but this was something you had never done.
“Yea, yea I do actually.”
Ryland guided you to put your arms around him, on his shoulders, as he placed his arms very respectfully around you, his hands sitting on your waist.
You let out a sigh, relaxed as he guided your head to rest on his shoulder. And for the first time in your friendship, you could feel palpable tension. You could hear his heart rate speed up as your own did, you could smell his scent so strongly, and it made you want to explore what this shift was. A shift that made his hands on your waist and your head on his shoulder mean something else…something more.
“You're tired.” Ryland whispered, not an ounce of surprise in his voice.
You nodded, nuzzling your head into his shoulder.
“Sometimes I wonder…nevermind.”
Ryland lifted your head to look at him.
“No, what is it?”
“Well, I just sometimes wonder if Colt is right about things. What if this whole academia thing isn’t working.”
Ryland went silent, as if he was holding back from saying anything. You grumbled.
“I mean, I guess not for me or you though, I mean I’ve got my Masters work all set up for me and you’re doing your PhD…” You let yourself shut up, as you swayed more.
As the music shifted to a more upbeat song, you lifted your head from Ryland’s shoulder. Already missing its presence there, an example of what was to come. Ryland leaving you to pursue his PhD in another city, you staying and doing your Masters, Colt leaving for Los Angeles. You were losing the two most important people, the people that helped you through everything.
You looked Ryland in the eyes, and watched his smile fade, you liked to hope he had been thinking about the same thing. You felt yourself tearing up, and Ryland’s face turned into a frown, noticing you. His hand raised to cup your cheek.
“Don’t do your Masters.” He spoke, matter of factly.
“What?” You asked.
“Come to the city with me, work, don’t do your Masters.”
You backed away from his hand, shocked and confused.
“Ryland, you know I’ve been wanting to do my Masters here for years, now you’re saying I shouldn’t?”
You shook your head, and separated further out of his grasp.
“Come with me, I’ll do my PhD, we’ll live together, you’ll work, you’ll do something that actually inspires you.”
“I’m not going to throw my opportunity away so I can move with you and watch you pursue a variation of my dream.”
“You are exhausted, I know you!”
“Clearly this is the one time you’re wrong,” You said abruptly. your head shifting quickly from his gaze to around the room.
You cleared your throat, your eyes drifting to the ceiling to find any kind of reprise, before muttering a quiet, “Excuse me.”
You pushed past him and past the crowd, walking past all the college boys and cool girls, out of the living room and into the kitchen. You spotted Colt, standing with a red solo cup across from you, his face immediately dropped, he could read you so well.
You shook your head at him, after he sent you a questioning thumbsup, you rushed past him, and ran into the bathroom. You stepped in, locking it for extra measure.
You collapsed on the sticky ground, and began sobbing. You pulled your hands to your face, embarrassed, laughing at your absurdity between sobs. Maybe Ryland was right, you weren’t good enough, maybe you were too exhausted, but you knew damn well you had to try even if it killed you.
When you were done, you opened the door and Colt was standing outside, he caught your arm, and tried to speak. But you pulled away from him.
“Don’t. I’m leaving. Go talk to your brother.”
When you landed you took a taxi to the hospital. You rushed into the hospital, swinging your duffel bag over your shoulder. Once you found out what room he was in you ran, caught an elevator, got off on the wrong floor, got back onto the elevator and made it down the hall.
You pulled back the curtain that was in front of the bed and when you saw Colt laying on the bed you frowned, relieved to see he was alive, but sad for his pain.
“Thank god you’re here.” Colt grumbled. “Ryland’s been bothering me all day.” He said, pointing his thumb towards his brother.
You watched Ryland cross his arms sarcastically, and rolled his eyes under his gold framed glasses. You rolled your eyes in response, catching Ryland’s smile peek out from the exchange. This one tiny gesture, making it feel like those two years of not speaking had slipped away, like you were back with your best friend, and Colt.
You instantly dropped your bags and crawled on the bed, hugging Colt gently.
“Thank god you’re alive.” You mumbled into Colt’s chest. You could feel the laughter he was giving off. “I missed you so much, I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“God, people are gonna start calling me the Fall Guy aren’t they?” Colt asked.
You sat back up and took everyone in. Ryland was still so familiar. Except he had a little more muscle than he did in college. Okay, a lot more muscle. He was toned. His hair was longer and messier, he had more facial hair that you could see, but he still was that same guy that gave the cutest smiles your way, the same awkward guy that wore science pun shirts —like the one he was wearing now.
“I’m gonna go get some coffee. I’ll be back.” Ryland said.
“I’ll come with.” You responded.
Ryland nodded awkwardly, and you slipped off the bed and followed him back into the hall toward the coffee machine. Ryland put a cup in and pressed the dispenser buttons. You rocked on your feet, taking notice of him, trying to figure out what to say. You sighed and tried with,
“I’m sorry how things ended with us. I guess I was just thinking about what to say.”
“I know. It’s okay, really. I felt like an asshole telling you not to pursue your dream, I’m the one who should be sorry.” Ryland replied.
He lifted one of the cups out of the dispenser and handed it to you, before putting his in and waiting for it to be filled.
You cringed, feeling like you weren’t saying what you had been needing to say for a while. You were like Colt with those types of things…you both liked to think about what to say, until it inevitably became too late to say anything at all. Which is why you and Ryland hadn’t spoken in two years.
Ryland pulled his cup out, and pulled his glasses to sit on his head. God, when did his hair get so good? It wasn’t so long ago since he had a buzzcut — you shaved in his dorm room after messing up his hair — and scraped knees from falling off his bike on the campus cobblestone.
“I ended up dropping out of my Master’s program three months in, now I do journalism full time.” You explained.
Ryland’s head quirked up in surprise, then he nodded.
“Yea Colt told me about the journalism thing, but I just assumed you were doing that along with your studies.”
“I'm moving to San Francisco. Which is where you’re–”
“Doing my PhD work. Yea.”
“Are you still as smug a student as you were during undergrad?” You asked, lightly smacking his arm.
“I wasn’t that smug,” Ryland replied.
You gave him his world famous ‘really?’ look, that would be as impressive as his if you had glasses sliding down your nose to peek over.
“Okay fine I was a little smug, but unintentionally!”
You both burst out laughing, and it was suddenly normal again.
“Then I guess we’ll have no choice but to hang out then?” He asked, as if genuinely asking but his tone was slightly joking.
You nodded in agreement.
“I missed you. I just missed my best friend. Of course we will hang out.”
When you heard the sound of wheels rolling against the linoleum you and Ryland turned to look down the hall. What you saw was Colt in his hospital gown, walking with his IV stand rolling against the floor as he walked. He was holding his back and groaning dramatically as he walked toward you both. He grabbed Ryland’s coffee out of his hand, and drank it.
“You two friends again yet?” Colt asked.
You and Ryland rolled your eyes at the exact same time, and Colt laughed pointing at you both dramatically.
“Thank God! Now I don’t have to deal with this one alone.”
“Colt, why are you out of bed?” You crossed your arms, looking at him like a parent.
“I’m hungry.” He whined. “Plus I wanted coffee all day.”
You turned to Ryland, his face immediately catching what you were about to ask him.
“I’ll go get him a sandwich from the cafeteria.” Ryland grumbled.
“I’ll get this one back to bed.”
Ryland walked away from you both determined, and you held out your arm to lead Colt back into the room. As you entered his room again, you helped him onto the bed and he smirked at you. You grimaced at his face, and you rustled his hair as he laid back.
“You know in college I always thought you two would end up together.” Colt murmured.
“Who? Me and Ryland?” You asked, surprised.
“Do you have a crush on my little brother?” Colt asked, sending you a mock expression.
The same one Ryland used to send you when he wanted you to tell him what stupid thing you did that time.
“You and Ryland are literally the same age.”
“Oh my god, just answer the question.”
Fine. You often thought what would have happened between you and Ryland if you actually addressed that weird little shift at the party that made things feel slightly less platonic. You just assumed you were the only one who felt the shift.
And when you hadn’t spoken for so long, you often wondered who Ryland was dating, whether he’d be a good boyfriend, and sure you thought about what it would be like for you to have had the chance to date him specifically. And yes maybe you stalked his socials, staring a little too long at his terrible selfies. But Ryland had been your best friend for so long, and you didn’t have time to think about the consequences of that. And you weren’t going to start thinking about that now that you finally broke the tension.
“No. I guess I just never thought about him like that.” You lied, and he let you leave it at that.
“Can I tell you about Jody?” Colt asked, sighing really lovesick.
You squealed excitedly and snuggled up beside him on the bed like old times ready to hear the story of his latest crush.
Two
In preparation for your date Ryland offered to share some of his beer beforehand, and obviously you agreed. Despite the reluctant excitement you could hear in his voice.
When you arrived, Ryland had the lights down low, and two bottles of beer on the coffee table. You had to admit, the candle he lit when you sat down was a little too romantic for someone you swore was your best friend, but after all you were preparing for a date.
You laughed as you sipped on your beer, a response to one of his corny science jokes, you were both now sat on the ground in front of his couch.
“Wait, we should be practicing your answers for the questions they ask on first dates.”
“God no, please don’t subject me to this.”
Ryland chuckled, he crossed his legs scooting closer to you, he brushed his shoulder against yours.
“Come on! You’re going to have to answer these questions anyway when you see…what’s his name again?” Ryland asked, taking his glasses off to think.
You rolled your eyes, you had told Ryland your dates name a total of five different times days leading up to the date. Your friend from work proposed that you go on a blind date with her brother, she had sent you a photo of a guy twice your age in a golfing quarter zip and khaki pants, apparently a professor at the college, not the university, with a Masters and a PhD in communications.
“Ethan.”
“Right. You’re going to have to answer Ethan’s questions.”
You placed your beer bottle down on the coffee table and turned slightly more to look at Ryland fully, placing your hands in your lap. Ryland placed his glasses back in front of his eyes.
“Fine, let’s hear them.”
“What do you do for work?” Ryland asked, squinting his eyes, pretending to not know the answer.
You giggled.
“Hey, take this seriously.” Ryland teased.
You sighed, lifting your shoulders up and then down in defeat.
“Uh I work in journalism, I went to school for Communications.”
Ryland put his hand on his chin in pretend thought.
“Have you done any postgrad education?” Ryland asked.
You furrowed your eyebrows, why was he proposing this question?
“Ry, he’s not going to ask that.”
“He might.” Ryland said, shrugging. “Especially since he’s a professor.”
“And if I explain that I dropped out of my Masters program…?”
Ryland went silent, your goofy scene practice came to an end. A question you had been wanting to ask him since you became friends again entered your mind, one you had been holding back for months.
“Do you think less of me because I couldn’t finish my Masters program?” You asked, accusingly.
Ryland looked at you with confusion spreading across his face, he stood up, you followed suit, as he grabbed your beer bottles and placed them on the kitchen island, the case of beer sitting there too, ready to be dove into.
“Why are you asking me this right now? I thought we were having a good time.”
“Hey, I’m just practicing those first date questions you talked about!” You yelled sarcastically.
When he didn’t answer right away, you scoffed.
“Of course I don’t think any less of you, I’m only happy to have you back in my life.” Ryland responded, his back facing you.
You shook your head, he turned around, another beer in hand, afterall he was well trained with his responses.
“You were happy you were right, you couldn’t admit it in the hospital, but you can admit it now.” You moved your hands to emphasize each point, your gaze punctuated on his.
Ryland scoffed back, stepping closer to you, his arms crossing defensively, beer still hanging in his hand.
“If I remember correctly then I know you missed two years of our friendship because you were way too stubborn to admit that you were tired.” He rambled, his hands moving back and forth between you two for a second to display his point.
“You know that isn’t fair. You chose a PhD program in a different city. You’re the one who left.”
“And I asked you to come with me!”
You felt leftover rage overcome you. This was something you should’ve addressed months ago in the hospital, but didn’t for Colt’s sake. But then you were addressing it for your sake. You had forgotten for a second what it was like to not have Ryland in your life, purposely, to suppress the loss you felt for those two years.
Deep down, you had known Ryland was right. You had been suffering from burnout your entire academic career, you had been pushing yourself to the limit, because you swore all you wanted to do was be an expert in your field. Even if that meant it was killing you. And in the end it did kill you.
“What the hell do you think you’re going to talk about on this date anyway? He wears khakis and goes golfing!” He quipped. “Surely Ethan’s not interesting enough for you to be spending even a minute of your time with — god forbid all night.”
You couldn’t believe where this conversation was going. You looked away from him in anger.
“Well what guy— if not this guy— would you rather me spend all night with?” You asked.
A silence rushed over you both, and you had the stupid thought that maybe Ryland was suggesting he was the guy you spend all night with. And when you finally turned back to look at him the only thing you saw on his face was regret, like maybe he had realized he had said something he shouldn’t have.
“You know what? You can’t even say anything. You haven’t been on a date in years.” You grumbled.
“Nobody is as interesting as–” Ryland stopped himself, before swallowing. “I haven’t had the time.”
You nodded, and grabbed your coat that was by the door, and Ryland went back to the couch as if acknowledging some kind of surrender. You stood there, lingering. Your date was at 7:00pm.
“I’m gonna go.” You whispered.
Ryland turned to look at you from his green couch. He shifted his leg to cross over the other, and rested his arm on the back of the couch, his hand drifting to hold his head.
He gave you a very specific Ryland smile, the one that he gave you when he was trying to be supportive, but maybe wasn’t entirely. You could read Ryland as much as he could read you, he could hardly notice it.
He muttered a simple, “Goodluck”, and you smiled politely. An uncertain feeling, telling you that you needed to stay right there, flowed into your stomach. You ignored it.
Ryland picked up a book hiding under the coffee table, and began to read.
You walked out the door and realized Ryland was right. Ethan wasn’t interesting enough for you to spend all night with. Because instead, you texted him to cancel, grabbed a pint of icecream on your walk back to your apartment and facetimed Colt to cry about your argument with Ryland.
You cried as you scooped ice cream into your mouth, already twenty minutes into your rant to Colt — who was staring at you in fear from the other end.
“You guys need to call this a wrap. I mean this happened so long ago,” Colt whined. “Not that your feelings aren’t valid, or I don’t know. Why are you calling me for this type of thing? I can’t even sort out my own issues with Jody.”
You ignored Colt’s talking, and continued your rant.
“Oh and he had the audacity to say that my date wasn’t going to be interesting enough!”
“You cancelled the date!” Colt yelled.
“Yea well, only because he isn’t really my type.”
Colt’s eyes squinted before he gasped, and his eyes widened.
“Oh my god. Is Ryland your type? He’s totally your type.”
You stopped scooping ice cream into your face, and whined.
“Ugh, no, I’m hanging up in response to you even suggesting that.”
Colt rolled his eyes before you hung up and threw your phone across the room.
Three
You often wondered why you didn’t just take Ryland’s advice years ago and moved in with him. Now it had been 9 months since you and Ryland had been reunited, and you were basically living at Ryland’s apartment half the time anyway.
After resolving the argument a couple months back, you finally started to stay over most nights of the week, had a spare key, and yet still paid rent for your apartment you stayed in on and off.
You spent hours on his small green couch, chatting with him, and watching his TV, cuddled up and giggling — like you always used to do. It's also where you’d sleep, a lot of the time’s in his hoodies that you’d secretly smell because you loved the cologne he wore.
He’d make you breakfast in the kitchen before work, and if you were working from home, you would sit in his living room typing away at your laptop writing your latest article.
It felt natural, normal, like you were finally back with your best friend. Like everything that made you pull away from him in the first place was finally gone.
But there were moments that you couldn’t ignore that had you questioning what it would be like to actually live with him, not just an occasional house guest. You thought maybe you could spend the rest of your life being fed eggs by Ryland, and you were too afraid to ask what that meant. But you had been sharing clothes with Ryland since college, so why now did it mean more?
“I’m borrowing a shirt.” You yelled in Ryland’s general direction.
“Okay.” He responded. “I already knew you’d want to, I ironed all of them yesterday.”
You giggled a little, picturing Ryland ironing shirts tediously, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as if he was working on his dissertation or looking at a slide under a microscope.
You were in Ryland’s bedroom, sifting through his shirts, trying to figure out which one to wear that night, which ones would match the kind of jeans you were wearing.
You heard knocking at Ryland’s apartment door, more like banging actually, and you heard the couch shift as Ryland got up.
“I got it!” Ryland called.
“It’s probably Colt! He said he’d stop by and we’d grab dinner, remember?”
Your question was answered when you heard Colt’s booming voice enter the room. You rushed to put on one of Ryland’s buttonups and rushed into the main room. When you spotted Colt you rushed to give him a giant hug. He lifted you off the ground and you laughed as he set you down. He ruffled your hair and sent you a giant grin.
“Is that Ryland’s shirt?” Colt asked.
Ryland turned to you, he pulled his glasses down in front of his eyes, and you watched him stare at you for a moment, a smile forming on his lips. You smiled at the sight of him in his stupid fox cardigan. You felt that shift again, from years ago pulling at the air in front of you both. You had the foresight to recognize you were blushing and awkwardly shifted one your feet.
“Yea, I haven’t done laundry yet.” You explained.
You shrugged and Ryland stepped toward you and rolled up the sleeves. His hands grazing your skin, this too now feeling exactly how it felt years ago at that party.
Somehow, these things as simple as borrowing clothes, fixing each other’s outfits, touching each other’s skin, felt like it was meaning something more. How stupid of you it would be to assume that he’d felt it too. You felt weirdly purplish about the situation, sad and yet full of desire you maybe weren’t sure you were ready to unpack just yet.
“That’s because they haven’t gone back to their place in five days.” Ryland explained.
“Well it looks good on you.” Colt complimented. “Not that–not that it doesn’t look good on you Ry, although I will say you dress too much like a professor. Not that that’s bad I mean you technically are a teaching assistant–”
“Oh my god.” Ryland groaned. “You over think it too much and that’s coming from me.”
Colt laughed, and stopped talking. You gave him a curt smile. You had to admit the compliment came from the brother you didn’t want it to come from. But you’d take it.
“Thanks.”
“Okay, I’m going to send my paper over to my supervisor, and then we’re ready to go.” Ryland said, turning to Colt.
Colt nodded, walking into the kitchen away from you both. He stood beside the kitchen island, noticing the way you and Ryland gravitated toward each other. He knew you made Ryland the happiest he’d ever seen him.
Ryland struggled a lot to make friends growing up, Ryland struggled a lot because he was as Colt would call him “a huge nerd”, and suddenly when Ryland met you in college, you were all he could talk about, he knew you offered a space where he could be himself unapologetically. It helped that you were both huge nerds. Then when Colt met you in the theatre class you both had to take for your degree as a public speaking requirement, he knew he was going to love you too. So much so he allowed you to write an article all about his experience as a stuntman for one of your feature pieces.
Colt decided to look around the apartment, he didn’t visit a lot and wanted to snoop and take it all in. He made a detour to the bathroom, away from the kitchen.
Ryland placed a hand on your back before leaning down and saying,
“By the way, the shirt looks better on you than it ever did me.”
You blushed unintentionally and all of a sudden Ryland got very smug, a smirk appearing on his face, until the shyness came through and he bowed his head and walked into his room, closing the door, before even letting you mutter a response, as if he thought he said something stupid. The way he reacts when he tells you fun facts and regrets it immediately even though you love hearing them.
“Wow!” Colt exclaimed.
You turned around startled, remembering Colt was there amidst the interaction with Ryland. He was standing at the bathroom doorway having just peaked inside.
“What?”
“Wow…it’s like now…a tooth brush, a coat, a pair of shoes, they all come in doubles!” Colt said, sarcastically. “I mean seriously, it’s almost like two people live here.”
You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes.
“I don’t live here, I just spend the night sometimes.”
Colt gave you the same look Ryland gave you, and you laughed out loud at the brothers’ mannerisms.
“Five nights each week is what I heard last I called.”
“Yea, it’s no big deal.” You replied, playing with the front of your shirt.
“You like him don’t you?” Colt said, accusingly, like a middle schooler asking another middle schooler about their crush.
“Ugh you are so odd!” You yelled, a weak reply, thankful Ryland couldn’t hear.
Colt started poking you and you squealed as he chased you around the room.
Four
You had proposed to your editor that you go to the UNESCO conference instead of your science writer and report back all the scientific findings and research done that year in a pitch meeting.
You had just been recovering from your boss's harsh attitude after a series of failed articles when you pitched it. When your boss said yes, handing the piece to you, you were beaming with excitement. You were given two press badges, which meant you decided you were absolutely going to sneak Colt in to watch his brothers panel.
So there you were, sitting on a folding chair in the front row of all the other press guys, scribbling in your tiny spiral notebook. Your press badge displayed proudly, and you recording device tucked in your other hand intently.
Colt had been watching beside you for about thirty minutes before he decided he wanted to go find the refreshments table in the hallway.
Ryland was arguing with another scholar about waterbased lifeforms or something, the only time you had seen his glasses stayed firmly on his face. You didn’t entirely know what any of it meant, but you’d know Ryland would fill you all in once you were done.
God you were so glad you weren’t still in academia.
“Look, there is nothing special about hydrogen and oxygen. Water is required for life on Earth, sure. But a completely different planet might have completely different conditions! I don’t know why that makes me such a nut.” Ryland explained, his lips pressed close to the microphone.
“No one in your field wants anything to do with you because you refuse to back down from a very unpopular view Dr. Grace.” The other scholar with an accent replied.
Your mouth fell open as you looked up from your notebook, you stopped your scribbling as Ryland caught his eyes with yours for a second.
“And you’re a staggering waste of carbon.” Ryland mumbled into the microphone.
There were audible gasps in the ground. Press was going wild, you had to admit this was a press worthy story now.
You watched as the moderators went to silence the crowd, directing everyone on the panel to leave, ending it early for damage control.
When Ryland stepped down from the panel stage, he found you in the front row. He was staring at you intensely, like he was mortified. You stopped your recording device and stood up to punch his shoulder gently.
“Ry, that was so badass.” You excitedly claimed, you shoved your things back into your pockets, now hands free.
Ryland grabbed your hand quickly.
“Let’s go.”
“Okay let’s find Colt-”
You didn’t have time to ask why, or where you were going. You didn’t even have time to scan the room for Colt, because Ryland was tugging you out the room and into the hallway, navigating through the crowd that was beginning to form around you.
“Ry, where are we going-”
Ryland turned you both around the corner, spotting a supply closet.
“Get in.” Ryland instructed.
“What? You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
Ryland sighed frustrated.
“Quick!”
“Okay okay!”
He opened it and you stepped inside before he did. He closed the door fast. It was tight, there was no light, just complete darkness. You were literally standing on Ryland’s feet to fit into the room, and you felt yourself wobble. You were about to fall toward the wall before Ryland caught you, his hands on your hips. It was kinda hard not to be close in a situation like that.
“Ryland?”
“Yea?”
“Why exactly are we in a supply closet right now?”
“I don’t know, but I definitely shouldn’t have called that guy ‘a staggering waste of carbon’.”
You laughed hysterically, breaking the brief silence at his words.
“You’re embarrassed? Really? That was the most epic thing I’ve ever seen. It’s going in my article.”
“Oh god no.” Ryland groaned.
“Oh come on, you force me to be in a tiny supply closet with you, and I get to write about what you said today.”
Ryland couldn’t answer, you started to feel something crawling up your leg and you screamed.
You went to swat whatever it was off of you, you were pretty sure it was a spider, but it was kinda hard to see in total darkness.
You yelled jumping up, and Ryland was quick to pull you closer into his chest, away from your side of the room where the spider was. His hands rubbed soft circles into your lower back, the touch sent undeniable sparks up your spine. And you instinctively grabbed onto his shoulders.
And he had the audacity to laugh.
“Are you seriously laughing at me right now? There was a spider!”
“It’s just funny how afraid of them you are.”
“May I remind you, that you’re the one hiding in a closet from a scholar you’re afraid of.” You argued. “Besides, it wasn’t even that bad. You’re right you know, we can’t possibly assume all life forms in our universe are water based. He is a staggering waste of carbon for assuming so.”
“You think so?”
“Yea, I do, don’t doubt yourself.” You replied.
“You can use what I said in your article.”
“Thanks.” You mumbled insanely aware of Ryland’s body heat.
Your hands went back down from his shoulders to grab on his biceps, and you asked yourself why on earth you didn’t notice how attractive his arms were earlier? If there was a light in that closet you’d turn it on to look at them. God you were pathetic, all you needed was close proximity, or maybe you just hadn’t been laid in a while.
“I think we’ll be in the clear in a couple more minutes.” Ryland mused, interrupting your inner debate. “They usually clear out into other panels or peel back to their hotels.”
You nodded finally relaxed, well as relaxed as you could be cramped inside a dark closet. You planted your feet on the ground in between his, your faces were close together and your pelvis was so close to his that you let yourself imagine what it would feel like to roll them into his.
You could feel his breath on your cheek, his glasses grazing the side of your face, and when you attempted to move your head, you felt him breathe in, his stubble brushing against your skin.
Ryland’s hands shifted to grab your waist, steadying you and the silence that overcame you both felt like it was the first definitive sign that your dynamic was really shifting, that you weren’t crazy.
You couldn’t see Ryland’s face, but you couldn’t stop wondering if he was looking at you expectantly. You might even consider, doing something stupid, and leaning up to-
Suddenly the door popped open and the light from the hallway streamed in. Colt was standing outside, a cookie in his hand, his eyes wide in confusion.
You separated out of Ryland’s arms and jumped out of the supply closet. You couldn’t even begin to think about what that all meant because Ryland was muttering something about returning his conference badge, before he stepped out of the closet and left down the hallway.
Colt looked at you, his eyes squinting.
“How did you find us?” You asked.
Colt laughed, like it was the funniest thing ever.
“You know that multiple people saw you getting into this supply closet right? This building is literally full of people.”
“Hey this wasn’t my idea, it was your brothers.”
“Yea that checks out, he’s like never fully aware of his surroundings.” Colt laughed.
He chuckled to himself, taking a bite of his cookie. He looked at you up and down again, before looking at the closet, and you watched as he formed puzzle pieces in his head.
“Oh my god—did you and Ryland—”
Your eyes widened at the innuendo.
“No, we were hiding from that stupid scholar Ryland name called!”
Colt nodded, sending you a wink, punching your shoulder.
“Right. ‘Hiding’. I understand.” He teased.
“Ugh I hate you!” You whined, before storming off to find Ryland again.
Colt cringed, regretting his joke, he turned around ready to do damage control.
“Y/n, I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have made that joke!” Colt called after you as he rushed behind you.
Five
When Colt had facetimed you one day after work to tell you he and Jody were engaged that was no surprise to you. Jody and Colt were perfect together, of course in the beginning Colt had a bit of trouble expressing his feelings towards her, but in the end it all ended up fine. Now it had been a whole year since they got back together. They were both equally infatuated with each other, they shared the same jokes, they worked in the same field, everything about their relationship was what you wanted.
However, when Colt told you he and Jody were inviting you and Ryland to their engagement getaway in Bora Bora that did surprise you. Although after a thought, you realized how very Colt the whole trip was.
Colt said it was just going to be the four of you at a luxury hotel covered entirely by them, and Colt’s main interest specifically was the tiki bar — which made you roll your eyes. You had agreed to go, but were worried about Jody. You had met her only a handful of times, and you couldn’t tell if she liked you or not.
All of that to say you were stressed. You were trying to be normal about it.
You were going on vacation — you were being invited on Colt and Jody’s engagement trip, alongside your best friend Ryland, who you were probably, secretly, in love with. What could possibly go wrong?
When you arrived in Bora Bora on the first day, you couldn’t believe your eyes. Of course you were recovering from the flight, and the seasickness you had experienced. Everything was surrounded by a gorgeous shade of blue water, the mountains were magnificent, and you were all staying in little huts along a huge boardwalk.
Ryland accidentally drops his glasses off the deck and they take their clothes off to dive for them
“Ryland, Y/n! You made it!” Jody squealed as she ran toward you.
She pulled you and Ryland into a group hug, ignoring the dufflebags swung both over your shoulders, you and Ryland let out a gasp at her tight grip. You stood there letting her hug you both stood on the boardwalk leading to the resort. You and Ryland pulled back, and you sent Jody an awkward smile.
“Congratulations!” Ryland exclaimed, he fixed his glasses that Jody made askew during the hug.
“Yea, congrats! Show me the ring, please!” You begged.
Jody held her hand out to you, showing you the perfect wedding band. Colt had gone all out, and for the right reason, that was her person. You wondered whether you’d have one of your own one day.
“That’s awesome.” Ryland spoke, taking in the ring too.
Jody pulled her hand back, and sighed happily.
“Thank you so much for inviting us, I mean wow, this must have cost you guys a fortune.” You mumbled.
“Don’t mention it,” Jody said, waving her hand dismissively. “Come come, Colt is swimming at the beach around there before dinner, let’s meet him and then head to dinner.”
You watched Jody point her hand to the end of the boardwalk, where the water became deeper. The sun was starting to go down, you weren’t surprised, all the travel was well spent.
You all walked toward the end of the boardwalk, and you and Jody walked a little ahead of Ryland. You both seemed to be naturally fast walkers. There was another awkward moment of silence before Jody said,
“You know, Colt says wonderful things about you.”
You turned to her, her blonde hair reflecting in the sun, her blue eyes scanning your face, as she smiled wrinkles formed at the corners of them. You knew at that moment Jody was as lovely as Colt had told you. Just by a simple statement like that.
“Likewise.” You whispered.
“He wants you to be his best man, or I guess best person, alongside Ryland.” Jody explained. “Of course that’s up to you.”
Your heart melted at the thought of Colt planning out his wedding, and picturing you as his best person. You beamed in pride.
When Colt had told you he was dropping out of university to pursue stuntwork, you thought he was a fucking idiot. But he had proved you wrong, and you watched every single movie he was featured in. When Colt told you about his crush on Jody, you couldn’t believe how stupid he was being. But there you were, in their engagement trip. You were unbelievably proud of Colt, even though he drove you crazy.
“How were your travels, you know, with that one?” Jody asked, pointing her thumb behind you both at Ryland.
You laughed, as you all continued your walking. The boardwalk creaking under your feet.
“Good. Ryland was very patient with me.”
It was true Ryland had known you weren’t a very good traveler. You were afraid of flying, so he held your hand the entire flight, only letting go to force you to eat the airplane food. He navigated you both around your second airport during your connecting flight. He rubbed your back when you threw up over the side of the boat — the first time you discovered you got seasick.
It was things like that, that made it harder for you to deny that you were melting into Ryland, that you were falling for his kindness, that you couldn’t imagine yourself spending time with anyone besides him. It made you regret not moving with him to New Jersey all those years ago in the first place.
“Not a fan of travel?” Jody asked.
You shrugged, tilting your head side to side slightly.
“I like it when I’m at the destination, I just hate the process of getting there.”
Jody laughed.
When you got to the far end of the boardwalk, you and Ryland dropped your duffel bags on the deck and you peered into the water. Colt was smiling, he was swimming, he waved at you before he pulled himself up on the deck again to sit beside you. You all lowered yourself to sit beside Ryland.
“It is so good to see you two! I’m getting married to the most beautiful woman, and we’re celebrating on an island, with a Tiki Bar!” Colt exclaimed, punctuating his points.
You all laughed, and Colt leaned over to kiss Jody on the cheek.
“Him and his Tiki Bar.” Jody said, rolling her eyes.
“I think our rooms should be ready, they are the huts closest to this side of the boardwalk.” Colt said, drying his hair with a towel.
He looked like a wet dog, you loved how happy he looked in the sun. Like a child. Moments like those made you wish you had grown up with Ryland and Colt. Instead of just ‘growing up’ together in college.
Colt pointed at two huts behind you about a couple steps away. The first one was smaller than the second one, probably because their hut had only one bedroom.
“Why don’t me and Colt get dressed for dinner, you can both drop your bags in your room, and we’ll meet you at the dining hut?” Jody suggested.
You all nodded your head and Colt and Jody stood up and walked hand in hand away from you. You and Ryland sat shoulder to shoulder, taking in the view.
“It’s so nice, seeing him so happy.” Ryland whispered. “When he first told me about stunt work, I was so worried.”
The sun reflected on the water, you both swung your feet over the deck in unison. You turned your head to take him in, the tiredness under his eyes from all the traveling becoming evident. You wanted to hold his face, and hold him to sleep. Something you had never done before.
“Because of the injuries?” You asked.
Ryland pulled his glasses to hang below his chin.
“Yes that…but also I think because I was worried he’d be lonely.”
You thought about it for a moment. You guess you had been worried about the same thing.
“You and Colt are so different, but you still had each other.” You reassured him.
Ryland went to say more, went to pull his glasses over his eyes, but they fell off his face and he scrambled to catch them, but it was too late they had fallen into the water, you were watching them sink into the blue.
You didn’t even think twice when you saw Ryland’s shocked face, one of amusement, and also concern. You knew he was trying to be chill and not make a big deal out of what had just happened, but you also knew that he needed his glasses, to finish the book in his suitcase, that the glasses had been a gift from Colt. Colt’s first paycheque — paying for Ryland’s eyeglasses instead of going through insurance, a luxury for Ryland who was making minimum wage.
You scrambled to pull your shirt off and Ryland’s arm went in front of you to stop you. You moved it away and stood up, pulling your shorts off leaving you in nothing but your underwear and barefeet. You might have been insanely down bad, or just straight up insane, but you jumped off the deck and into the water with a big splash, and dove down into the water. The water was deep, you couldn’t stand in it, but not too deep you couldn’t see or reach the bottom.
When you saw his glasses on the bottom, you grabbed them and pushed yourself to the surface with your feet. You gasped for air, your head popping out of the water, and raised your hand showing Ryland his glasses.
“Are you crazy? You didn’t need to do that!” Ryland shouted.
You swam closer to the edge of the deck where Ryland was still sitting. You handed him the glasses, and he put them on top of his head like a headband instead of in front of his eyes.
“Yes I did.” You heaved in exhaustion. “You can’t read without them.”
Ryland reached to grab your hand, pulling you out of the water onto the deck beside him again. You were completely soaked, your wet knees grazed his dry bare knees under his shorts. You didn’t let go of his hand as he looked you in the eyes, a look you couldn’t decipher for the first time.
“You just jumped into the ocean to save my worthless glasses.”
You shrugged, allowing yourself to melt into his warmth, only slightly.
“They aren’t worthless, Colt gave them to you, I know how important that is.”
Ryland reached over and raised his hand to swipe your wet hair out of your face. His gaze shifted to your mouth. You both let out a fit of giggles.
“You are crazy, but I like that.” Ryland simply responded.
Your hair felt like seaweed, and you were undressed in front of your best friend for the first time. You didn’t like how he was looking at you, not because you hadn’t considered it, but because you were afraid of admitting that your stubbornness wasn’t letting you have him in that way.
You cleared your throat and pulled yourself away from him.
“I guess I’d like to get dressed before we go to dinner.” You laughed.
Ryland chuckled.
“You did just get soaking wet, so I think that’s fair.”
You grabbed your clothes and stood up, following Ryland to your hut.
When you and Ryland got inside you and he took in the place. It was a luxury resort for sure. You and Ryland set your duffle bags down in the ‘living room’ area.
You had white bedding, flowers in a vase, a small area with a couch, and the bathroom was gorgeous with a massive bathtub. When you stepped into the next room, expecting your beds, your heart dropped as you saw it. One king sized bed in the middle of the room, two bedside tables and a lamp.
You swore to god Colt had something to do with this.
“Hey, I mean it could be worse.” Ryland replied to your grumble, having heard your swearing.
“How so?” You asked.
“Well, we could have no couch.”
You nodded, realizing what he was saying. Ryland was right, you slept on the couch at his apartment all the time anyway, you hadn’t ever slept in a bed with him before, even in college. And there was no way you were going to start now, especially when you were trying to hide the feelings you suspected you had for him, and were trying to get rid of.
“I guess that’s true, I could take the couch.”
“We can alternate.” Ryland suggested.
He was always the one good with solutions. You nodded agreeing.
“Okay. You take the bed tonight.”
“Are you sure?” Ryland asked.
You nodded, sending him a smile which he reciprocated. You could already feel an uncomfortable tension forming between you two.
“I’ll get dressed then we can head to dinner.” You replied, picking clothes out of your suitcase.
You went to head toward the bathroom, your bare feet moving against the hardwood.
“Hey,” Ryland called, gently.
“Yea?” You asked.
“Thanks for getting my glasses.” He said, taking them off and putting them on the bedside table.
“Of course.”
Jody, you and Ryland all had a fantastic dinner. You had been sitting outside, on a patio beside the water, candles lit on all the tables around you, since it was dark. The sky was clearer than ever revealing stars you probably couldn’t see if you were in a city at the very moment.
You celebrated their engagement, and Colt and Jody were pleasantly surprised when the waiters brought them a celebratory dessert. It distracted you from how romantic this all would be if it was just you and Ryland. You all chatted and laughed and only when the dinner ended did you feel a sense of dread wash over you.
So when Jody and Ryland mentioned heading to bed and Colt asked you to join him at the Tiki bar you immediately said yes. Avoiding the tension for as long as you could.
You ordered something fruity, the same drink as Colt. And when it arrived in a Tiki cup you expected an excited squeal from Colt, which is exactly what happened.
“Only Colt Seavers would choose a resort with a Tiki bar.”
Colt lifted his drink towards you.
“Hey, I deserve it after what a shit year it’s been.”
“I heard you want me to be your best person.” You whispered.
Colt visibly got nervous.
“If that’s okay with you, I mean if you’d rather be Jody’s best person, or if you’d rather just be a guest or—”
“Colt. You’re my best friend. Of course I can’t just be just another guest. I’ll be your best man. Or best person whatever you wanna call me.”
“Thank god. I was so nervous to ask you.” Colt let out a relieved sigh.
You took the moment of silence to hit him on the shoulder hard, Colt winced and you glared at him, pulling your drink toward you.
“What? We were having a moment!”
“You put us in a hut with only one bed on purpose, didn’t you?” You accused.
Colt huffed, playing with his paper umbrella.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, must’ve been a mistake with the booking.” He said, feigning innocence.
“You are making this so much harder than it needs to be!” You whined.
Colt gawked at you, the chatter around the bar dimming down as people headed back to bed.
“What are you talking about? I don’t know why you’re whining honestly, you are sharing a hut on a tropical island with an attractive man.” Colt argued.
“Never mind. Let’s just talk about something else.” You argued back, juvenile.
“No. Tell me honestly. Just you and me. Do you have feelings for Ryland? Do you feel how I think you feel?” Colt asked, the most serious you had ever seen him.
It was strange to you that in moments like this, you could tell which expressions were unique to Colt, that were acquired by Ryland and which expressions Colt was missing from the ones Ryland had taken on from being away from Colt for years.
You could barely manage your words, feeling already as though they betrayed your truth. You looked down at the ridiculous drink in front of you, stirring it with your straw, plucking out the paper umbrella and placing it on the bar.
“No, no I do not.”
You felt as if you were speaking in the tone of a Jane Austen character who was denying something everyone could see was so obvious. Maybe that was and had been the case for so long. Maybe Ryland wasn’t the only one who could read you.
“You keep saying that, but you wanna know what I think?” Colt asked, he took a sip from his straw.
“What do you think?” You asked.
“I think you’ve already fallen for him. And that’s hard for you to admit because it’ll be the first time you realize that you are becoming inspired by something other than your own stubbornness.”
+1.
When you and Colt headed back to your huts, you tried to shrug off what had just been said. Maybe Colt was right, but now wasn’t the time to bring it up.
You pushed open the door, closing it behind you as you walked through the darkness. You spotted the couch, Ryland must have grabbed a blanket from the closet or something, because there was a pillow and blanket tucked in to make a makeshift bed.
You headed to the bathroom past the bedroom, peeking in to notice Ryland facing the other way under the covers. You brushed your teeth, and headed back to the ‘living room’ couch.
As you got settled under the blanket, you tried to fall asleep. You closed your eyes and tried to relax. But you couldn’t stop thinking about what Colt said. You had to admit he was pretty damn accurate. You had been falling for Ryland for years.
Ryland was one of the only people you thought about consistently when you woke up in the morning, and he was the last person you thought about before you fell asleep. Your favorite memory involved Ryland bringing you your birthday cake — fully lit — on your birthday, and sending you a childlike smile without saying a word as he placed it down on the table in front of you.
You loved his stupid science facts, his ambition for his work, his kindness and his awkwardness, you thought he was killer with his floppy hair, you’d let him take you anywhere. Everything that made him him was exactly the kind of person you imagined yourself being with.
You sat up at the thought, your heart beating fast. Surely this could wait for the morning.
You sighed as you tried yet again to fall asleep, but the thought of staying on that vacation in that little hut for a moment longer without knowing how he felt grasped you.
You sat up and pulled the covers off of you. If Ryland didn’t feel the same, then surely you could fly back home, or beg Colt to get you another hut. You just needed to tell him.
You stepped quietly against the hardwood floor, and pushed the bedroom door open a little more. Before you could question if Ryland was still asleep, and maybe that this was a horrible horrible idea. Ryland groaned and turned over to face you, when he saw you, he turned back around and turned on the small lamp.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Ryland asked, tiredly.
You nodded, still in the doorway.
“Yea, uh, I feel like I’m still on San Francisco time.”
Ryland let out a quiet, ‘mm’, and for a moment you both stayed there looking at each other like deer caught in headlights.
“Can I maybe join you?”
“In bed?” Ryland asked, and you didn’t miss the blush that spread across his face,
“I mean, it’s fine if not, we’ve never really slept in the same bed together, but–”
“No!” Ryland said a little too loud. “I mean no, it’s okay, get in.” Ryland pulled back the other side of the comforter.
You got in, laying down facing him. You both were at a hilarious distance from each other, looking at each other like animals in an exhibit not sure if you should interact. You let out a laugh.
“Can I come closer to you?” You asked.
Ryland simply nodded.
You moved closer to him, not daring to move your hands to touch him yet. Then you were practically nose to nose, your legs not touching though, and your hands awkwardly in front of you.
“I don’t know why this is so awkward, I mean, we cuddle all the time.”
You smiled at this response.
“Then cuddle me right now.” You demanded.
Ryland was very quick to grab onto you, pulling you close to his chest without hesitation. Your legs became intertwined, and one of your arms was around his shoulder, playing with his hair while the other was pressed against his chest. The feeling of Ryland’s face in your shoulder, under your chin, made you realize you never wanted to let him go.
Maybe that moment wasn’t the moment to confess your feelings, but it just slipped out, the moment Ryland’s hand moved to run up and down your spine, sending shivers to your body,
“You know, Colt was right all this time.” You confessed.
You shocked yourself at how brave you were being, how natural it was to begin saying it. Maybe it was the fact that you couldn’t possibly know whether this would be the last time Ryland would hold you, you had no idea how he felt.
Ryland pulled back, looking at you with his drooping eyes, his hands still very much on your waist.
“About what?”
You gave him a smile that was your attempt at allowing him to read you. To say ‘about how I like you you idiot’, without having to say anything at all. When he didn’t move, his expression softening to an almost discernable reflection, you spoke,
“About how I like you, how I was–how I am falling for you. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Ryland chuckled, and brought one hand to graze your face, to cup your cheek. His thumb rubbing softly against your skin.
“Of course he was right.” He mumbled.
You began pulling back, taking that as his rejection. But Ryland stopped you, looked you in your eyes softly, then back down to your lips for a second. He leaned his face down, so your noses were side by side, and he kissed your bottom lip softly. Just one solid long kiss, and your body relaxed, relieved, you took that as your invitation to deepen it. Smiling as he chuckled into your mouth as you leaned your head up a little more to chase after his lips.
Ryland was laughing when you pulled apart, and you could feel the burn his stubble applied to your skin. Your foreheads pressed together and he flipped you on your back, kissing you into the mattress, your hands tugging at his hair. In response, he kissed your neck, mumbling words you couldn’t hear, only catching him say,
“I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time.” He groaned.
You pulled him down so he was laying beside you again, kissing his forehead once, so he could really look at you.
“You can have me, however you want. For as long as you want.”
Ryland’s eyes lightened up, and he grinned sheepishly, ready to show you all the ways he’s wanted you…show you how much you mean to him…how much he was falling for you all these years and he was ready to do that, not just for one night on a tropical Island. But for the rest of his life.
“I know everyone changes, but I know nothing will change the way I feel about you.” He replied.
Your heart melted at his words, and he pulled you back into his arms, sleepily running your hands in his hair, as he let out a happy sigh, sleep overtaking the both of you.