A trip to the desert 🏜️
Rehman × Ulfat
Disclaimer: This is a purely fictional work inspired by the electrifying performances of the actors on screen. It has absolutely nothing to do with real-life terrorists or such individuals.
The Vibe: A roadside shack so deserted even the ghosts have moved out. The only signs of life are one very judgmental crow and the visible steam coming off Ulfat’s head.
Ulfat: (Screeching at a frequency that could shatter glass) Rehman, I swear on my designer handbag, if you say ‘it’s a shortcut’ one more time, I will use your useless GPS to dig a grave for us in this sand! Right here! Next to that cactus!
Rehman: (Checking his dead phone like it’s going to miraculously resurrect) Jaan, look at the bright side! We’ve bypassed civilization. No traffic, no noise, no pollution... just pure, unadulterated nature.
Ulfat: Nature?! Rehman, there is no LIFE here! The only thing moving is my blood pressure! We were supposed to be sipping mojitos by an infinity pool, and instead, we are at... what is this hell-hole even called?
Rehman: (Squinting at a rotting wooden sign) It says... 'Last Hope Tea & Biscuits.' See? It’s poetic. It’s like a movie.
Rehman gave her a tea cup ...
Ulfat: (A shrill, hysterical laugh) Last Hope? My hope died three kilometers ago when the car started making that cluck-cluck-bang sound! And look at this tea! Is this tea or liquid mud? I think I see a tectonic plate shifting at the bottom of my cup!
Rehman: (Taking a brave sip. His soul immediately leaves his body. He coughs violently) It’s... organic? Very... earthy? It has a certain... personality.
Ulfat: Don't 'earthy' me! I’m hungry, I’m dusty, and I’m 100% sure that crow is laughing at my hair. You are the worst navigator in the history of men with inflated egos!
Rehman: (Snapping for a second) Oh, so now it’s my ego? Who spent forty-five minutes deciding which sunglasses 'matched the vibe' of a highway? If we’d left on time—
Ulfat: (Gasping) How dare you! My 'vibe' is the only thing keeping us classy in this ghost town! You’re lucky I didn’t pack a suitcase full of stones to throw at you!
Rehman looks at Ulfat. Her nose is beet-red from anger, her hair is a 'desert-chic' bird’s nest, and she’s aggressively stirring her tea like she’s trying to drill a hole to the center of the Earth. She looks terrifying. She also looks like a grumpy bear.
Rehman: (Softening, his voice dropping into 'Damage Control' mode) Okay, okay. The 'vibe' is currently 'Grumpy Princess,' and honestly? It’s kind of working for you. You’re cute when you’re ready to commit a felony.
Ulfat: Shut up. I am a ghost. You are talking to a ghost.
Rehman: (Sliding his arm behind her on the rickety, splintery bench) Come on, Ulfat. Look at the sunset. It’s quiet. No tourists, no annoying cousins... just us, the judging crow, and the mud-tea.
Ulfat: And the mosquitoes. I think one just signed a lease on my ankle.
Rehman: (Chuckling, tucking a stray hair behind her ear) I’ll fight the mosquitoes for you. I’ll even admit I’m a total idiot who shouldn’t be trusted with a map or a car or a life. Just stop the 'fuming,' jaan. You’re going to overheat and I don't have enough water to cool down my little firecracker.
Ulfat: (Trying to keep a straight face, but her lip quivers) You’re a big, lost, directionless donkey.
Rehman: Your donkey, though.
He leans in and plants a long, sweet kiss on her cheek. Ulfat stiffens like a board, her face turning a shade of pink that rivals the sunset.
Ulfat: Don't try to butter me up with your cheap romance! I am still extremely, 100% livid!
Rehman: I can see that. Your left eyebrow is doing that twitchy thing it does when you want to kiss me but also want to punch me.
Ulfat: (Crossing her arms and turning her face away) Exactly. One kiss doesn't fix a broken GPS and a thirst for a mojito. Now, go see if 'Last Hope' has any biscuits that aren't from the stone age. Move!
Rehman: (Grinning, walking away) Yes, Ma'am! Anything for my grumpy jaan!
Ulfat: (To herself, whispering) ....Stupid, cute, lost idiot.
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