It didn't take any effort to fall into this routine. After Sam moved in with Eileen, the bunker became too big and lonely for the two of them to sleep in separate rooms. Dean still remembers the first time Cas slept in his room. It was two months after Sam had left. He and Cas were watching a western in his room. Dean had an arm around Cas. Before, Dean would have been nervous about this intimacy. But now, it was just the two of them and an arm around Cas when Cas leaned on his shoulder seemed like the most natural thing. When the credits rolled in, both of them were too tired to care.
Since that night, Dean never slept alone.
Every morning, Dean would wake up to the smell of brewing coffee. It seemed Cas liked mornings. Dean would go to the kitchen to find a cup ready for him and join Cas at the table and Cas would give him a shy smile.
There was a contentment in knowing that they had time. That there was no looming danger to mark the end of humanity. That they don't have to be the heroes for once. That they could finally rest.
He wanted more. He knew Cas wanted more too. But what they had, it seemed so pure. He thought a hasty move would only spoil it. He let things take their own flow.
Dean decided he liked the little things the best. The way his arm brushes against Cas' arm and the way a flicker of smile passes through Cas' lips. The way he catches Cas staring at him sometimes and how flustered Cas gets when he looks away. The way he gets to hug Cas just because he wants to and the way Cas understands the need and desperation in each of his touches.
That's the thing. Cas always understands. For once, Dean is not afraid to love. For once, he believes good things happen too because he believes in Cas.
There was no rhyme or reason that brought Dean’s feet walking in the direction he was headed. It was a sunny day and instead of walking the couple feet from his car to his house he just suddenly felt the desire to take a walk. It wasn’t like there was anything waiting for him at home except leftovers and a six pack. So with a blank mind and the ghost of a smile, he walked leisurely down the sidewalk that twisted and turned through his neighborhood.
A kid skated by on roller blades making Dean chuckle to himself at how youth never changed. He remembers the day Sam had brought home a pair of beat up roller blades a friend of his gave him. They had went out into the driveway and Dean held his elbow as he helped his brother master the shoes. It took a few weeks after school every day before Sam was skating around and soon going out to skate with friends. Dean remembers watching his brother leave the house with the roller blades slung over his shoulder and missing the days they spent practicing and being together.
His feet keep carrying him down the sidewalk until he comes to turn. He looks both ways across the road and ponders which way to keep going or if he should turn back. Before he could come to a decision he sees across the street a young woman frantically racing about the street corner with a look of dreadful panic etched into her features.
Dean sprints across the street and comes up slowly to her as to not scare her. “Hey, are you okay?”
The woman turns with tears filling her eyes and shakes her head. “I lost my brother’s dog. I was supposed to be watching him and he jumped out a window!” The woman bit back a sob and covered her face with her hands.
Furrowing his brow, Dean turned and searched the suburban area for any trace of a dog. “What’s the dog look like?”
“He’s a german shepherd. Still a puppy. I don’t know how he managed to get out the window! His name is...um…” The woman chuckled nervously. “His name is Burger.”
With a soft chuckle, Dean looked back into her eyes and tried to convey a reassuring smile. “I’ll help you find him, ma’am.”
“It’s Anna, and thank you.” She smiled back, the tears still teetering in her eyes, before turning and scanning around. “If you could go that way and I’ll go this way maybe one of us will see him. Meet back here either if you find the dog or maybe in a couple minutes?”
Dean nodded, not wasting much time before heading off to where she pointed. Admittedly, he really didn’t see his small walk turning into a hunt for a dog but he was glad to help. He remembered the dog Sam had brought home once, begging to keep him, only to have their father say it was too much responsibility. Which Dean decided had always been a wise decision but the look that woman had on her face, Dean was glad he never had to see it on Sam’s in the case that anything had happened to that dog if they had kept it.
“Here Burger!” Dean cupped his mouth and shouted down the street. It wasn’t busy so he didn’t get many strange looks.
Keeping his pace quick and his eyes sharp, Dean took a few twists and turns and found himself walking along a fence that bordered a park. Squinting against the sunlight he saw some dogs happily playing with their owners on the small hills. What got his attention though was a small german shepherd curled up under a picnic table. He almost didn’t believe his eyes until he saw the big ears and dark snout catching some sunlight.
Heaving a breath of relief he easily jumped over the fence and started to cautiously approach the scared puppy. When he got a couple feet away he was halted by a soft whine. Dean lowered himself into a crouch and held out an open palm toward Burger, who was now eyeing him.
“Hey, Burger, I’m Dean.” With every word he spoke he inched just a tad closer. “Anna is worried sick about you, boy.”
Burger lifted his head and tilted it. His big black eyes seemed to analyze Dean’s posture and face. After a few moments of silence between the two, Burger slowly started to scoot himself out and towards the man. He let out another soft whimper when he was only a couple inches from Dean’s hand.
“That’s a good boy.” Taking a chance, Dean lowered his hand under Burger’s snout to let him sniff it. “I ain’t gonna hurt you.”
After smelling the offered hand, Burger yipped and crawled his way between Dean’s crouched legs. Letting out a short laugh, Dean began to run his fingers through the dog’s fur and rubbing against his skin. After a couple seconds of that he stood up and was surprised to see Burger stand up and at attention by his side.
“You okay if I pick you up?” Dean asked even though he knew he wasn’t getting an answer.
Scooping the dog up against his chest Dean snorted as a tongue swiped up his cheek. Turning back towards where he came from, he started the short walk toward where he was going to meet Anna. He wondered briefly, as he crossed the street with a ball of fur all but panting in his arms, if maybe he should get a dog.
He didn’t have much time to think more on it before Anna was sprinting toward him with a look of pure relief and happiness exuding from her. Dean didn’t have a chance to set the dog down before Anna was pulling him from his arms and cradling him to her chest.
“Oh my god! Thank you! Thank you so much! My brother is going to be home any minute and if he came home and Burger was missing he would be devastated!” Anna once sad tears turned to ones of happiness as she looked into Dean’s eyes with a grin wide enough to split her cheeks. “Please, let me pay you back somehow.”
Shaking his head, Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and thought about the leftovers and six pack waiting for him at home. “Don’t worry about it, ma’am. He’s a cute dog and I’m just glad he’s back to where he should be.”
Anna nodded, cooing at Burger before turning back to Dean again. “At least tell me your name.”
“Oh, uh, Dean. Dean Winchester.” Dean looked around to see he wasn’t far from his house. “And really, don’t worry about repaying me. I need to be getting home anyway.”
“Do you live around here?”
Nodding, Dean pointed toward his street. “Yeah, the green house down that way.”
Anna turned and squinted. “Okay. Well thank you again. You saved my life today.”
Chuckling, Dean waved to her before starting his trek home.
Only when he shut his door behind him and looked through the darkened rooms, he realized how lonely he really was and how today had been a really good day for a walk.
~
The microwave timer had just gone off when a loud knocking came from the front door. Dean quickly shot off his couch to pop open the microwave door before starting toward his door. It was a regular wednesday evening meaning there really wasn’t a reason for visitors which meant it was probably a salesperson.
Taking in a deep breath and running a hand through his hair, Dean pulled open the door with a smile pulled up on his lips. The smile quickly turned into his jaw dropping as probably the most handsome man he had ever seen was standing on his door mat with a bag of something good smelling held to his chest.
The dark haired man, with eyes so blue Dean felt as though he could drown in them given the chance, smiled widely and juggled the bag a little to reach his hand out between them. “Hello, I’m Castiel Novak and I heard from my sister that you saved her life the other day.”
It was almost comical how deep and serious that sentence was spoken and Dean knowing that he really didn’t save a life. Shaking himself mentally of the butterflies now swooping in circles in his stomach, he reached out and shook Castiel’s hand.
“Oh-um-the name’s Dean and I didn’t really-”
Releasing Dean’s hand Castiel laughed and shook his head slightly. “She told me that you found Burger. I wanted to thank you because although his name is beyond ridiculous he is a very important member of my family.”
Nodding, Dean swallowed thickly and willed himself to not swoon at the sound of his laughter, or the fact that this guy found him out just to thank him for finding a dog. “It was no trouble, really.”
“Maybe not,” Castiel grinned, “but I would still like to thank you. I didn’t know what to bring over so I grabbed some take out.”
Remembering the not-so-frozen dinner in his microwave, Dean’s lips turned up into a smile and he opened his door further with a gesture to come in. “Sounds awesome, Castiel.”
~
“Burger, down!” Castiel’s voice boomed through Dean’s house in the very very early hours of the morning. “Get that out of your mouth!”
Laughing loudly, Dean twisted his body on his bed to get a little more comfortable and to pull some muscles awake after sleep. He burrowed his face into his pillow and breathed in the scent of Castiel. Letting out a deep sigh of contentment, he wished more than anything that he could live forever in this moment.
But the moment was suddenly disrupted as two sets of paws land directly on his back. Dean yelped and twisted himself in his sheets to meet Burger’s eyes. The two didn’t move for a long moment before Dean swiftly gathered the dog up in his arms and rolled them so Dean was on his side with Burger burrowed against his chest.
“It’s too early, Burger, go back to sleep.” His rough morning voice spoke directly into the dog’s head.
Burger let out a soft yip before his tail slowed and he let himself relax in Dean’s hold. The two laid together and pretended to sleep until a pair of socked feet padded into the bedroom. Dean tried his hardest to keep his smile off his face when he felt the sheet shift and the bed dip. A hand gently caressed his cheek as two legs intertwined with his.
“You know, Dean, Burger and I really enjoy waking up here.” Castiel’s voice was the softest Dean ever remembered hearing it. “And going to sleep here. And eating here. And watching TV here…”
Popping open one eye, Dean smirked as he met his boyfriend’s loving stare. “Would the two of you enjoy living here?”
Castiel smiled and nodded. “We really would.”
Letting his eyes slide shut again, Dean couldn’t help but let his smile warm every part of his body. “Then I guess we are gonna have a long Sunday of packing boxes ahead of us, sweetheart.”
The sun hangs low in the sky to brush golds and purples and reds above it and Dean sits on the hood of the impala staring up at it. Every possibility seems to live out there, all the lives and places and things they could do- anything but living this life here. He lifts a beer to his mouth and takes a swig.
“Am I allowed out here?” Cas asks
“Always.” Dean pats the hood and scoots over a little. Cas sits, uncertain and far away on the hood.
“I’m not always welcome out here,” he says.
Dean looks down and laughs a little. “Well you are tonight.”
They sit together in silence, Dean drinking and Cas watching. The sun moves lower and the colors change, the purples going darker toward blue and the reds mellowing.
“I was thinking. When we say it, it should look like this,” Dean says.
Cas stares at the display in the sky and slowly nods. “I agree.” He looks at Dean. “They happen every night.”
The corner of Dean’s mouth quirks up and he scoots closer to Cas until their hips touch. The sun continues its descent, the orb seeming to wobble in the sky as it makes its way down.
“I was thinking that when we say it we could be just like this.” Dean says softly. He takes Cas’s hand in his and weaves their fingers together.
Cas frowns. “Like this?”
“Yeah, just ourselves. No dressing up or…” he shrugs. “Maybe no one else really here. Just us.”
“Someone has to do the ceremony.”
“Okay so a JP or something, you know what I mean. Just…. Just us. You know?”
“What about Sam?”
Dean shrugs. “ He would understand.”
Castiel looks back to the fading sun, catching the last seconds that the light is truly above the horizon. It seems to shimmer in those last few moments, then suddenly it’s gone, orange melting across the horizon, blending out the red and pushing purple into blue.
Dean and Cas’s daughter grudgingly having her prom date pick her up from her house.
Her date being nervous because he had thought she had misspoke when she said Dads, which is fine, but now he doesn’t know which one to be more scared of.
Dean inviting him inside to make sure he can exit the demon trap on the floor.
Castiel forcing him to have a glass of (holy) water.
Their daughter grumbling and complaining as they go through the process but casually sprinkles some salt in his hair.
Dean telling her they wouldn’t have to go through this if she had just taken Rob (I wasn’t going to take my cousin to prom, that’s stupid).
Cas making them pose for pictures and making sure her date actually showed up in the image.
Dean saying the “stupid flowing thing” was crooked and stabbed her date with the pin as he tried to fix it. Their daughter hissing “Where do you even find silver boutonniere?”
Dean and Cas finally ushering them out the door, telling their daughter to be safe and giving her a meaningful look. She just grins and says “I’m always prepared.” which makes her date blush because he doesn’t know she is talking about the knife hidden under her dress.
Finally, her date asking when her curfew was and Dean and Cas just laughing and telling them to have fun and drive safe.
Dean and Cas lingering by the door as the car pulls away with their beautiful daughter and they decide to spend the evening curled together on the couch watching bad TV because that’s their life now.
“Castiel you will do this. You have a responsibility to your family.” Michael’s expression made it very clear that this point was not up for negotiation.
“But…” Castiel began, noticing Anna’s eyes widening at his protest. He could not do this. He could not.
“Castiel. Now. And not another word on this subject.” Michael forcefully placed the keys in Castiel’s hand and swept out of the room.
“Damn bro, I almost thought you were going to stick up for yourself.” Gabriel leaned against a wall, sucking on an ever present lollipop. Anna just laughed.
“I hope your teeth rot.” Castiel hissed.
“That’s not nice Casss.” A little voice called. Castiel looked down at the mop of blond hair.
“Yeah Cassie,” Gabriel teased, “aren’t you gonna apologize?”
Castiel crouched so he was lower to the ground. “Do I have to apologize Samandriel? If I apologize to Gabriel we are probably going to be late. Which one are you going to pick?”
Samandriel bit his lip, but then raised his little fists in the air and held up the green floaties. “Swim lessons!”
Castiel smiled and led his little brother out to the car, but cursed himself internally. It had been months ago, a single weird night, a random run in. No way would the green-eyed boy be there.
God didn’t hate him that much.
Dean
Swim lessons were always a fun break from lifeguarding. Not that he liked admitting it, but teaching the little kids was always a riot. They still found swimming and water an amazing experience so it was refreshing to see someone really enjoy the pool. Sammy used to come with on those days, just to play around and help the really struggling ones. But now Sammy was ‘Sam’ and ‘too old for that kid stuff’ so Dean would have to meet the new class all by himself.
They looked like a pretty good group so far, an awkward kid named Garth would wouldn’t stop talking, a quiet boy named Andy, a toothy grinned girl named Madison, a hyper kid named Ash who Dean had already had to pluck out of the air before he went careening into the water, and a very unhappy looking little girl named Meg who was glaring at the pool like it had personally insulted her. Meg had already cracked under Dean’s easy humor, but her scary parent, Alistair, was a different matter. He looked...hungry. Thankfully after the first lesson most parents go read in the lobby or work out on their own.
There were supposed to be seven in this class, and after a very brisk handshake with an enthusiastic parent and a deep scowl from a tiny girl named Bela, Dean was wondering where the seventh was. A glance at the clock told him they were ten minutes behind schedule. He clapped his hands together to draw their attention.
“Alright kids, which of you have gone swimming before?” All the hands raised, good.
“Well, even if you have been in the water before, you probably didn’t think about the mechanics of swimming.” Dean smiled as the well worn spiel set in and he could see the kids getting excited.
Well, one short but it would have to do.
Castiel
“Castiel, we’re late.” Samandriel complained, tugging on his hand.
“I know, I know.” Castiel felt frazzled, shoving the car keys into his pocket then running the hand through the hair. A nervous habit. Traffic had been awful, there had been an accident and it took forever to get past.
“Castiellll.” Samandriel’s lip budged out in a pout and he looked a second from a meltdown.
“Samandriel, we’re right here. We are only fifteen minutes late, they had to do introductions and everything. It will be like missing the previews to a movie.”
“Fine.” His voice was small and pitiful.
The second they entered the pool area Samandriel dropped Castiel’s hand and bolted over to the group of parents and kids lined up on the pool edge, dipping their feet into the water. As he neared he heard Samandriel talking to he presumed was the instructor, hidden by the gaggle of parents.
“Samandriel, huh? Cool name.” A voice intoned.
“It’s an angel name. We’re all angels.” Samandriel answered, basking in the attention. Castiel felt awkward as he ‘sorry’-ed and ‘excuse me’-ed his way through the group.
“Who all are angels?” The voice again.
“My family. All my brother’s and sisters, we are all angels. Even though my brother doesn’t talk like one when we get stuck in traffic.”
“Where is this brother of yours, I need someone to sign paperwork.”
Castiel pushed past the final parent, and stopped dead. The guy looked up from where he was crouched to talk to Samandriel. His green eyes lit up.
“So this is the brother with the name but not the mouth of an angel?” Green-eyed boy said, grinning as he stood. His eyes flicked down to Castiel’s mouth and Castiel started to feel very uncomfortable.
Castiel swallowed nervously before answering, “Castiel Novak. I have a tendency to use profanities in a very limited set of situations. Stupid drivers fall in that category.”
“Dean Winchester. Well, hopefully paperwork is in the clear.” He handed Castiel a clip board.
Castiel nodded awkwardly and walked to the side to fill out form and let the class continue. It was going to be a long half hour.
Dean
The kids went through the drill quickly, eager to learn. They went through kicking, front crawl, and backstroke. Dean couldn’t help but tease a bit when it was time to get in the water. He stripped his shirt slowly, tensing the muscles in his back and letting Cas get an eyeful. When he drove in the pool and surfaced he could see Cas glaring at the clipboard like it was the most important thing in the world.
The class went too quickly. Dean would have liked to get Castiel back for that night some months ago, but not with all the students there. After they wrapped up, the parents started escorting their children to get changed and go. Dean treaded water for a second, wracking his brain for a reason to keep Castiel behind for some reason. Inspiration hit.
“Hey Castiel, there is a problem with your paperwork.”
Castiel’s eyes flashed to his, but his attention was diverted by an insistent Samandriel.
“Castiel, I wanna go home. I’m tired.”
“Why don’t you go get changed and Cas can fix this in the meantime.” Dean suggested, fighting a grin.
Before Castiel could protest, Samandriel had grabbed his bag and was making his way to the locker room.
The two spent a long second staring at eachother. Dean watched as a slow smile spread across the other boy’s face. Castiel slipped off his shoes and socks and obstinately sat down on the poolside and dangled his feet in the water.
“Oh yes, tell me about this problem.” The sarcasm was thick in his voice.
Dean pushed himself slightly out of the water to grab the clip board. He tapped the blank line. “See? No phone number. Do you not have a phone or just don’t want me to have your number?”
Castiel blushed slightly, “I do not own a mobile phone.”
“Really?” he tried to keep his tone light, “No electronic devices at all?”
“No. Why?” Cas narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. Thoroughly adorable.
“So I can do...this.” Dean lunged and grabbed a leg and an arm around the other boy’s back before quickly dumping them both into the water.
Castiel surfaced kicking and sputtering and making a mess of his hair as he tried to wipe water out of his hair. Dean laughed, keeping an arm around him to make sure he was still breathing.
“Dean! I can’t swim, I could have drowned! You could have killed me!” Castiel glared at him but Dean couldn’t take it seriously as the boy stood waist deep and dripping.
“I would have brought you back to life. I know mouth-to-mouth.” Dean placed the other hand on Cas’s hip, drawing him closer.
“Do you?” Cas stared at his lips.
“It was quite awhile ago. I might need a refresher.” Their head were close together, breaths intermingling.
“Uh huh.” Cas’s voice had dropped to a whisper. Dean leaned forward, closing the distance. Abruptly Cas leaned back.
“I’m pretty sure they have CPR dummies for that.”
“You’re a dummy.” Dean shot back lamely, disappointment colouring his voice.
“Wow, nice comeback. I really trust you with my life now.” But Cas was laughing and he was laughing at Dean and that just wouldn’t do. So Dean lunged forward and cut Cas’s laughter with a kiss and unceremoniously dunked them both underwater.
Because it’s a lot harder to laugh underwater.
A lot easier just to kiss.
Castiel
“Why are you all wet?”
“Because, Samandriel, Dean Winchester is a dick.”
“What situation is this? He wasn’t driving, why did you swear?”
The thing that gets to me the most is how unrealistically lots of people portray Dean and Cas’s relationship in canon-verse. If they ever actually became romantically involved. They won’t wear matching sweaters or write each other heartfelt poems or even cuddle on the couch with other people there or hold hands in public. Dean is too concerned about his identity, Cas is too not-human.
But that does not mean they won’t be unbelievably fucking adorable.
Not in the traditional sense, or the sexual sense (all heat and kissing), but in the way they have always been fucking adorable. But more.
The thing that gets to me is the way they would look at each other, not their deep soul-searching timeless gazes, but how they would look at each other when the other one is not paying attention. The way Cas would simile while he watched Dean do something normal and average like wash dishes or fix the Impala, but those things are not just anything normal because he loves him. Or the way Dean would stay hidden and casually creep on Cas reading a book in the Bunker, all concentrated eyes and wrinkled brows, feeling smug that it was finally his turn being the sneaky one.
And they will get in fights like normal people and kiss like normal people but the reasons, the feelings, will always be hard to talk about. Because Dean has problems with himself. And Cas is trying to understand a complicated world. But that does not mean they would not fight to the ends of any earth for each other.
Again.
And it might not be large gestures of love, nothing with rose petals, and, hell, they will probably never get married, but they will look at each other with so much emotion in their eyes and that will be enough for them. Anyone could see that.
Even though Dean wants to fucking punch Sam in the face when his grin does that stupid up and down thing when he is trying not to laugh at the, fucking adorable, two of them in love.
Castiel goes on a lot of college visits as a senior. His father wants him to make an informed choice. At a certain point they all start blurring together except KU which his parents fight about because apparently it’s ‘not good enough’. But they go anyway and the whole weekend is tense and awkward and Castiel was starting to hate the campus just by association. Until a meeting with an advisor to go over some class schedules, thankfully without his parents.
“No one needs that much Calculus.” A warm voice at the door says.
Castiel turns around to see a freckled boy walk in with a grin and an apple he sets on the advisors desk.
“I like Calculus.” Castiel says tentatively.
“e to the 3x over 3.” He answered smoothly.
“Wrong.” The boy smiled again and Castiel noticed he had green eyes.
“Plus C.” Castiel quickly corrected his mistake.
“I’ll tell you a secret.” He leaned down and Castiel could feel the warm breath against his skin, “I like Calculus too.”
“Get out of here,” The advisor said, “you’re going to scare away all our potential freshmen.”
“Sure thing Ellen.” The boy patted her shoulder and made his way out the door, but paused for a second and let their eyes meet. “See ya next year Cas.” Then he was gone.
It took four months and five fights until Castiel made it to KU for college.
It took six weeks until he found the boy with freckles and green eyes.
It was at a party Castiel never meant to go to but ended up at. A warm hand clapped over his shoulder and a loud voice yelled.
“Hey! I see you finally found your way here! How is Calculus treating you?”
Castiel grinned back at him, “I never forget to add a constant.”
“Dean Winchester.” Dean stuck out his hand and they shook somewhat awkwardly.
“Castiel Novak.”
“I remember.”
“How did you know my name?” That was one of the details that had bugged Castiel. Made him remember the boy.
Dean laughed and slung an arm around him, dragging Castiel through the party, “A good magician never reveals his secret.”
It stayed that way. On the night they moved in together. Just after their first kiss. On the day of Dean’s graduation. On the day of Cas’s graduation.
Each time Castiel asked he got a smile and a refusal.
It took seven years from the day they first met until Castiel had had enough.
“No.”
“What?” Dean’s voice was heartbroken.
“Not until you tell me how you knew my name.” Cas crossed his arms.
“Oh my god. Seriously?” A hush was falling around them.
“Yes. Dead serious.”
“You total dork, you were wearing a huge laminated name tag. Does this kill the air of mystery I was trying to preserve in our relationship?”
Castiel laughed, “Well. That was anti-climatic.” He stood there for a long second, a bit underwhelmed but still happy.
