Hey Remus Lupin fanfic writer here. I've written for Remus fanfictions and I'm still confused on how to play Remus in a relationship. Any tips??
when I write remus I usually write him as demiromantic okay, okay, so he's invested all of this time and energy in people that he loves without asking anything in return because that's what friends do but lovers take care of each other, lovers say the bad things because they know it's going to get you to the good, and it takes him a long time to figure that out, that sometimes you have to say the bad things to save someone
and I think that moment when he realizes that he's in love, that he really cares about someone, it so important to remus lupin as a character because underneath all of his amused bafflement, remus lupin is scared of people, he's scared of what they'll do if they find out about him, but he's still got to find that trust somewhere inside and if he never finds that then he'll fail and the relationship will crash and he'll just be left with someone else he can't trust but really it's his own fault because he just.. can't... trust people the way he needs to and there's nothing worse in a relationship than a lack of trust
when he learns to trust someone, when he finally figures it out, when remus isn't afraid anymore, he loves quietly. he doesn't say I love you a hundred times a day, he cuts the crust off sandwiches. he brings in the paper and puts the entertainment section on top. he expects nothing.
at first when he gets stuff back though, when the person he loves brings home fresh peaches from the market even though they're allergic, when they offer to trim his unruly hair in the sunny kitchen, it confuses the hell out of him. he doesn't understand ethos so well, he is a man of logic, of gathering the facts, of careful research. he's not used to people being selfless because they love him, and these small moments mean the world to remus lupin.
in the end I think remus' romances are a lot like his friendships. he encourages the people he loves, he takes time for them, he does not interrupt when they're telling a story because remus puts himself last. and sometimes that comes back around in an unfortunate way, but for remus, it's all he knows how to do.
