#dethmemes

[mikhalson]

Dethmemes my dudes

[ruthneckzilla]

I've been found out!

Some of you know very well that I run another blog with flowery writing about what a boring person I am. Those of you who don't know, well whatever. Not important. What is important to know is that I think a lot of people think it's a secret just because I haven't been as open about it as, say, every other aspect of my life (including the great food I make and the terrible cameras I use to photograph it!). Sometimes this leads to awkward or confusing interactions with people.

So let me just go ahead and say that if you've stumbled upon some aspect of my life that is available to the whole wide internet, then it's ok! There's no need to act sheepish! I started that because I was going through a really rough time and needed a whole lot of validation! And it honestly helped me get through, well, a lot of stuff. Not the support I received from all of the thirteen year olds (which I got a lot of and appreciated in a bemused sort of way. Thirteen year olds are apparently really emotional! Sometimes as emotional as someone who is chronically depressed! Hormones!) but the idea that I could say what ever it was that I couldn't actually feel and get that validated by whoever saw it and enjoyed it.

But that line between real life and fake personal life has been breached for a long time. Sometimes I brought people in on purpose; sometimes other people found it on their own. And Google Analytics runs a good enough service that if I at any time had reservations about people I know and love reading what I "really truly think", I had to give that fear up quickly. I guess, in the end, the reason I kept and will continue to keep the two separate but open is because sometimes it's nice and necessary to have yourself operating on two planes. It's nice to have different places for different things. If you find yourself acquainted with both, then that's alright. I'm not nearly as ashamed of who I am as I was maybe a year ago. It's been beneficial to have some distance between the two parts of me. But I'm not really about keeping them so far apart anymore.

Anyways, this felt necessary to write. It's not about anybody or any incident in particular. It's just something I've come to terms with over the past few months and needed to finally put together. Also, don't read any books or internet ever. Except for Summer of MegWhite.