the country lad
Age 34
After one of my shortest app chats that started with “Drink?” And ended with “text me tomorrow night” three sentences later I had myself an evening with Simon, the 29 year old, 6’6 brick layer who had moved to the big city from his 5000 acre cattle and sheep ranch out in rural Australia. I was in the mood for a rodeo.
He showed up in shorts and flip flops and greeted me with “Fuck you’re hot aren’t you?” This would be the tip of the “country charm” iceberg.
He wasn’t terribly pretty or even approaching smart, but he was enormous and stacked to high hell. He also gave the overwhelming impression of being filthy in bed and I wanted to start my long weekend off right. I was not wrong. He also at one point scooped me up to make out around the corner of a building and anything that makes me feel small and giggle like a little girl is rare and delightful. He tried to get over the fact that I was a socially capable, attractive female that “did computer stuff,” (he had only joined Facebook 3 months prior) and I had us headed back to his before 10pm. I was rewarded for putting up with his chat with one impressive piece of shredded beefcake. A proportional one no less! And by that I mean his dick. He had a big ol dick. An almost scary, bad ass, third leg. He proceed to slap me around and toss me over several pieces of furniture like a pro, even pulling off the highly underrated and often screwed up nipple slap (too hard, too soft, wrong spot, its really not that tough is it?).
Okay, now do mine
After a quick shower since we were both a mess I was grabbing a glass of water and he just had to open his mouth.
“Have you ever had a threesome?”
Yup
“Two guys right”
No…two girls
“Cuz I think you’d really like getting fucked by my friend”
wait, what?
“Yeah, you know how you like it real rough? my mate could really fuck you the way you like it. We’ve fucked tons of girls together before I was with my girlfriend”
Um yeah I think I’m alright, cheers buddy
“no really, do you want to see a video??”
I’m fairly certain he’s the most absurd bogan I’ll ever meet.
We did unfortunately have to continue with small talk in front of the TV during recovery time. He had some more charming “compliments” to share:
He referred to my blow job as “hectic.”
“Your skin is taut! – what’s your gym routine like?”
“Is that a clit ring? You’re a real freak hey”
“You got a perfect 10 set of cans (he continued to refer to my tits as cans all night) Can I take a picture?” No. “I mean not of your face or anything, just your rack to show my mates” NO
“Your pussy is tight! When did you last have sex?”
WHO SAYS THESE THINGS OUT LOUD
Round two could not get going quick enough. Luckily there was less chat and he fucked me with such aplomb that the sweat dripping off his chin formed a pool on my back. He turned on some Family Guy and I passed out and hung around for morning sex since I wanted another go on that cock before I ghosted this redneck.
4/5 stars While it means I’ll be going against his advice and ever so tragically missing out on enjoying the company of his friend, I will not be riding again.
