' did you believe in monsters? '
"did i— or do i?” he’s tapping his fingers on the table— itching to do something, to play a song, to build some code, to control another human’s hand movements— but it just seems like a bored habit. the other hand is propping up his chin, and he can feel it in his palm as he hums softly in thought. he knows he used to. he knows that when he was younger, he’d have his parents check for monsters beneath his bed and in his closet. he’d have gael be the one to turn their bedroom light off and climb into bed. he’d toss pillows at rafael for telling stories about monsters with the intention of keeping him awake at night.
what keeps him awake now is, more than anything, the fear of getting caught— the fear of what happens to august and june if that happens— and he can’t help the cliche thought that crosses his mind. am i the monster now?
“i used to, sure. werewolves, vampires, banshees, you name it—” he says, and he offers her a grin. “silly kid stuff though, right? now we know the monsters are human. always have been. we just tell ourselves they aren’t to make ourselves feel better.”