i think kanda's death flags are obvious atp so they're mentioned at the bottom, but what really stands out to me is how he's like, insanely suicidal, and no one in the manga really says anything about it
kanda has been showing signs of suicidal ideation (and depression in general) since he was born
(image description: two d. gray-man pages from chapter 190. after another day of being forced to synchronize with innocence, kanda is unable to sleep. "feh... i can't sleep. saarinzu's voice is pounding in my head," he thinks he observes the pools the other unborn second exorcists are in. his internal monologue continues, "this is the quietest place, but it's cold. you guys are sound asleep in the water. maybe i should try and go back to sleep. the world is dark. it's terribly hard to breathe. what am i?" after that, an illusion of a woman appears before him, and kanda makes a noise of surprise.)
they're peaceful, aren't they? blissfully unaware of the danger that awaits them once they wake up. kanda knows it. (alma’s sure they know it too, and that's why they haven't woken up yet.)
kanda's got tears in his eyes, and his face looks so numb, even though moments before, he was kinda pouting. and he's simply staring off into space—staring jealously at his unborn kin, wanting so badly to return to the pool he was born in and “go back to sleep”. death is a form of rest for him, and the second exorcists are dodging a bullet by not waking up.
then, immediately after he thinks he should go “back to sleep”, he sees “that person” again
later on, when kanda walks in on alma having killed an entire room full of people. alma says that he has to kill kanda now too, with little explanation—but the boy remembers something—or rather, someone.
(im so sorry the image format is so confusing, since it's read right to left i wasnt sure if i should put pages in left to right or the opposite format. im also working on this with an empty stomach. im going to go eat something.)
(image description: four pages of d. gray-man from chapter 193. the top left image is numbered one, the top right is numbered two, the bottom right is numbered 3, and the bottom left is number 4. on the page numbered one, alma says, "it's good to see you again, yu. i have to kill you now." he's smiling, and kanda is looking at him with a bewildered expression. on the page numbered two, kanda is lying on the floor. he hallucinates flowers, and reaches his hand up. alma is standing on top of him. both are covered in blood. on the page numbered three, kanda's eyes tear up, and then he closes them. he has a vision of a woman. "SHWAK" as onomatopoeia appears with alma's arm. on the page numbered four, alma looks at kanda with wide eyes. "yu?" he asks. as kanda slashes alma with his sword again, he replies, "sorry. i want to live... even if that means destroying you!", and he thinks, "alma, my... my only...". then, kanda's face is focused on—his eyebrows are furrowed in frustration, and tears stream down his cheek.)
that’s twice in kanda’s childhood that he came close to dying, whether at his own hands or at the hands of someone else—and both times, he was snapped out of it by visions of someone he doesn’t even know... you see where im going with this, right?
in case this wasnt enough, there's also the fact that he said he couldnt die until he found "that person" again, in the ghost of mater arc.
(image description: a panel from chapter twelve of d. gray-man. kanda is bruised and bloodied. he says, "i cant die until i find that person".)
but you and i know how this, ends don't we? he has found that person. so, um, i'll let you come to your conclusions about that
2. habits
kanda is also a very self destructive person at heart. he's your stereotypical bad boy, you know? one of the first things he says when working with allen for the first time is, “im not gonna save your lousy ass if you get into trouble because it's just gonna slow me down so keep up you little shit” (this definitely isn't verbatim but you know what im talking about, right?)—in fact, he says this to multiple others as well, especially in the anime’s extra arcs. (fake ass emo, i caught you caring about your comrades.) and then, guess what! he saves people, like, multiple times! you dirty little liar kanda, going around saving people after you said you wouldn't. what an asshole, this guy should die. oh, wait!
anyway, not only is he saving people, but he's actively jumping in harms way just to keep them safe, even if it's at the price of his own wellbeing. the way i see it, his thought process is, “it'll heal eventually, so it doesn't matter.”
(also, this isn't exactly the BEST example of kanda’s self sacrificial habits because im pretty sure he doesnt tell komui “im not going to bother saving your ass” onscreen, even though we can infer he either has or acts like he won't, but it's the only example i have on me, sorry)
there's also, um, this panel, which evidently shows kanda's desire to live and stay healthy.
3. eyes
after alma dies, kanda returns to the order with that classic, cocky smirk of his. hell, even what he says is bratty. his eyes, however—they're so lifeless, especially compared to lenalee’s. perhaps, "devoid of purpose and joy" would be a better way to describe it.
(image description: two pages of d. gray-man from chapter 207. the left page is numbered one, and the right page is numbered two. on the left page, noise marie's teeth are grit, and tears begin to fall from his eyes. lenalee holds a hand up to her face as she tears up as well. kanda has a small smile on his face. marie says, "you were supposed to be free!" on the right page, kanda replies, "come on. just say, 'welcome home.'"
his eyes lack a shine here as well, when he says that he regrets not informing the order of the fourteenth’s appearance.
(image description: two pages of d. gray-man from chapter 210. on the left page, johnny asks, "really? why, kanda?". after a beat of silence, kanda replies, "i'm the one who caused him to awaken as a noah." "you mean at the north america branch? but that was because the earl used alma to... it wasn't your fault!" johnny protests. "i didn't care what happened to the order," kanda explains. nea taking over allen's face and eye is shown, and kanda gritting his teeth, as he conintues, "so when we were working in paris, i ignored the signs that allen was becoming an akuma." on the right page, he continues, "i didn't report it to komui. i just let it go, because i hated the order more than the akuma or the noah." kanda looks back at johnny with a smirk, whose face wavers. "but now, regret prevents me from dying peacefully," kanda says, fully turning back to look at johnny.)
kanda, the black order’s resident piece of shit, saying that he wants to die without regrets? im onto you, boy.
4. easier stuff
there’s also kanda’s first (technically second, if you think about his “i cant die until i find that person” thing) death flag, and the scene that kickstarted my obsession with the thought of him dying.
(image description: one page of d. gray-man from chapter sixteen. a doctor mutters to themself, "it can't be... the wound is gone." kanda is on call with komui, while a finder walks next to him. "it took a while to heal this time, kanda," komui says. "but it healed," kanda replies. "but if it's taking longer, that means it's starting to become defunct. make sure not to miscalculate what's left of your life," komui says, his face solemn. kanda is expressionless, hanging his uniform jacket on one arm. the symbol of his tattoo is shown.)
5. conclusion
kanda's death is something that's been foreshadowed since the first arc he was in, but it's really important to note that he's not just going to die, he's going to die of his own will. whether it be from suicide or accepting his fate in a battle (i bet he’s going to take a hit for allen, but im broke, so just trust me), he's certainly not long for this world.
ive always struggled with concluding essays in school, im really lucky im passing english. not to be a freak, but i cant wait for when kanda dies... i mean, um, any feedback and input is appreciated! thank you for reading! ^^
Recently I reread Mater arc and wanted to make post about Kanda and the ways he shows his care about others. It can also be counted as yullen post because in this arc lays foundation for their future dynamics.
Okay, I’m starting from the scene in mess hall, when Kanda confronts Finders about how their mourning for lost comrades ruin his appetite. (He is being asshole here, let’s be honest). Notice what he said to them:
While sounding harsh it’s actually sincere advise coming from Kanda who, unlike them, can’t leave Order out of his own free will.
Allen interrupts, and Kanda tells he can die very soon here. Knowing his history, it’s kinda explains his behavior with Allen. Why become close with someone who can end up dead very soon? Kanda prefer to snap at people to keep them at arm length.
(Also Kanda lied here. He never stopped using ‘Beansprout’ as nickname for Allen. What about hating the ones who don’t keep their promises, huh, Kanda? What a hypocrite).
Adding this panel with reaction to joined mission because it’s hilarious.
Later on their way, after all his ‘blablabla, you will die soon’ Kanda still explains Allen things he doesn’t know about when he asks without much fuss. Don’t know why animators gave this scene to Toma instead.
When they arrive to Mater, almost all Finders are dead. Kanda reminds Allen not to rely on him. He may sound cold and uncaring but I feel it’s actually opposite – he tells Allen to try and survive on his own, because Kanda can’t guaranty he can help him.
He even observe Allen’s fight for a moment, before going to secure Innocence. And after what again reminded Allen what he can’t help him. But threw a last glance at him anyway. Obviously he was concerned.
Kanda talks with Lala and Guzol. First he says bluntly he would prefer to take Innocence immediately but doesn’t do it after Lala’s plea. He even apologies to them.
But after his encounter with level two he drastically change his mind and even angry at Allen for not doing it immediately. What happened? Kanda says it himself – circumstances. He himself badly injured, Allen is injured, even Toma. Yes, Kanda has some pity for Lala and Guzol but he prioritize his comrades survival. They still need to secure Innocence but trying to protect Lala and Guzol would make it harder, for Kanda it doesn’t worth risking their lives.
He practically tells what to Allen. And Kanda himself is sacrifice Order was willing to make to save humanity. Unwilling sacrifice.
But Allen is okay with being sacrifice. He volunteers. And it makes Kanda very-very angry. He wouldn’t be this angry if he didn’t care in first place.
I bet he hit a nerve here. Telling this to Kanda, who was sacrifice to win a war. Kanda, who never wanted to be one, and here’s Allen, who is ready to lay down his life willingly. That’s their fundamental difference, the point of their conflict.
Hence Kanda’s rage. He asking Allen if he don’t have anything worth living for.
But he calms down pretty quickly hearing his answer. And listens Allen.
He disagree with Allens’ views but at least he acknowledge them.
Akuma attacks and Kanda visibly concerned about reckless Beansprout.
Aaand he protects Allen. After he so loudly proclaimed he isn’t going to save him if something happens. Also, he really listened and now reminds Allen about his wish to protect Lala and Guzol.
Look at this smile. Allen realizes Kanda cares, despite his speech about how he hates him.
To the last scene. Kanda notices Allen’s depressed mood and suggest solution he can think of. Notice how he doesn’t insist here and being pretty considerate of Allen’s feelings. No harsh words, no demands.
He even tries to console him, kinda, sharing his own philosophy.
Allen once again understands what Kanda trying to do and answers what by sharing his true feelings.
And I think Kanda remembers his words pretty well. At the end of Alma’s arc he says this:
I don’t know japanese, but according to translate app his words also can be translated as ‘Because you were here I was saved’.
TLDR: Kanda permanently angry at Allen because Allen is okay with sacrificing himself for other people’ sake. He can’t accept it because he, Alma, Marie were made to be sacrifices against their will. Kanda actually cares a lot and rejects Allen’s choice to always put himself in harm’s ways and not thinking about himself first.
Noticed by me and Candy-Crackpot (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/candy-crackpot).
The moon symbol is often found on pages of D.Gray-man.
Continue, the manga Hoshino created before D.Gray-man, has the moon in it too. In Continue the moon was Millennium Earl’s prison and the place he corrupted – thus the source of his powers. The Earl calls himself the “messenger from the moon”, calls it “my darling moon” and requests it to send him a servant as it did before. The moon refers to him as Earl-sama.
In D.Gray-man the moon’s role changes as it is not so literal as it was in Continue. It becomes symbolic.
Hoshino draws the moon back in her sketches of Zone, D.Gray-man predecessor (taken from Gray Ark).
To begin with, the 3rd volume of D.Gray-man has this omake which reveals that both stars and the moon are Hoshino’s self-projection in the story.
The moon in D.Gray-man accompanies Millennium Earl.
In 7 ch the moon is in the sky when the Earl is introduced.
In 88 ch the Earl holds the dolls designed as Noah family members and the moon is in the background.
The moon accompanies Nea. In 21 vol omake Hoshino draws him with it.
In 211 ch we see the moon when one of Campbell’s twins is crying over the other.
In 18 ch when Noah family first appears in the story the backs of their chairs are decorated with phases of the moon.
In 96 ch when Skinn awakens as Wrathra the black moon is in the sky.
The moon is the symbol of Allen as well.
In the Gray Log interview Hoshino reveals the meaning of the chapter covers she has selected. (You can find it in Norowareshimono’s blog: https://norowareshimono.tumblr.com/post/168330704446/gray-logs-monochrome-gallery-hoshinos-chapter)
Here is the info she reveals about 132 ch cover:
“Chapter 132 “The Musician!!?”
After lots of worrying about this cover, I thought “let’s include every element associated with Allen!” and this is how it turned out. This page took an unusual amount of time.”
In this cover we can see Timcanpy, Mana’s curse, Innocence, crucifix, piano (which for sure is connected with Nea), the skull (which probably is connected with Cross Marian as he turned into one). One of the mysteries left is the moon necklace Allen is holding. What is known about it is that Hoshino associates moon with Allen as well.
Many moons connected with Allen are seen in 58 (“Destroyer of time”) and 59 ch. They can be seen accompanying Allen in other chapters as well, for example, in 6 ch.
It is noteworthy that when Allen and the Earl are separated, the moons are actually half-moons. But in the chapter in which we see both Allen and the Earl together for the first time, the moon is full. The chapter I’m referring to is the 2nd one and is entitled “A full moon night”. It is quite possible the moon symbol indicates that Allen (Nea) and the Millennium Earl (Mana) are two parts of one whole.
If you don’t believe it, as a further evidence in 88 ch the moons in the background are two halves of one whole.
Some other characters were accompanied by moons as well: Lenalee – in 74 ch, Kanda & Link – in 213 ch (though I suspect this moon may be related rather to Allen & Nea as they speak about Allen and he is lying over there).
so @unstable-style wanted my thoughts on the top 5 dgm character thing so!
Lenalee - i agree with literally all of it? like Lenalee is just such a good character and everything a girl character who plays the more stable role in a group should be! she went through a lot of harships that i the fandom and even herself as a person tend to downplay. she is a kind person who cares more about people around her then herself and i fucking love her! there’s not much to say about her because like... i love her! she cares so much and she deserves so much more thats the bottom line! also dont wanna into a full-blown analysis here.
Lulubell - first of all me and the anime have a complicated relationship cause i actually do enjoy some things about it and i love seeing my precious children and my husband animated the anime just has a lot of shitty filler and I THINK SOMEONE REALLY HATED ME AND MADE ME A LOT MORE OF A JERKASS AND I DONT LIKE IT! now going on to Lulubell herself. ure right she is very cool and elegant and the type of character anyone who likes girls would be in love with the moment she shows up! i actually like how she got more screentime in the anime shes still a Noah but i would feel bad if she died. she also could be covered in blood and guts and still look like the most elegant person in the room which is #valid.
Allie - we all know that i love Allie with my entire heart. she means everything to me and i constantly worry about her and i have to agree with everything u say about her and it also makes me so sad to think about how alone she is and how kind she is. i just wish that she could be herself that she could be honest about her feelings without the fear that it would somehow backfire on her. i wanted to do so much more for her but in the end i couldnt, its in her hands now to open up to others and get better and i pray that once it happens she will be understood and be less lonely. a heart is a heavy burden especially for someone like her. i want her safe and happy because with everything that happened to her and all that pain needs to have a payoff that isnt more misery and im sure u agree. overall what u said just makes my heart hurt because... my poor baby went and is still going through so much theres nothing i want more than hold her and tell her that i love her.
Lavi - a character i love a whole bunch tbh but i have a hard time actually putting my finger on who they are, ur whole thing about them is very good and says a lot of things that tend to be hard to analyze in them. like i knew it already but its hard to actually go into a good analysis because u can tell theyre distant because theyve been told they should be and are the character in the main 4 with the least explored backstory. ure right we can feel the depth in them but we still didnt get there yet its an odd feeling. but theres a sense there even if we dont know much about their backstory that its something important something that means a lot to Hoshino and its nice in a way.
Kanda - ok first of all Froi was the whole reason Lavi called Kanda “Yuu” (not kidding its canon they heard Froi call Kanda that and then calling him Yuu and Kanda did not like it) and second he got more masculine is because he started to go on hrt im calling it. and im gonna ignore the whole hentai thing because i dont wanna unpack that but u thinking from the beginning he was trans is very valid! and ure so fucking right about him u hit the nail in the head! and i think that the reason he thinks that exorcists are destroyers not savior is probably from the very beginning of what happened to him and Alma. and honestly, he and Allie clash a lot because of their different approaches to that very fact. i think he cared for her and the others since the beginning but didnt want to. he cares way much than he shows or wants to.
The more I re-read and remember about the order, the more certain I get the Order are the true villains of DGM. Taking people that would have died otherwise and forcing them to live, that gets into a real moral quandry; something they set up entire panels to deal with at Hospitals (people can go to experts to get help onto whether they want to take their loved ones off of life support. That is the particular example I’m referring to). But the Order doesn’t give those people a choice.
They just take and take and take, all in the name to win a holy war that may not even be winnable in the first place.
Now in no way am I saying the Earl and the Noah are in the right either. However, we see Road display it quite a bit.
Sympathy.
Even before this, when Alma kills the Crows, she feels sad for Alma for seeing the truth. She does that a lot as the manga progresses, showing sorrow for her “enemy”. While it may be because of her connection to Allen, the only Noah we ever see act really “vicious” no matter the situation is Sheril. He seems to have the most autonomy among everyone. While he says, while torturing Lavi, that “everyone (the other Noahs including him) want to kill the 14th” none of the other Noah’s ever express that.
Now think about the Order. When the 14th awakens inside of Allen they treat him like he is literally satan. They want to use rougher methods than stabbing him, and they call themselves clergymen.
Now Zhu is far more understanding. He has that personal connection to Kanda and Alma; and almost by default for Allen. He has this sympathy for Allen, “Walker is merely trying to protect the will of his allies.” But Zhu is told to be “silent”. They will not even hear the man’s words, trying to explain that these kids just want to help each other. He is showing the literal physical evidence that Kanda is dead and that he will not be a danger to them anymore, that Allen was not making Kanda or Alma a danger to them.
Long story short fuck the Order. I am team Noah. If these clergymen, supposedly “peaceful and loving and speaking the word of a loving God” are this monstrous, than I’m all for humanity being wiped out.
To be honest, a part of me is thinking that Tyki is going to side with Allen at some point. Not side with the Order or even side with Allen’s group, just side with Allen. There is a connection there that is deeper than we have seen so far. For a long time, I didn’t even think that Tyki would be a big player in the manga, but I think his role is going to be MUCH bigger than I (or perhaps even we), first thought.
You know to be honest, D.Gray Man just doesn’t seem all like that much of a Shounen anymore, and that isn’t supposed to be an insult. I actually quite like it better the way it is now ( and hear me out though take this with a grain of salt considering this is all just my opinion and conjecture haha). For Shounen manga, for me, it has to hit two “quotas”. That would be “Show Piece battles” and “Building destruction”. That may sound odd I know, but the shounen I grew up reading are the ones most would think about when they hear that word.
More often than not you hear shounen and you think Bleach or Naruto. Those are the two that really got huge. Those two have two things in common. One would be that there is a “huge” battle every few chapters and buildings/towns get pretty much leveled because of the main characters fights. Bleach was a rather egregious offender of this (I’m looking at you Fake Karakura Town arc).
Now in no way am I saying DGM is not a shounen manga. At the beginning there were big fights and lots of destruction. However, even those were rather tame compared to most manga/anime in this genre (even our main character isn’t all that over powered. However that is for another discussion). The last real “big” fight (at least for me and that would reach my “quota”) was the last one at the old base with the level 4 Akuma. There are skirmishes and little fights here and there (like with Tyki and Tiedoll’s innocence in the last chapter) but nothing astronomical and town destroying like, for example, the Pein arc in Naruto.
I’ve stated previously but DGM just seems so much like a Gothic romance novel to me (a little southern Gothic as well). There are just so many characteristics that attribute to this. Here are just a few generic characteristics that are attributed to Gothic novels:
Gloomy, decaying setting (haunted houses or castles with secret passages, trapdoors, and other mysterious architecture)
Supernatural beings or monsters (ghosts, vampires, zombies, giants)
Curses or prophecies
Damsels in distress
Heroes
Romance
Intense emotions
While you could technically take out a few (like romance and damsels in distress) that sounds pretty accurate to DGM. That doesn’t even include things like suspicion of authority, the mystery, and just the fog of uncertainty.
Something that I adore about Hoshino’s art is that there is such movement. You can feel Kanda’s speed and Tyki’s sudden stop. She has always been rather talented in potraying action, but it has just gotten so good over the years. Like I just can not get over the beauty of this. You can almost hear the jarring stop of Tyki’s motions. UGHHHHH.
