#diaryish

[malindulo]

I hate being vulnerable so much I'm so disgusting & manipulative & it's kind of on accident & kind of not, but the only way I can do things on purpose & it not be my fault is if I'm stupid. which I am, but also, that's just that shell I use to try & get things out of people. I am a grown man I no longer have any room to be ditzy & to not take responsibility for my being alive. & yet I still do. & I always push it. I always try to live in that trance just a moment longer until someone is openly disgusted by it & reminds me that I'm not cute & it hurts all over again.

[bbvaaa33333]

01/01/2026

i watched the snow fall to the ground and cover the trees all the way up to their tallest point

[sundervalentin]

alright i feel 15% better after reblogging all of that. time to make dinner which is going to be a beautiful spring pasta

[bonjourundaufwiedersehen]

so hauntingly ironic how i keep distancing myself from everyone and refusing to make an effort for creating new connections only to realize i am sitting alone in my room with so much spare love. so much love for life, for the world, for anyone living their life trying to keep being a "good person" and a "kind person". so so much love with absolutely nowhere to go.

[hyadhuu]

🔥;

2021 was officially the worst year of my life.

What can I say? Other than… I hope I never have another year like this.

I hope 2022 will bring better days for me and my family. And if not… I will do everything in my power to make better days happen.

Happy New Year.

[hyadhuu]

Amazing how liberating it feels to just … let go.

Letting go of the things I cannot change.

[bruisedkiss3s]

i had a good day. a whole day with hardly an ounce of stress or lack of motivation. i found myself smiling as i listened to music with the windows rolled down in the car, catching the sight in the side mirror. my boyfriend and i were driving his dog to a friend to watch before our camping trip tomorrow. i haven’t felt this much joy for life ever in my 21 years on this planet.

[rosepeachsadsoul-blog]

Thursday, 28th May

I had a very weird dream that affected my sleep really badly. It was a horrible nightmare and normally I don’t have any. 

When I woke up I slowly started to feel a bit better but everything is different these days. I feel fine and then feel super low, who knows why. I need to find something to do because this lockdown is seriously driving me crazy.