#dickflowers

[pitchface]

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Sexpisode.

The world is run by fat old bastards and dumb young jerks, all expecting women to put out for their garbage crotches. This episode we're visited by Sam Jones, sex blogger, who allows us to pitch her on sexy TV dramas and sexy web domains! Also: internet-enabled vibrators, orgy etiquette, santorum, steam cleaning and eye-frost!

This episode is brought to you by sex and Dickflowers.edu!

SHOW NOTES

Sam's blog, Smut Buttons

Fat Leonard’s orgy

David's lady pic on Faceapp looks like Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture Show, not Riff Raff the reality show dropout and rapper

WeVibe court case

Ivan Pavlov

Free domains for you

Santorum/sprog

Stephen Tobolowsky, performer, writer, Texan Jew, Ned Ryerson in Groundhog Day

Kärcher 1200W Handheld Steam Cleaner

Satisfaction (Australian TV series)

[shipadick-com]

The Dick Bouquet! Originally designed for Mother’s Day, the Dick Bouquet exudes sincerity and forgiveness. Whether you’ve publicly humiliated the woman who stretched herself to unfathomable lengths just so you could ruin her life, or you recently blacked out into a threesome with your husband’s father and grandfather, this charming bouquet will get you out of the doghouse and back onto the couch. The Dick Bouquet is curated with locally-sourced dickflowers (12), a sprig of baby’s breath and shitty, fluorescent tissue paper. There is no better way to say “I Love You” or “I’m sorry I jack-hammered the babysitter.” If you’re still reading this, you’re a free-wheeling, pill-popping, ungrateful brute. Put down the Adderall, pick up the phone and order a dick. Actually, we don’t take phone orders. Get online with the rest of the sinners and reserve your Dick Bouquet today! We’ve even included a custom note card for free!! #ShipADick #DickBouquet #DickFlowers #VD #valentines

[deanwearslacepanties]

Scientists in 100000s of years look back at this website, trying to understand this old way of life

"Sir, we have no record of this."

"There is nothing in the books. What could it mean?"

"It means...we must find these...dickflowers. They must hold some special magical quality we are unaware of."

The quest for the dickflowers commences.

[puppett-queen]

when i see your URL i think of moist stamens

vAL 

[puppett-queen]

did i do it right

YES 

[puppett-queen]

is dickflower like the first period for the dick or something ??? ??? ? ? ? ??? ? i am so confUSED

it’s a cult. 

join us. 

don’t be alarmed. 

[imnotleavinherewithoutyou]

mishascupcake replied to your post “mishascupcake replied to your post: omg tsooe just broke 10k hits on...”

Stop....when I just want a good pace long read I always go back to tsooe.

oooooomg:') you're making me emotional oh nooo

i may have accidentally gone and reread a couple chapters last night whoops

candybowtie replied to your post “this would be so touching except i don’t care at all”

does this mean you don't like it? also nice url

yeeeaaaaaahhh did not like the episode at all

and bahaha YES

[puppett-queen]

dumb url change

lionheartdean >> dickflowerdean

literally don't ask. i'm not sure either