WIG REVIEW: MARY POPPINS RETURNS
Ok so first off: I saw this movie with my daughter (her first movie in a theater) and I highly recommend seeing it with a toddler because your enjoyment of it will improve by like 100x but also you’ll have to deal with a toddler who is afraid of animated wolves on bowls (and also figurative ones played by Colin Firth). Still, this is a kids movie for kids and my kid liked it. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WIGS? Let’s discuss.
Let it be known that in preparation for seeing this movie, I showed the original Mary Poppins to my daughter and have now viewed it approximately 300 times. Clearly the filmmakers of the sequel did the same because they basically made a remake of it. I once coined a term for sequels that are just a rehashing of the original but with new actors - a repeatquel. This movie is the definition of repeatquel (also please make “repeatquel” happen you guys!)
Emily Blunt is perfectly (or should I say “practically perfectly” - omg I’ve seen Mary Poppins so many times ugh) cast as Mary Poppins, an ageless sorceress who travels by umbrella or kite (depending) and can also travel between real or animated life (depending) and can speak to dogs and doesn’t explain anything. She is a supreme weirdo masquerading as a daycare employee and honestly she’s all of our lifegoals, amiright?
There are few people who would want to take on this role and immediately be compared to DAME JULIE ANDREWS but Blunt pulls it off. Though she is basically supposed to be the same age as Julie Andrews in the first film, time has elapsed for everyone else and we’re now dealing with Michael Banks’ kids in the 30s. Michael Banks is now played by a mustached Ben Whishaw who has the very best hair in life anyway and Jane Banks is now Emily Mortimer in a very acceptable 30s bob.
Also her hat and pants game is EVERYTHING.
Also national (American and UK) treasure Julie Walters is now the Banks maid, Ellen in a nice old lady wig.
Clearly this production was MADE OF MONEY and for the most part, the wigs reflect this. Blunt’s 1930s fingerwave lewk is not to be trifled with and her olde timey Gibson girl lewk in this animated fever dream section is also pretty good. Also in this repeatquel, sidewalk drawings are now bowls. GO WITH IT.
Within this animated bowl fever dream, there is a section with dancing penguins and a vaudeville-like show which allows Lin-Manuel Miranda to rap (as contractually obligated?) and gives Blunt this blunt bob. This wig is better than anything sported by Roxie Hart in Broadway’s Chicago currently. So. Good.
OH AND MERYL STREEP IS IN IT.
I see what they’re trying to do here with this wig but.....um......I don’t know if it is succeeding in the way intended. The cut is very Theda Bera but the color is pure Lady Gaga mid-A Star Is Born which is to say: TRASH. Also I’m sure this wig cost about 200x what Lady Gaga’s cost. Also this whole song was very bizarre but I think Meryl Streep now has the right to sing whatever song in whatever wig she wants always. I’m sure it’s in her contract.
I cannot say a negative word about Dick Van Dyke. His whole lewk is magic and my reaction to this whole part of the movie is basically the same as Lin-Manuel Miranda’s face here. But also I cried.
OH ALSO EFFING ANGELA LANSBURY IS IN THE END! This role was written for DAME JULIE ANDREWS but she was busy making Aquaman (YES REALLY) and I will take Dame Jessica Fletcher any day of the week. The hat is really doing the work for the wig here.
In the end, much like the film: practically perfect wigwurq!