#did **

[unshadowbannedbaeddel]

Hey if you have a system (head mates, alters, etc) you don't actually have to figure out "why" or explain how you are they way you are. Like, ppl who lack this phenomenon don't have the pressure of explaining why they only have one alter and no other alters.. kill the psychiatrist in your head, all clinicians are bastards

[unshadowbannedbaeddel]

legit feel like a child who just got dropped into an adult living situation and its like everything is so far beyond me and everyones mad at me for not knowing things and understanding and it makes me sad and scared :(

[unshadowbannedbaeddel]

Going to become my own lacanian psyche and therapise myself into a puddle by hitting my brain with running through multiple iterations of the shit I've sublimated from bedrock into sky scrapers.. just really really really be like unwraping a fractal of "nah mate, your fucked cunt" and like - ok but at the bottomof the building, below the rubble you want X and it's still like, idk 1/100th of the way down lol like what fucking condition demanded these coping mechanisms from you bitch TRAUMA FLASHBACK.

*tactile PTSD flashbacks*

I was writing a post apparently *men in black hit me w that fuckint memory blank* "you have a system of alters that give you memory issues, there is no government conspiracy to control your mind"

WAKE UP CUNT WAKE UP CUNT WAKE UP CUNT FUCKING WAKE UP

[unshadowbannedbaeddel]

she's gone. everyone will leave until i can get a grip on my system. im always in the back seat because being conscious all the time is too painful. so i fuck up and say horrible things

i gave them the tools to snap me into consciousness but they didnt want them, they didnt want towork with me that way, want a put together girl a girls whos fun and wild and whos trauma doesnt make them dissociate, split into DID systems and someone who doesnt act out.

all i have if i dont act out is to act in, cuts nad more cuts, scars and not leaving my bed.

[unshadowbannedbaeddel]

me, trying to go out: *intense visions of a picture that i have to draw*

[unshadowbannedbaeddel]

just found out which of my alters is the drug addict, and its not me!