Write about what you know. That’s the adage isn’t it? I’ve known that I’ve wanted to blog for a while, but have always stumbled thinking about what my main focus would be. What do I know about? What have I personally lived and can offer any (small though they may be) insights into. Diets. I know diets. I know there are millions of other women who could be writing this same post, because most (not all) women I’ve come across in my 25 years are on, have been on, or were planning on going on a diet.
Why are so many wonderful, talented women so wrapped up in dieting? What is it about diets and the diet mentality that grip us so tightly? I woke up this morning on this first day of my diet rebellion, and I actually felt peaceful. I had become so used to agonizing about my food for the day from the moment that my eyes opened, that I had forgotten what it was like to not think about food outside of meal time. How weird. When I woke up, I was still full from the night before and so I made my morning cold brew iced coffee, read a few chapters from a book, and then got on with my morning by taking by dog for a walk. I wasn’t hungry and so I just didn’t feel like eating. There was no pressure to eat breakfast to jump start my metabolism or fear that I was setting myself up for a sugar bender later in the day. I felt confident and assured in the fact that when I was finally hungry I had the mental permission to eat exactly what I wanted and exactly how much I wanted.
Around 11:30 my stomach started to grumble, and so I asked myself what sounded good to eat? Not how many points should I allot for this meal or what can I find in my fridge that’s paleo. No, the question was simple, “what sounds good to eat?” I can’t remember the last time I asked myself that question with no sort of food morality strings attached. I chose the chicken salad and crackers I had leftover from yesterday. I grabbed the container and crackers and plopped myself down on the couch, and dug in. It was good and I was thoroughly enjoying myself. About 3/4 through the meal, there was a moment of panic and I quickly shoved a few forkfuls of chicken salad into my mouth. I noticed what was happening and paused to try to figure out what was going on. I realized that I was telling myself that I SHOULD be stopping soon, because I was eating a good bit of chicken salad, and it’s not a “light” food. I felt mentally threatened that I was going to force myself to stop eating before I had reached a point of satisfaction, and my body brilliantly recognized those thoughts and was trying to go into overdrive to make sure it got enough food before I restricted it. Our bodies are brilliantly designed. As soon as I recognized this thought, I reigned it in. No, I’m going to eat until I don’t want anymore physically, not what my brain is trying to tell me is an acceptable amount. A few bites later, I sighed and felt disinterested in the chicken salad. My post lunch sweet tooth kicked in and I realized I only wanted a few bites of something strong. I peered in the fridge and saw a bar of dark chocolate that had become buried under a few salad dressing bottles. I broke off a few rows and happily munched away on the chocolate leaning on my kitchen counter. It was exactly what I wanted.
Eating without pressure is so unlike anything I’ve known since I was in elementary school. I will be honest, I know there is going to be a learning curve, but on this first day of my diet rebellion food has been so absolutely delicious and so unexcited...it was just food. Imagine that...food just being food.
