Deborah Tannen’s Difference Approach
‘The Difference Approach’ proposes an alternative perspective from the deficit and dominance approaches — it argues that distinctions between men and women simply reflect different sub-cultures and attitudes to speech.
The Difference Approach as explored by Tannen is generally summarised into six categories, each of which contrasts the use of language by males and females.
The approach avoids “blaming” men for being dominant and avoids suggesting that women’s language is inferior.
Terms you should know!
Status Vs Support - men use language to show power and dominance in conversation. women are more likely to support and agree with others in the conversation.
Independence Vs Intimacy - men will use language to show they do not rely on others. women would prefer to use language to maintain closeness with each other and connect with others.
Advice vs Understanding - men will offer solutions to a problem through their language. Women will show empathy and understanding to a given situation.
Information Vs Feelings - men are more likely to be factual in their speech than women. Women will use language that bis less factual and stem from a more emotional viewpoint.
Orders Vs Proposals - in conversation, men are more likely to be more direct in their language using imperatives to command others. Women are more likely to use more suggesting language in oppose to commanding e.g. man - 'close that window it is cold' (direct imperative), women - 'isn't it cold in here' (therefore suggesting she wants the window closed but uses an interrogative in oppose to a imperative).
Conflict Vs Compromise - Men are more likely to use language to argue a point. women are more likely to use language avoid such conflict and are far more likely to negotiate with others to try and find a solutions or compromise.