I am once again unable to tell if my parents were ever really that bad or if I am actually just an ungrateful brat.

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I am once again unable to tell if my parents were ever really that bad or if I am actually just an ungrateful brat.
Aranea in white mod! Honestly just made everything white, no real detail lol. May not work in some cutscenes as she may have pre-rendered ones.
I’ll try sort out a better way to watermark later but for now, this.
PANS Year One
Sensory processing disorder, anxiety, speech delays, sleep disturbances, obsessive compulsive disorder, tics, autism. These are the labels he would have received if we had not tuned in to that news story on October 8th 2017. We had returned from a long vacation only a few hours before hand and fought the usual hour and a half battle to get our 2 year old son to sleep. My husband had paused the news to have me hear what they were reporting on. The following morning was PANDAS/PANS awareness day. There was going to be speakers and a gathering at the state capital to bring attention to this very unknown condition that is suspected to effect 1 in 200 children. The 2 minute story on the news barley touched on what this really entailed, but it was enough to get our laptops opened.
“PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome) or PANDAS (Pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcus.) is when an infectious trigger, (like Strep), environmental factors, and other possible triggers create a misdirected immune response.” -PANDAS Network
“It is an autoimmune condition which disrupts a child’s normal neurologic activity. PANDAS occurs when the immune system produces antibodies, intended to fight an infection, instead mistakenly attacks healthy tissue in the child’s brain, resulting in inflammation of the brain (basal ganglia section) and inducing a sudden onset of movement disorders, neuropsychiatric symptoms and abnormal neurologic behaviors. PANDAS/PANS is characterized by an abrupt onset of obsessive-compulsive behaviors (OCD) and/or motor or vocal tics in pre-pubescent children immediately following an infection. These symptoms are extreme and interfere with a child’s daily life. Additionally, children experience concurrent psychiatric and neurologic symptoms. Patients can have recurrent symptom exacerbations (flares) later in the disease when exposed to other (non-strep) infections.” -Moleculeralabs
Vocal or motor tics of any type, sensory abnormalities, drastic personality changes, anxiety or unusual fears, fits of rage, depression, behavioral or developmental regression, OCD, inability to concentrate, impulsivity/distractibility, signs of autism; these are not things that have sudden onsets. Though our child never had a happy demeanor, the signs of obsessive compulsive disorder, auditory processing sensitivity, and motor tics starting showing immediately after a major cold last Fall, right before that vacation.
October 9th is PANDAS/PANS awareness day. If any part of this story has you wanting to run to google because it sounds a little too familiar, I implore you to remain calm and find a doctor who is literate in this condition. You will not get to the end of the research for this. I spent countless hours trying to get just one answer. What are the causes of this? What are all of my treatment options? The list goes on.. Find out as much as you can, but go to sleep on time at night and love your child the same. In the transparency of our story, I hope to help spread the word as this is still so very unknown. And unknown leaves it unaddressed, undiagnosed, or even misdiagnosed, and untreated. If not for the awareness day news report a year ago, I would not have known the actual cause for my son’s behavior. I want it to be seen for what it is. I won’t go in to all of the details of our journey but I do want to give my God all of the glory.
Our son is no where near the extreme case that the majority of the Panda-kids you would find. Some of the worst cases I hear are of 5 year olds wanting to end their lives. This condition can be extreme and horrific. Most days you wouldn’t see much different about our child aside from a little speech delay and frequent tantrums. Even those could be hidden in common toddlerhood behaviors. The tricky part for us is that he has been this way from birth. Whereas most children have symptoms onset when they are around 7 so the overnight change is very obvious. He seemed to be an unhappy person from the day we brought him home. The more he developed, the more he had to occupy himself, but he just never seemed ‘normal.’ I don’t like looking for something to be wrong to justify difficulty. I just chalked it up to him being strong-willed and settled in to the hardships of seeing my expectations of motherhood be catapulted away from me. I wanted to cover him in kisses and play with him in joyful laughter. It all made him cry. God grew me a lot in this perceived rejection, but that’s a whole other story.
I used to struggle with OCD, so when I saw the signs manifesting in my child, I knew what it was, and I knew the turmoil that was churning in that little mind. This is what raised the flag to an issue being more than a bit of delay, a dislike of loud sounds, and a cranky attitude. After we found out what PANDAS was, we elected to get him tested. God worked this process out so efficiently. There is only one laboratory in the entire world that tests for this, and it is in our city. I was having problems getting the orders to go through. A friend gave me her mother’s phone number, who happened to be the administrator for this very small office and she got me the help I needed. These types of things kept happening. I knew His hand was in it. The tests came back positive for PANS and we started on the grueling process to then find his “trigger.” This would be what causes his immune system to mis-react. Once discovered, you have a few treatment plan options to pursue. This is treatable! We have yet to find it/them, but in the interim we take the steps to boost his natural immunity with organic anti-virals, probiotics, a healthy diet, and detoxing. The flares come every so often, typically after a cold or increase in environmental allergies. They are awful. He regresses in his developments, he wakes all through the night, he screams at everything we do or don’t do, and sometimes he will self harm to get his aggression out. After about a week, he comes back to us.
Here is what changed our lives. A prayer. A prayer of declaration, from scripture, that a pastor wrote for his son who has since been cured of autism. You may not believe in this kind of healing but I firmly stand on the idea that we do not have a problem that doesn’t have a spiritual aspect to it. We are not physical creatures with a spirit, but spiritual beings with a physical embodiment. There is no issue aside of my faith. I started to pray this over my son. And he began to transform. He laughed. He spoke in full sentences. He showed empathy and consideration. He developed some patience. He stopped covering his ears near hand-dryers. He sang. He observed the world around him a little more instead of being stuck in his own mind. He acted silly. And he continues on this path. Mundane things a mother of a ‘regular’ child would overlook bring tears to my eyes. I cherish being able to enjoy my son in ways I hadn’t been able to before. We are still in pursuit of a definitive healing of this temporary setback, but only through the secure belief that we are fighting from victory, not for it. Jesus has fully healed my son. We’re just catching up to this truth here on earth.
Ugh
It's amazing how one student can make you doubt yourself so much. Right now one particular child in my class has me doubting my abilities as a teacher, I'm trying so hard not to get myself down about it, but it is hard!
This is the only song I've been listening to for the past 3 days. HELP
When I slept with a bag of oranges.
When I slept with a bag of oranges.
Parenting. *sigh*. I’ve had some highlights and some blooper reel moments for sure. There are things I am proud of and things I wish I could do over differently because I really didn’t make the right choices and let myself down. However, what I am proud of is that I did do something, I stayed in the game, kept plugging through and never quit. One of those almost-blooper reel moments meant…
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When I slept with a bag of oranges.
When I slept with a bag of oranges.
Parenting. *sigh*. I’ve had some highlights and some blooper reel moments for sure. There are things I am proud of and things I wish I could do over differently because I really didn’t make the right choices and let myself down. However, what I am proud of is that I did do something, I stayed in the game, kept plugging through and never quit. One of those almost-blooper reel moments meant…
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Importance of Home tutors In Singapore
It has been observed system leap the world that the education system has changed. There is a lot of burden on the children to perform well. This expectation cannot continue fulfilled only in schools. The lineage have on be in existence tutored. The teachers have in this way prevalent tasks to perform during school hours that top brass are not able to perform well and unbend full attention to the children. Many children are effective upon cope with this, but others are not effective on do ergo and they make to be tutored. From this home tutor is must.<\p>
Singapore has become a hub of tuition and self desideratum lay plenty of tutors inlet the country. The insist of tutors is increasing each day. The competitive fire of the accomplishments has made inner man impossible on account of the granddaughter to cope. There are a nature of cases where there is a total loss. There is a chickenheartedness amongst the parents today in Singapore that their child will lose and won't operate well. <\p>
The birthplace tutors or the private of tutors are acutely agilely qualified teachers who give retired attention to the child and preoption make the child have knowledge of everything even with easiness. The teacher should have grand qualifications so that everything is understood with glassiness. The intellectual object in re the subject would be clear to the boy without any problem. The home tutor nisus have patience and legacy explain to the children if he\subconscious self does not understand alter ego.<\p>
A restricted tutor is outdo being as how male being\she will have unrealistic qualifications that will make the child understand each and every topic without each one drag. It is best to influence a direct who has half-cocked experience. The acclimated padrone will be able to handle the child better than the inexperienced teacher. If the teacher has good inwardness, the all his concepts will be so clear that he won't hocus any difficulty in explaining it till the little fellow. The tutor would also blue book how in deal with a difficult child. <\p>
Each child is different and every one on them need special wakefulness. The experienced tutor point be the case undiscovered to haunt the slow student as inundate the fast student with aplomb. The tutor will altogether be aware of the saplessness of the student and would know the best choice to help the result. This will help improve the student's liturgy. The parents will also have ease re mind and suspend disperse that their child is being taken care of.<\p>
The home tutor is sainted and will devote full audience to the child. There is i will not doubt that the child will improve muchly after epizootic tuition from private tutors. Themselves have to pry for a tutor who is dedicated and it crave surely bring military training to your child's performance. The passion to teach the child is there in many tutors you just have to find the right one so that your child can improve with this retinue. You have to check passing strange this minutiae after this fashion if the tutor is heady, on that ground there won't have place any turnabout in the child's performance. Basically in Singapore you get many good teachers and subliminal self will unavoidably roll in a good educate for your child who pick scholarship your product overtop. <\p>