#difficult patient

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Anyone else ever go to a doctor and have literally no idea how to answer thier very simple questions.

How do you feel?

Me: okay I guess

Has anything changed since the last visit?

Me: um like what change? Um I guess mostly the same?

When was your last period?

Me: Idk my days all run together and sometimes I don't have one for three months and then I'll have what feels like two back to back for a month?

Any feels of fatigue or stress?

Me: Idk I'm always tired I was a student with no summers off until like May I'd this year and now I'm preparing for my first year teaching in a rural (aka doesn't pay shit) school and I have no car. BUT like that was always there since the two years we've been doing this check in game so......

Any abnormal bruising?

Me: ???? I mean I bruise easily and sometimes have bruises that don't know how they got there but I'm clumsy af and could possibly trash about Tina belcher style when I sleeps so like I guess not? Maybe? Are we taking in how they look?

What's your level of pain?

Me: idk? I mean it hurts and I have a super high pain tolerance

Them:? On a scale of one two ten two being the worse pain you've felt.

Me: ....well it's not like when I broke my leg so not a ten....I don't know I'm here so probably at least a 6 I think?

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“Say He Kicked Face of Hospital Orderly,” Toronto Star. October 26, 1939. Page 38. --- Hamilton Driver Who ‘Raised Quite a Rumpus’ Jailed --- Special to The Star Hamilton, Oct. 26. - Clifford Pennington, who, police said, ‘raised quite a rumpus in General hospital,’ was sentenced to 30 days in jail today by Magistrate James McKay for drunk driving. Accused’s car struck a fence, according to testimony, and when police took the driver to hospital for first aid, he allegedly kicked an orderly in the face and swore at the officers.

[medschooltutors]

The Difficult Patient: A Med School Primer

Have a noncompliant patient and not sure what to do? Dr. Samuel Azeze has some great advice for med students who will undoubtedly find themselves in this situation as interns and throughout their medical careers.

Sometimes caring for the noncompliant patient requires a little extra caring. 

[ourdoubts-aretraitors]

Well if a psychiatrists wants to put me on an antidepressant, I’m sure as hell going to be the one picking it.

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

Negotiations with my therapist

(This conversation took place while I was 30 in a residential treatment facility for bipolar which used the 12 step model quite a lot. I hate the 12 step model with the intensity I usually reserve for Scott Walker and the asshat who had the locker next to mine in high school) Therapist: You need to go to the Al Anon meeting Me: No because I don't need an assault charge on my nice, clean rap sheet. (Author's note: A special place of hatred exists in me for Al Anon meetings for reasons) Therapist: I think it would be good for you. Me: And I think giving me unlimited Diet Coke would do wonders for my outlook. It's about as likely to happen. (Sometime later, in which I was begging for a pass to leave campus for IV's birthday...) Therapist: Passes are supposed to be for therapuetic purposes. Like going to a meeting. You can go online to find one. Me: Do I HAVE to? Therapist: I would STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you to go. (Author's note: When they said this, it functionally meant you had to. But I watched Bill Clinton argue past vs present tense on CSPAN in my youth, and that's not what they said. Let this be a lesson for you kids about not saying what you mean the first time.) Therapist: Did you go to a meeting? Me: No I spent my son's birthday with him and all the people I haven't seen in two months. Therapist: You were supposed to go to an Al Anon meeting. Me: I'll go to the meeting this week here if you'll drop it. Therapist: You're supposed to go anyway. Me: And my father thought I was supposed to be an architect when I grew up. But it turns out I have no gift for math or physics so here we are. Therapist: ... Me: So are we good here? (End scene) (Author's note: these bargaining sessions happened about once a week for two months... clearly, I was a model patient... and a child)

[blahandwhatnot]

Adventures in Dilaudid...

Do not come to the nurse's desk yelling, screaming, and demanding I give you your PRN pain medication when moments before I explained to you it is too early.

Do not call me a liar and insist I gave you your last dose at 0200 when I gave it to you at 0330.

Do not insist that the pyxis's time-stamped receipt of your last dose of Dilaudid being pulled at 0330 is incorrect and continue to yell at me demanding more Dilaudid.

Do not threaten to complain to my manager. I really don't give a fuck. Especially since I am correct and have proof that I am correct.

YOU. WILL. GET. NOTHING. UNTIL. 0730.

And not a second sooner because of that attitude.

Hell, I'll be there at 0735 just out of spite.