Challenging Holidays
For those of you that have lost a parent,the Holidays can be an extremely sad time for those left behind. My mother is 85 and fights depression daily after losing my father, her husband of 65 years to lung cancer. As hard as we might try, the somber mood in the household preparing for the frivolity of guests, food, decorations, a tree, and sleeping arrangements for out of town visitors is quite a buzz kill. None of us are “joyful” as the Holidays approach. But we certainly can try. Mom is sleeping more, and not engaged with guests. I think our focus is just getting through it. I find that distraction is a helpful tool, a little music and a show here and there is also an option. We pulled out games and redirected our sadness to other efforts that keep our minds from wandering back to dad and our profound loss. I think the main thing I’ve learned from the Holiday recovery after the loss of a loved one, is expressing gratitude for each other, keeping things light, and focusing on our long journey together, vs. what we don’t have. And giving each other time to be alone and be sad, cry, remember- it is all okay.