Anyone feeling really...tired lately? Like you're being pulled in too many directions at once and there's too many things to do?
I've been struggling with this a lot lately, and just when I needed it, this article appeared on my Facebook feed:
Anxious about returning to regular life? 6 Jesuit discernment tips for the post-Covid world
In the article, for those that don't want to read, the author likens what we've done during the pandemic to going on a spiritual retreat. We've disengaged from our normal, for a long time, and, as she rightly points out, it's going to be hard to go back. We are going to have to re-learn some things. (The author suggests some practices from the Ignatian monastic tradition, if you want suggestions.)
And I think the same thing is true for our digital spaces. Even though we've been here for the whole time, we've changed the way we use these digital spaces in big ways.
I think a lot of what's going on in a lot of fandom spaces I'm in right now (tumblr, discord, AO3) - and where a lot of my fatigue is coming from - is the desire to be the participant (and have the level of participation) I had when I didn't have anywhere to go AND the completing desire to go back to the world of school and work and social activities that don't involve Zoom.
And we can't do both. We simply don't have the bandwidth, and we definitely don't have the time. And some of us are somehow...beating ourselves up over this?
If you have time today, sit for a moment and consider where you spend your time, and what, if anything, is giving you anxiety in your fandom and digital spaces. Can you turn off some notifications? Do you need to see every conversation on your Discord server? Would making a post for your tumblr followers make you feel better? Do you need to put a project on hiatus or turn your askbox off?
Go ahead and do that thing. This is your permission slip. Fandom should not be a source of worry, and we're not giving out participation grades here. Take a breath. It will all be okay in the end.