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Compassion in the Face of Disgust

We're all told at some point or another to be compassionate, to be understanding or to put ourselves in someone else's shoes. Sometimes the advice is on point, but at other moments it just seems to grate at our patience. Should we include ourselves amongst the portion of the population which wishes to see the world advance, live in peace or, dare I say, create a more nourishing environment for oursleves and our future offspring then compassion is surely important. Its a phenomena that humbles us, that creates a deep emotional connection, that provides perspective and ultimately an appreciation for our current station in life.

But how can we be compassionate towards that which we revile? The source of compassion rests in the understanding that we, as living creatures, are all essentially the same. We must eat, we must drink, we must sleep, we must take shelter, we have fear, we are subject to change, we have a desire to live, we will become sick and ultimately we will all die. All these statements are immediately relevant to every animal on earth. Yet we often fall into the trap of convincing ourselves otherwise. We tell ourselves those people aren't human, they are different than me. Those people have no conscience. Those people are ignorant or stupid. Those people deserve what is happening to them.

Obviously these statements lack compassion, but we are all likely guilty of having uttered at least one. The trick is turning our digust from the outside to the inside. This is not to say we become disgusted with ourselves, but that we reflect on the moments in our lives where we've exhibited the same or similar behavior. We've all generalized and stereotyped a population. We've all tried to draw lines to differentiate ourselves from others. We've all done something others would deem deplorable. We've all exhibited stupidity and ignorance. We've all found ourselves in a difficult situation of our own making. Perhaps our own behavoir has not been as extreme as those which digust us, but we certainly can imagine scenarios in which the opposite is also true. And that's besides the point. This exercise reminds us of the aforementioned point, we are all essentially the same.

Statements that lack compassion derive from a departure of the ultimate truth that we are all functioning under the same basic pressures. These statements tend to elevate us, to make us better than their targets or to seperate us from that group. But if we are honest with ourselves we can't deny that this is nothing but a pure act of hypocrisy. If everyone we deem as “good people,” including ourselves, have all committed the same act then what moral authority do we have to judge others for their lapse of civility, judgement, patience or respect? Compassion in the face of digust is born from the humility of this realization. We have no moral authority over anyone else.

The second step in turning our digust to compassion is turning this realization outward. Once we've humbled ourselves to the level of those who previously disgusted us we can begin to realize the motivations for their actions. While we are all subject to the same pressures we are all also experiencing our own unique blend of experiences. We all have a different prism through which we seem the world. We all had a different childhood, different influences and we all have a different range or norms which we accept as typical behavoir. Taking our humility and binding it with an appreciation for the recipe of events that has led others to act in a manner we view as distasteful develops within us a sense of emotional connection, of empathy. That which puzzeled us or left us indignant now has given rise to a powerful sense of understanding, sadness and perhaps love, however melancholy.

From this place of understanding it is natural to want to help those who we've judged even if it is not immediately clear how. This leads us to the highest form of compassion which is a physical act of compassion. A physical manifestation of the process of turning our digust inward and then turning our humility outward. Whether this is a helping hand, a hug, smile or sometimes simply not saying anything at all, if you are honest you will know what is appropriate in the context. Trust your intution, have courage and know there is no wrong way to behave when you act from a place of humility, understanding and compassion.

We live in a time where it is easy to be digusted. We've made a national past time of pointing out others faults, misdeeds and violent behavior. We've even come to glamorize these same acts. But if we are ever to move forward as a species, to overcome our current challenges and to realize peace within our own lives here and now we must strengthen the muscles of compassion. Even towards that which makes us ill.