#dilaudid ep

[tmglineaday]

You can look, but you won't find another love like ours

[tmgcalligraphy]

[attention-all-pickpockets]

" when we chewed up

pseudoephedrine like bubblegum

til our hearts were beating

deep and rich as kettle drums

we knew if we waited long enough,

the change would come

and then the day did come, and at last

hold tight, hold fast

we were becoming what we are

collapsing stars "

[oddlyspecifictmglyrics]

When we hid out behind the risers at the high school Working bitter calculations with a slide rule The grim particulars of poisoning the swimming pool Well, you looked me in the eye Ready to die

Collapsing Stars / Dilaudid EP

[tmglineaday]

Hold tight, hold fast, catch lightning in a jar; collapsing stars

[tmglineaday]

We were becoming what we are, collapsing stars

[attention-all-pickpockets]

" i told you to load up on provisions

because we wouldn't be back for a while

pack up your troubles in your old kit bag

turn toward the camera and

smile,

smile,

smile! "

[tricky-pockets]

ok, so I tunnel-visioned on the Mountain Goats

fuck, the Dilaudid EP just does not get enough recognition. I forgot how hard it slays me. continuous goosebump-shivers. I know a couple songs first appeared on... Sunset Tree? but it’s such a complete composition. here’s a description from someone who Does Not Know How Music Works.

starts out with ‘Dilaudid’, which has Intense Strings doing a really driving rhythm and it doesn’t stop, and the vocals sound deliberate and a little ominous until the chords... escalate? and his voice comes unglued into this terrifying urgency, and the whole thing has Car Wreck Energy.

If we live to see the other side of this I will remember your kiss. So do it with your mouth open. And take your foot off of the brake. For Christ's sake!

and then we head into ‘This Year’, which does that Mountain Goats thing where it sounds upbeat with like some bouncy guitar and a real simple piano bit:

I broke free on a Saturday morning I put the pedal to the floor 

and then the lyrics sink in and it’s brutal:

I could feel the alcohol inside of me hum Pictured the look on my stepfather's face Ready for the bad things to come...

[...] The scene ends badly As you might imagine In a cavalcade of anger and fear

then it resolves on “I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me” and it’s not nice but it has grit and feels more real than any positive spin on that story ever could or should be.

And then we’re into ‘Collapsing Stars’ and I don’t know how to describe the music. it’s slinky but also staccato? pointy? like, you could probably do a tango to this and you’d be weird but it would work. Each verse has a cadence I don’t know the words for, with syllable emphasis in triplets:

The grim particulars of poisoning the swimming pool... 

and then breaks down into ache at the end for 2 lines - and then straight into the next verse.

When we chewed up pseudoephedrine like bubble gum, Til our hearts were beating deep and rich as kettle drums We knew if we waited long enough the change would come. And then the day did come and at last Hold tight. Hold fast. Catch lightning in a jar - Collapsing stars. 

The EP ends with another version of Dilaudid that has swooshy clean guitar instead of the Intense Strings. and it sounds like a bitter 4am memory of the version at the beginning. but about 5 years afterward. it’s lonely and there’s love in it.